Great in Life, Not so Great in the Bedroom
The QOTD sent me down this thought trail….
What are things you do or attitudes you have, whether it’s around your personality, habits, etc, that may be good in everyday life, but when it transfers into the bedroom, it may not be the best approach? How does it affect things?
For example, I like to be efficient. I like to do things in the easiest, quickest, &/or most prudent ways…that’s from cooking to driving to even talking (e.g. short and to the point.) 😀 I also tend to transfer that into the bedroom. It’s hard for me to slow down to just enjoy different things. It’s hard to experiment, unless that is the goal I know of ahead of time, because it feels like we are wasting time and effort to get to end goal… and you know, I have it efficiently down to an art 😉
My preference is to be methodical, organized, prioritized and one who executes a plan. But I have learned that my ways do not result in the best experiences for my family. My wife is not that way and while she will put up with my leadership in some things like camping and factions of house order, and other leadership areas, it is she and the kids who preferred a relaxed and experience oriented preference of events. This is true in the bedroom, where the best way to her heart is to back off my preferences. And I have learned that encouraging her by doing for her those things that are comfortable for her is what I ultimately enjoy the best anyway.
I know exactly where both SC and STG are coming from. I am also efficient, organized, a list maker, and not a wasted move. DH does make lists, as well. The problem lies in him not wanting to have a schedule or a plan. He likes spontaneous. I don’t! But the time comes and he doesn’t know what to do ( says he can’t think fast and isn’t creative!) or doesn’t get around to it. Than he thinks I’m too scheduled and not flexible enough. But we are working on it and seeing improvement.
My DW tends to be that way as well. In her work she has to be very methodical and by the book. She says she isn’t creative, but on occasion she surprises me with some creative flare. She doesn’t like to go into a store and just browse (although it’s different with antiques or yarn for knitting). She is a hunter, knowing what she wants goes in and gets out. If we are in the throws of LM and it goes on too long she will lose any momentum for reaching an O. While I tend to aim toward organization on the whole outside the MB I’m not structured when it comes to the bedroom. The time may be scheduled in terms of the night we engage in intercourse, but there’s no time limit on how long foreplay will last before we move on to the main course.
I’m the same as you but more because i’m a bit OCD so i tend to rush things and get uptight. Also i’m trying to overcome the “don’t get into my space” reaction as it was extremely violated as a child. Thankfully my husband understand that but i tend to throw walls up and that doesn’t translate well in the bedroom but i’ve certainly been working on it
I like to joke and try to make my wife laugh.
I don’t really make people laugh just talking naturally.
My specialty is to volley a sex-related punchline that slays everyone, but it makes my wife so embarrassed.
That does NOT translate well with her in the bedroom just the two of us AT ALL!!!