Finding the right lubricant

    My wife and I have struggled to find a lubricant that works well and feels good to her. We have tried some products from KY, Astroglide, and a few others but none of them quite fit the bill.  The main problem is that DW doesn’t like lube that is cold and sticky. It makes her feel messy and it hinders her arousal.

    Usually her natural lubrication (plus the lube on the condom) is enough but she has experienced chaffing recently after a few minutes of intercourse.

    Any suggestions?

    California King Asked on November 26, 2019 in Activities & Items .
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    16 Answer(s)

      We like Pink Water and Sliquid H2O. Both are water based so safe with toys but will require repeated applications for extended sessions. CO is goo too.

      Fell out of ... Answered on November 26, 2019.
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        I don’t blame her Ky and Astroglide end up getting tacky and sticky after some time.  We’ve used coconut oil in the past (and still do sometimes in a pinch) but for us it gets grainy after a while (even the good kind) and the grains end up ruining the moment at inopportune times.

        We love LOVE  love something called Wet Platinum, its silicone based and I’m not sure if its compatible with condoms but its the silkiest softest lube ever.  Feels almost like natural lubrication, and while there is some residue leftover afterwards it stays smooth,  it doesn’t ever get sticky or leave me feeling gross. I get it on amazon, its a bit pricier than some other lubes but for us definitely worth it.

        On the floor Answered on November 27, 2019.

        I second silicone. Fine with latex condoms. Should not be used with silicone toys (higher end stuff).

        on November 27, 2019.
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          Coconut oil! Sorry, just a little opinionated on the subject. I also hate the feel of typical lubricants and CO was a game changer for me. Good luck!

          Edit: wanted to add that I found out today that oil based lubricants should not be used with condoms, so maybe try it just for play or OS. 

          Queen bed Answered on November 26, 2019.

          Any particular kind of coconut oil that you would recommend? I have heard about it but I am unsure of what exactly to get. Do I just go to the grocery store and get it off the shelf? lol

          on November 26, 2019.

          I have to be careful here because I could probably write a book about how much I love CO. Yes, you just get it at the grocery store. I prefer the kind that comes in a jar, usually extra virgin although I doubt that matters. It looks solid and white but melts in your hands quickly to a silky clear liquid. It feels very natural. And will not leave grease stains on sheets or clothes like other oils. I see another answer mentions condoms in a way that implies you shouldn’t use it with them, so look into that because I don’t know about that.

          on November 26, 2019.
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            I totally agree with @HisGirl, but I saw you mentioned condoms, so I figured it was out and I wasn’t going to say anything because I have no other recommendations.   Artificial lubes leave me feeling slimy and dirty, CO does not.  The skin absorbs it and it doesn’t leave a residue feeling.

            Under the stars Answered on November 26, 2019.

            You aren’t supposed to use it with condoms? I never heard that before. It’s a non-issue for us now but we did for years!

            on November 26, 2019.

            Any oil based lube, including olive oil and coconut oil,  should not be used with latex condoms because it can dissolve the latex, causing them to break.

            on November 26, 2019.
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              We’ve tried a lot over the years. Coconut oil is ok but can get gritty if it melts and then re-congeals, which happens in Florida so we stopped using it. We currently like Sliquid brand. They have some natural ones we like. Current favorite is Silk, which has a touch of silicone in it so it lasts a long time. Also use the water one for toy play.

              King bed Answered on November 27, 2019.
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                We prefer extra light olive oil. It’s great as lube, plus makes a good massage oil too

                Queen bed Answered on November 26, 2019.
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                  We use LOVE, by Lorna Vanderhaeghe. I like coconut oil, so we sometimes use that. DH prefers the LOVE, but we keep both handy and use CO for oral.

                  On the floor Answered on November 26, 2019.
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                    My wife’s natural lube rarely needs supplement; we like it wet and sloppy and usually precede vaginal intercourse with some heavy-duty oral on her; I’ve got spit to spare.  But, we keep lube handy for hand-jobs and oral-on-me, as well as to occasionally enhance the vaginal experience.  Our favorites include:  any of the water-based JO lines, but especially Tame the Beasts Edible Nutt Butter products.  Tame the Beast is a terrific start-up in Nashville that has a full line of men’s grooming products, but also has expanded to some body lubes.  The Edible Nutt Butter lubes are just the right consistency for us (and very pleasant to the taste–Peppermint is our first choice, but all flavors are premium); even if no oral play is in the mix, the Edible Nutt Butter lubes work sensually, without any greasy residue , etc.  Highly recommended.   www.getbeast.com

                    Queen bed Answered on November 26, 2019.
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                      We have only used two different types of KY (though I clearly need to try coconut oil–I plan to; just haven’t done it!) I’ve never found the KY to be sticky unless it has gotten old and I guess some of the water evaporates and condenses the gel. Regular KY is okay, but a number of years ago we found one in a pale green tube that smells minty or menthol-ish. It stimulates wherever it touches bringing blood flow to the area and can be a boost when the spirit is willing but the arousal is weak. We bought it before they came out with the expensive KY his and hers stuff, and I haven’t seen it on the shelves since (to be fair, I haven’t really looked; we don’t use it that often and it was a big tube) which makes me kind of think maybe they realized it was good stuff and so re-introduced it at the higher price point. Pure speculation. But if you come across KY that has a mint or menthol element to it, it’s worth a try.

                      Also, I usually ask DH to hold the gel in his hand a couple seconds to warm it before touching me with it to cut down on the sudden freezing sensation.

                      Under the stars Answered on November 26, 2019.
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                        We haven’t tried anything beyond the standard KY. But to solve the temperature problem, I’ll slip the tube in my underwear and let my gluteus maximus warm it up over time (watch out for sharp corners on the tube!) while we talk/foreplay. Makes for a cold cheek or two, but Zelda appreciates the thoughtfulness. If you have a heated blanket and actually use it, sticking it under the blanket while you’re out of bed but it’s warming up can help too (this is most useful in the winter).

                        -Scott

                        California King Answered on November 26, 2019.
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