There have been a couple comments I’ve heard/read lately that has me thinking again.
On the boards Newwifenewlife wrote “…how I deal with noticing an attractive women and when I’m out and see too many bouncing chests, it drives my thoughts and literally myself home to my wife!!!”
Followed by a comment about “Miss Cleavage” at the front desk of my gym.
Question: GYM ATTIRE
So I see men wearing shorts/sweats & shirts of all versions, etc. With most men being rectangles, this works for their body shape. There doesn’t seem to be a struggle with what to wear.
For women there are issues of trying to be comfortable and able to move freely, yet not too revealing or drowning in too much extra fabric.
Personally when I started working out I was in a baggy t-shirt that covered everything & looser fitting yoga pants that gave really no hint to any shape. As I’ve continued I have found that clothing needs to be more fitting so that personal trainers can watch for good form. My confidence has improved to the point that I now wear sleeveless shirts on arm days, mostly so that I have free range of motion but also because I find it motivating to watch the muscles move while lifting. My top still covers all cleavage but is more body fitting so I don’t have to worry about it flipping up past my waist.
This brings me to the question about what goes on the bottom half. Loose fabric in general can be caught in weights as well as bunching awkwardly, limiting movement. Basketball shorts can ride up too high or drape open while doing certain exercises (legs up). Leggings seem to solve those problems (I’m talking about thicker fabric that is squat proof), but I’m wondering if this causes a problem for others that I should be concerned about or if it is a problem then they need to deal with it.
Hopefully I’ve made myself clear. Any thoughts?
I just think the church as a whole needs to take a whole different approach to this. If I am dressing to attract sexual attention, that is my issue and I need to deal with it. If a man is lusting after a woman, that is his issue and he needs to deal with it. We live in a world of unbelievers, you are never going to police what every man or woman is wearing.
I realize I am not a man and don’t understand the struggle personally, but my husband and I have talked about this a lot, and this is where he has landed, it’s on him to control his thoughts. We love to travel internationally and many of the beaches we have been to are not filled with modest dressed men or women. It is up to us to control our thoughts.
When I practice yoga, I am going to wear yoga clothes. It is necessary for the instructor to see what is happening with alignment. As I mentioned on another post it is not immodest for a ballerina to wear tights and leotard; it is appropriate for what she is doing…same with male ballerinas.
I truly believe this policing of women, their bodies and what they are wearing is feeding into the sexual issues Christian women are having. You are the problem, you must cover yourself, you are causing sin, you must shut down your sexuality….
I am finally at a place in my life I refuse to let this be put on me. I don’t believe it was Christ’s intention for women. I also will not do this to another woman. If a man has lust issues, and he wants to indulge in them, there is plenty of ways for him to do so. My wearing baggy pants to the gym is not going to rescue him from his lust issues.
Beccaloo, I feel modesty is a key. It is a delicate balance. You are not responsible for me. I am responsible for me. At the same time, as Christians we are responsible to care for one another, being sensitive to others and not “causing them to stumble” along with Gal. Again, it’s a delicate balance and I believe modesty is a key. Define that? That’s a discussion that we’re continually having in our household. DW realizes that all the “cute” she dressed the girls in earlier in life, coupled with the pressure of looking attractive and wanting boys to notice them, the sexualization of kids and culture has made for some interesting situations and discussions in our household with my DW and stepdaughters. It’s hard for me to put my foot down because I haven’t raised them BUT there have been a few times where I’ve stepped in and said “no”. They’ve never thought about things I’ve heard teens and men say over the years.
The stepdaughters are athletes and like to wear the “high & tight” “runner/VBall” shorts (runner, BBall, VBall and just because stuff). At times it gets “cheeky” and DW steps in and says “no more” and otherwise it gets real awkward. I usually have a say in bathing suits and dresses, whether we’re buying or not. After having all athletic boys, it’s definitely a change.
Getting back to your original question, I believe it’s a balance between modesty, function and comfort. Where that falls I believe is between you and God and your husband.
Good question, and I’m not sure there’s necessarily a unique correct answer.
In the situation you describe, you’re wearing tight fitting leggings because there isn’t a practical alternative. You’re not deliberately trying to flaunt your body or enticing anyone to lust, so I don’t really see a problem with it. If it causes a problem for others, then in this situation I think it’s their responsibility to deal with it.
