Fox hunting through the years – SoS 2:15
As you and your DS have journeyed together within the MB, what have been some of those pesky little foxes that have “spoiled the vineyards” in bloom in your MB?
What little foxes seem to return time and time again that have proven to be more difficult to overcome or endure?
I seriously have a mental block towards poetry. Referring to things as “foxes” with no literal explanation, has been repelling me from answering, because I am not positive what you are looking for. To try…..
Hinderences for me/us from the beginning: 1) Pride, 2) Seflishness, and 3) Self-righteousness. Of more recent years, 4) Selflessness.
Disclaimer: I hold the view that Song of Solomon is wisdom poetry that provides a beautifully unique view into the MB. It’s ok if we differ on this view. For the sake of conversation, try to entertain the view. Either way, what a glorious book!
You do mean DW or DH, right? Wow, my list is endless and hers of me twice as long, and those against us could be so daunting. But I would say that a pesky fox that truly spoiled our vines was my lack of forgiveness. Learning to forgive was a groundbreaking experience in our vineyard.
Unrealistic expectations and/or comparisons to others!
As a HD, touch/sex love language man, I think about sex often. I feel loved, fulfilled, and turned on by my wife showing interest, enthusiasm, and great pleasure in the marriage bed. However, a LD, responsive only, very conservative woman is generally not going to be a sex queen.
Even now with greater understanding of the dynamics at play I still sometimes feel discouraged that our sex life is not ever going to be what I’d like it to be.
Fox 1: Faulty assumption that the “right” way to have sex after foreplay is to PIV for 15-20 minutes non-stop at a rapid pace (which is what I think I would need to O from thrusting) and then climax together, and that since we can’t do that we are somehow second-class sex practitioners; that our sex will only ever achieve a B grade.
Fox 2: Failure to overcome life’s little (and big) interruptions and hurdles to maintain a more satisfying frequency.
Fox 3: My feelings of “less-than” because sex is so very connected to reproduction and I am infertile.
The foxes have always been my DW’s level of confidence within herself. Our therapist says that this is because of the years of sexual and physical abuse as a child have kept her in a state of survival, and she is just now reaching a point where she is starting to tune into her mind, her body, her needs, and her desires. She describes it as being locked within a glass box that she can’t break no matter how hard she tries, and it hurts me to my core to watch from the outside looking in every day.
If there’s anything I wish I could give her, I wish I could make her feel confident.