For the Ladies: How do I get her back?


    Question for the ladies:

    I’ve been talking with a woman, and both of us like each other a lot (we did, at least). But I said something, that she took in the total opposite way that I intended, and now won’t speak to me. Here’s the timeline.

    At the beginning of the week, we were talking on the phone. I’m a deep thinker, and love having theoretical discussions about subjects, outside of their personal application. So I asked her what she thought about a particular viewpoint, that was contrary to the one she holds. I did this purely from a desire to spark a discussion, and see if we could learn more about the subject together. I played devil’s advocate when she made particular assertions, not in an aggressive way, but merely asking her what she thought about the counter-point. She, being very passionate about the issue, took it as me taking the opposite position. I’m not going to specify precisely what the issue is, but suffice to say that it’s a very important, very sensitive theological issue.

    The strange thing, is that she didn’t react negatively right away. We got together for a date two days later, and I thought we were at a “transition point” in our relationship. I was ready to progress things, so I asked her how she felt about me, and the relationship between us. She said that she liked me as much as ever, and that her feelings had only grown. That she wanted things to work out between us.

    Shortly after said date, she sends me a text, telling me it’s over. As the reason, she gives me the issue I already described above. And tells me that I clearly have no respect for her beliefs, or her convictions, because I sought to invalidate them. When that was never ever my intent. I just wanted to have a discussion, and never meant to attack her point of view.

    So, needless to say, her text nearly gave me a heart attack. And I’ve frantically been trying to explain, but she just responded by saying her feelings for me are gone, as a result of my disrespect towards her convictions. And asked me to stop contacting her.

    How do I get through to her, and win her back? What can I do to revive the feelings that were there, before this misunderstanding took place?

    Queen bed Asked on July 5, 2019 in SINGLE.
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    11 Answer(s)

      @ David

      That’s not something I can do. I care, so I’m going to fight for her. If that turns her off, then I’m not the one for her.

      Queen bed Answered on July 7, 2019.

      bravo on your commitment to follow thru. I would just advise you to go slow, almost to the point of starting over.

      I would like to make the point that fighting for someone can work. I fought for my wife and won her back. Had I remained the same person who lost her, that would not have happened. I am not advocating changing for someone else, in my case, and probably in every case, we can and should be better than we were. I would start by re thinking your assertion that you didn’t do anything wrong. It would appear that you hirt the object of your affections. You can claim miscommunication, mistake intentions, or whatever you like, but that doesn’t really mend hearts. Humility and taking responsibility for your actions sometimes does.

      You are obviously free to pursue any path you like, and you are to be commended for seeking counsel. Are you willing to follow it?

      Duchess gave you some things to think about, most notably in her 4th paragraph. Have you considered them?

      on July 7, 2019.
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