I wear a t-shirt and shorts when I bike at Planet Fitness. And, don’t think twice if someone is checking out my legs LOL.
Leggings seem to solve those problems (I’m talking about thicker fabric that is squat proof), but I’m wondering if this causes a problem for others that I should be concerned about or if it is a problem then they need to deal with it.
I feel bad for women. Can’t you just wear what is comfortable and makes you feel good?! Should you really have to worry about men ogling you all the time? But, leggings are sexy and I do notice them. I try to not look twice and focus on my workout instead. Is that what you were looking for in an answer? Feel free to ask additional questions if you want….
@GG – “Can’t you just wear what is comfortable and makes you feel good?!” I think it may be different for women. I feel like I’m always being reminded that if I’m too sexy I’m responsible for others lustful thoughts. I haven’t had a problem with men ogling me, but I have started taking my teen daughter & while following her somewhere I’ve noticed eyes check her out. I didn’t find them disrespectful since they didn’t stare, but I want to be able to either correct an error in our attire or give her confidence that it’s ok to be proud of being healthy and fit.
Edit: I have asked my DH if I look ok to go to the gym & he says yes, but I wonder if it’s also that he’s proud of my progress. He also lives by a “who cares what others think about what you do?! You need to live your own life.” point of view and tells me not to worry about what others think but to think for myself.
Well, yeah, this is my point.
I feel like I’m always being reminded that if I’m too sexy I’m responsible for others lustful thoughts.
I think you should not have to think twice about this. That was my point in asking the question. I mean, as I said, I put on a T-shirt and shorts and don’t think twice about it. I did have girls in college tell me my legs as a soccer player were very sexy, but again, I never make apparel choices based on the opposite sex. Neither should women folk. But, I do understand the other side of the issue being that I am a male.
Agree that you are in an environment (the gym) where your attire options are limited and HAVE to be functional. As long as you aren’t being intentionally provocative, the onus is on the oglers to not look.
I live in an area with a lot of outdoor exercisers, and I have never felt that any women who were actively exercising were in the wrong by wearing so little, even when they were shirtless (I myself am usually shirtless by 60 F and certainly don’t want to be hypocritical). Heck, I am much more likely to consider a runner overdressed rather than underdressed! That said, two things: (1) just because they are appropriately dressed for what they are doing doesn’t mean I don’t struggle to avoid looking, and (2) that type of attire isn’t appropriate everywhere, so changing clothes or putting something on top of the gym clothes afterwards is a reasonable expectation. I would say that equally to both sexes.
That said, is it possible to find a pair of “short shorts” that can go over the leggings? I know plenty of runners that do that in the winter, but running is different from lifting.
At the gym I don’t wear tight shorts. I usually wear UA or Nike or Adidas tops that are somewhat fitted. I have tighter tops that emphasize my shoulders, biceps, pecs and lats. Many of the young studs are wearing long shorts and baggy shirts or jerseys. Other men wear a whole range of things. I don’t recall ever seeing guys wear things that would indicate they are intentionally seeking the attention of females.
Many of the ladies wear leggings or yoga pants. (Our gym also has a separate room for women only. Never seen what they wear there.) It tends to be the case that the better shape they are in, the more likely they are to wear tight clothing top and bottom. One regular lady, after she has warmed up, likes to strip down to her sports bra and very tight shorts. We are all used to that and don’t take note. Another lady seems to feel she needs to show cleavage frequently. But not excessive. I wouldn’t know if she is trying to be sexy or that is just what she likes to wear. Generally, I would say very few try to dress provocatively. Most are there to work out and get on with other things.
In the last 10 years, I can think of three ladies that seemed to take interest in me. Not sure if it was what I was wearing or my good looks. LOL!
Unless it was my physique?! 😉
I used to go to a fairly large gym. I would say 80% of the women wore tight leggings or yoga pants and a tighter shirt. Honestly, most guys were there to work out and didn’t pay much attention to it.
But then some women wore tight clothes, didn’t workout much and came there to flirt. It was pretty obvious. But people that actually worked out, guys didn’t pay them much attention.
I avoid this by not going to the gym. 😉 😆
I have two family members, my husband and a son, who are into weightlifting as exercise. From everything I gather, they’re so laser focused on themselves and checking out their own physique and muscles, that even if they notice a female, they certainly aren’t focusing on her. They would have more of an issue of checking out other men and comparing their muscles with their own. 🙄