Grinding?

    I see people talking about grinding.  Can someone explain both what it is and what the benefit is.  Is it similar to rubbing against someone. 

    I think I saw someone use it in reference to during missionary PIV, DH moving vertically up and down (towards face/then towards feet) instead of thrusting in and out.  If this is the case, maybe I need a better explanation of the mechanics because I tried that and it didn’t seem to work.  Do I physically lift my whole body so I can move towards her head?  Is the penis supposed to stay inside or come out?

    Also, what is the benefits of this during missionary PIV?  Is it supposed to rub her clitoris more? 

    Thanks! 

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    5 Answer(s)

      Our grinding tends to go in a circular motion, or he might do like a sway back and forth, there’s no lifting up away from the body.

      Yes, the clitoris can be stimulated that way, but for us, when my husband does it, it is when he is stimulating around the cervix, or what some call the “cul de sac” and the A-spot.

      ETA for clarification: after reading the OP again, it sounds like he is describing whole body movement, the grinding I describe is basically just his hips moving.

      Under the stars Answered on October 16, 2019.

      Is this when you are on top or he is?  I know what the cervix is, but what are the cul de sac and the A spot?

      on October 16, 2019.

      He’s on top. WOT doesn’t work well for me, “What’s being named the cul-de-sac is the area at the back of the vagina, behind the cervix.” The A-spot is the anterior side of the cervix.

      Because of your other thread, this would probably be an area that would have to be explored by your husband’s fingers or a toy.

      on October 16, 2019.

      Because I am tall?  I have kind of wondered if that meant My cervix might be higher up towards my belly.

      on October 16, 2019.

      The best way to know how he can find your cervix is for you to find it yourself. Get comfortable and relaxed. Use a lot of lube, and a glove if that makes you feel more comfortable, and gently put your fingers up inside yourself to find all your parts. The top should feel like the end of a tunnel with a bump filling the end and creating pockets around it. The center of the bump will have a tight, puckered opening. DO NOT try to penetrate the cervix. That would be painful and dangerous.

      After you are familiar with your own architecture, let him do the same (always stressing gently) so that he is familiar with it and will have a mental “map” for his penis to follow. And have fun, both with your own exploring and with his! Our bodies were made for delight!

      Also, the height of the cervix varies during your monthly cycle, so sometimes it might be much higher than others.

      on October 17, 2019.

      We found my A-spot sort of accidentally a while after we were married.  During oral, my DH was also using a fairly long glass dildo and we “discovered” this special spot and the incredible sensations it created.  Since then, we’ve gotten pretty good at finding it during PIV.  Because of my husband’s shape, it is easier for us in face-to-face positions rather than rear entry positions.

      Hope this helps . . .

      on October 17, 2019.

      @ Samantha, I don’t think height has much influence on the length of the vagina. You describe your husband’s penis as being probably about 3 inches when erect, whereas average is probably more like 6 inches. If the average vagina can accommodate the average penis, then that would suggest your vagina is likely at least six inches long and therefore your husband’s penis is likely too short to be able to reach your cervix.

      on October 17, 2019.

      Oh.  But I thought I read that any size penis should be able to make any sized vagina orgasm.  There must be way to get it to reach, right? :/

      on October 17, 2019.

      You’re conflating achieving orgasm with stimulating a specific region inside the vagina. Generally, the highest density of nerve endings (and hence greatest sensitivity) is in the two or three inches closest to the vaginal opening, so a penis of three inches or so can stimulate this region, and should be able to produce orgasm, especially if there is also clitoral stimulation.

      However, if a spot is further from the vaginal opening than the length of the penis, then it’s fairly clear that it won’t be able to stimulate that specific spot.  Fingers or toys may be able to, given that they’ll be longer.

      on October 18, 2019.
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        We grind in the missionary position. In our younger years, we perfected it quite well. Done well, it can bring your DW to a strong clitoral climax. Our technique involved me bridging, or rather bracing on my knees and elbows, and Mrs. Youngbear controlling the pressure and grinding. I learned how to move with her to give her the most pleasurable stimulation. Since she knows the pace, pressure, and place on her clitoris, it’s optimal for her to be in control. What made it easy for Mrs. Youngbear was her experience and skill to solo masturbate her clitoris to orgasm. Hope this helps!

        Fell out of ... Answered on October 16, 2019.
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          Grinding is how my wife used to orgasm. Not in and out sex, but grinding her pelvic region against mine, her clit was against the base of my penis and she was rubbing it. While she enjoyed it a lot, it can cause bladder infections too.

          King bed Answered on October 17, 2019.

          Why/how will it cause bladder infections?

          on October 17, 2019.

          The urethra can get bruised. We did the very same thing before we learned to use toys. We always did WOT and I would do just as Ron said–it was kind of like a hot dog in a bun, his penis in my labia, but my clit had full contact with him at all times. We did this until I was ready to climax and if we timed it just right, sometimes I could slip him inside at the last minute and we would come together. If I had a hard time “getting there”, however, the whole area would sometimes get irritated and cause UTI.

          I didn’t know about peeing after sex then, though, so that might have prevented any problems.

          on October 17, 2019.

          Thanks! An Oldbear learned something new!

          on October 17, 2019.
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            Grinding for us is more for me while thrusting is more for my DH.  He won’t orgasm from grinding alone.  Depending on the position, grinding does one of two things, or both.  Deep penetration grinding, especially in WOT positions but can occur in missionary too,  gives great A-spot stimulation.  And if my clitoris is against my HD’s pubic bone, clitoris stimulation is awesome.  Grinding is usually me rocking or rotating my hips but my DH can do it too.

            Fell out of ... Answered on October 17, 2019.
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              right. for us, grinding is just me shifting positions slightly until I’m “riding high” on her during missionary. Her clit is large enough that it contacts my shaft directly in that position, so this usually results in a fairly rapid orgasm or multiple orgasms for her. Depending on how close I am, I’ll then thrust all the way inside her for the big finish together, or we’ll finish separately, with her going first.

              California King Answered on November 2, 2019.
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