Genital Shaming

    Hi Beloved,

    I have been thinking about this lately and I hope this thread will be an encouragement plus to edify.

    I realize that in our culture we have a lot of shame that comes with our genitals.  I say this because this is not only for one gender…this blanket both sexes.

    For example, how many times have Christians refused to call genitals what they are?  Instead of the penis, it’s called “That thing down there” or it won’t even be mentioned like it’s the villain from Harry Potter.

    For women, it’s even worse…”It’s dirty” or “Don’t touch that!”

    The media is even worse…Think about all the times you have watched a film and a guy gets hit in the testicles and this is considered humor.

    For us men, we are to be more preoccupied with our penis because it is external.

    With women, they are to ignore it because it’s internal.

    I wanted to encourage you to be thankful for how God created your genitals and be in awe of God’s handiwork.

    If you are feeling shame about them, ask God to heal your shame and find out the root of it.  Maybe this is programming growing up or culture as well.

    I encourage you to rejoice in how God made you because He is the great Creator.

    I will end with this video because women seem to struggle in this area the most:

     

     

    Two things;
    One, shaving those areas is preferense driven. Don’t let anyone shame you out of it.
    Two, many decades ago it took a very specific blade to trim stuff and it probably resulted in discomfort and blood. Today our technology produces great shaving products, creams, oils and sex toys that are safe. We also possess great baths, showers, pools, towels, soaps and many other great things to make sex a great clean experience in the marriage bed.
    Shaving is part of a modern society.
    Wives: never underestimate the power you have to turn on your husband by shaving.
    Men; shaving the boys is a delicate endeavor. Takes practice.
    To those who say it itches after i shave it….apply some lotion or light amount of oil. Shave it again on day 3. Keep it up. Go without underwear to bed. It will feel better. Or you can gradually shave it….

    on March 23, 2020.
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    11 Answer(s)

      Elevation, you raise a very important topic and make a very good point!

      We do our spouses, and even ourselves, a huge favor if we accept our bodies and their parts as they are! There is only so much we can do about them! So, we are much better off accepting them and then in humble confidence share them with our spouse! At our wedding, we actually did a gift exchange and so our bodies do belong to our spouse!

      If you struggle with your genitalia or other parts of your body, it would be good to stand in front of your mirror alone with God and thank Him for each part.

      Under the stars Answered on October 31, 2019.
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        Does shaving feed into shame …. thought provoking question:   Guess your reply had us thinking – wondering-questioning ….. shaving below the belt …… most American wives, girlfriends, females shave their legs and axilla (arm pits) which is cultural norm ( in France – the exact opposite while on our honeymoon and using summer public transit).     Which leads us to our  question: why is it totally accepted to have our population take for granted to shave their legs and axillas – yet to shave or wax pelvic area is shaming?     In our marriage, we both are smooth and cleanly shaven  ….. why  …. so our spouse can see, glorify and love our anatomy

        Queen bed Answered on November 2, 2019.
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          Are young people who are shamed for other things like nerdiness or weight or low socioeconomic status less susceptible to some of the more “optional” things like shaving and the sexual things like erect nipples? (Maybe not erections for the boys.) I started shaving my legs because I felt like it was the next step on my way to being a woman instead of a child. Mom shaved her legs, so if I’m to be a grown woman, therefore I must shave my legs. No shame, just binary logic. The underarm shaving came about because hairy pits are stinky pits! (That reality may have contributed to the belief that my increasingly hairy pubic region was likely stinky and therefore dirty. I had no frame of reference for shaving that, so it never occurred to me! And the one time I trimmed it because it was becoming unwieldy, it itched so much I couldn’t stand it so I never did it again.) And honestly, it never occurred to me that people noticed my nipples. As a teen, boys didn’t look at me in general, so why would they look at my nipples? Only when they became erect enough to pull the skin uncomfortably would I even notice, in which case I would just push them like buttons (through clothing, and unobtrusively) to make them behave. I guess I just never had any room for shame about these things when I was so–not necessarily ashamed, but unhappy, maybe–of not being one of the pretty and popular kids. (Then I was blessed to find my own crowd to be “in” with and a fabulous boyfriend who was worth marrying, so the unhappy outsider is not very much of my high school story at all, but I still didn’t feel shame about anything genital related.)  😀

          I focused on the teenage years because I think that’s where our opinions are formed on this subject and they probably don’t change much without a reason. Although I believe most women would be glad to give up leg shaving.

          Under the stars Answered on November 5, 2019.
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            Your synopsis is vert astute: perfect example is .. why in public are erect nipples or male erections so shunned? DW’s when cold, or walking down food store freezer isles commonly get erect nipples – and feel compelled to hide them. How many times do DH’s ( or teens) become erect and feel required to cover up? Why ….  it’s pure physiology, it happens to each and every one of us (for generations past, present and future) yet always an embarrassing situation..why?  Why can’t our society accept this, respect it and not shun it??

            Queen bed Answered on November 1, 2019.
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              Do you think that the pressures of trimming and waxing feeds into this shame? Doesn’t that send a message that the way God created you isn’t good enough, and even downright unpleasurable to some?

              Under the stars Answered on November 1, 2019.

              As I said, in the modern era we have technology to shave so we do. Some don’t. Options in freedom are great!

              on April 13, 2020.
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                @SC I guess that’s why I’ve never really pressured my wife to shave or trim…I have a feeling that’s the reaction she would have.

                On the floor Answered on November 1, 2019.
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                  I’d not considering it this way before, but you’ve made a good point. While I do enjoy the code words, euphemisms and innuendo my wife and I use because they bring fun and spice to our life, it’s also at least in part due to this cultural discomfort.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 31, 2019.
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                    I don’t personally feel shame about my genitals, but I know people who do for sure. It’s time to get free!

                    California King Answered on November 1, 2019.
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                      however, I would add to this that I was made to feel shame about my genitals and their appearance when I was in high school. It took many years to get past that.

                      California King Answered on November 2, 2019.
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                        Re: Liverr

                        Could the difference be around whether it’s the individuals choice and desire?  I have heard the attitude of people shaming others of their choice on not to shave legs or armpits.    It is different for me to choose to do something because I desire to do so, versus feeling pressured to do so.  I would wager, if one looks deep enough and far enough back on our choice, there’s still a shadow of shame around it…including why a girl desires to start shaving legs and armpits.  Maybe it’s because we want to fit in so that we don’t feel shamed?

                        Under the stars Answered on November 3, 2019.
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