Gonna stop using the toy

    Well, it’s been a fun few weeks, but I think we are going to put the toy away for a while.   It’s been really fun to use, but in addition to the guilt I feel, I also don’t want my first O to be from a toy.

    We might revisit the toy again, but only when we feel that it is adding to our lovemaking and not distracting.

    Thank you for all of the advise and encouragement! 🙂

    Queen bed Asked on December 2, 2019 in Activities & Items .
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    9 Answer(s)

      As a husband, it wouldn’t bother me if my wife had an orgasm using a toy or if it was with me. I just like her to feel pleasure!

      California King Answered on December 3, 2019.

      Same

      on December 17, 2019.
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        We faced some of that same issue. However, if DH is using the toy on you, it’s not the toy, but your DH who helped you have the O.  My DW never had an O until we started using toys.  Manual stimulation does nothing for her. Why deprive her of that pleasure over some perceived guilt?

        For me, it’s on par with men using ED meds. If it enhances your marriage bed and pleasure, how can that “defile” the bed? Just my two cents.

        God bless.

        Queen bed Answered on December 3, 2019.
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          That’s probably a good idea. Hopefully your first O will come soon and that you both will feel really blessed!!

          Under the stars Answered on December 2, 2019.
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            Sounds like you’ve made a wise decision.

            Remember that there aren’t necessarily “right” or “wrong” answers, the important thing is for you and your husband to work through things together prayerfully whilst submitting to the rule of scripture.

            California King Answered on December 3, 2019.
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              I used to feel the same way about toys, then when we found one I felt like a kid, oh my now I always look for ones to help us. Dh will always ask where the toys are. Lol he says he loves them because he can save energy for his o and enjoy better. Plus he likes how I have multiple with them. Also I have learned so much with them on what I like and what isn’t so much pleasurable for me. So don’t feel guilty they aren’t replacement they enhance

              Double bed Answered on December 21, 2019.
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                That’s very kind and thoughtful. As a man, I can appreciate that thought. I’ll admit I get great pleasure and joy from giving my wife an O,  I definitely feel more masculine.  On the other hand, I also enjoy seeing her masterbating to going to an O.

                Fell out of ... Answered on December 3, 2019.
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                  If it hasn’t been suggested already, try getting yourself close with the toy, and then let your husband take you over the top.  My wife has use a toy for 31 of our 31 1/2 years of marriage.  I have no issues with her using it.  Without it, I’m sure she could get there, but it would be limited to one time.  With the toy, she averages 8 times.

                  Double bed Answered on December 3, 2019.
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                    How much can one use a toy without having an orgasm?

                    Queen bed Answered on December 3, 2019.

                    We started with a weak bullet vibe.  Did nothing for DW. We then bought a corded 2-speed vibe from Brooks and that helped her have her first O. That’s been a few years ago and it’s still one of her favorites.  In addition, we have an eroscillator, a couple of Satisfyers and a magic wand that are our go-to vibes. She has multiples with all of them. The Satisfyers are primo!

                    on December 3, 2019.

                    My wife has all those except the Satisfyer, she doesn’t like the sucking part, she says it actually hurts. But the others, she loves!

                    on December 4, 2019.
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                      Thank you for all of the comments and suggestions 🙂

                      The other reason I want to take a break from the toy is because of how I was “craving” it, for lack of a better word.  I used it several times when hubby wasn’t home, and that added to my guilt.  I found myself reacting to it in ways I never had when DH and I made love.   I would sweat and move more and became vocal.  I ended up crying a few times after using it, I felt so guilty.

                      Queen bed Answered on December 21, 2019.

                      In my view your problem is guilt. Not too much pleasure from your toy. Guilt is a negative emotion, work on understanding you have no reason to feel guilty for enjoying.

                      on December 22, 2019.
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