Friday, January 31, 2020 – Today’s Question(s) of Day
Former spouse? Pity/duty sex. That HURT!!!
Current spouse? NOTHING…well, ok, when I came earlier than I wanted to a couple times..BUT in my defense, DW was(is) hot, got me going, kept stimulating and I was SOOOO turned on. To state in Creation Adam’s words, “It was the woman, it was her fault.” 😀
Most disappointing is probably either when I climax too soon – like newwifenewlife, mostly because I have been too into foreplay with my very hot and erotic wife! – otherwise when my wife isn’t able to/doesn’t climax – she more often than not does, so on the occasions when she doesn’t I feel like either it’s because she’s not into it and it’s verging on duty sex, or because I have been unable to attend to her needs before mine.
Alternatively, it would be the times when I think we’re both on the same page about having sex now/later and then she falls asleep or stays up to watch TV or just continues to check Facebook on her phone. Those times are the most disappointing sex we’ve never had though so I suppose that’s different haha!
We almost never use wot positions because there have been a couple of times that she literally looked bored to tears. I mean this is supposed to be this great position for women to help themselves toward an O and she looks like she can’t find any kind of groove to get in and is nearly yawning. Seriously, that bored looking. I think the second time that happened was when I finally accepted that she’s just not going to get there thru PIV. It was, and still is on occasion a blow to my confidence, and one of the biggest disappointments in our marriage.
For me, it was when my wife said, “Okay, let’s hurry up and get this over with so I can go to sleep.” It was so painful to the point where my desire and drive went completely to zero and I had to excuse myself from the room. That was about 8 years ago during her gatekeeping/refusing phase.
Since then, things have improved, but most forms of duty sex are still painful. There are times that I’ll ask if she’s interested and she will respond with, “Um…well….uh….yeah, I guess so….”
It’s still hard for me to this day to initiate without the fear of rejection.