Has the “quarantining” helped or hindered your sexual relationship? How?

I am guessing that most of us around the world are facing some form of quarantine or social distancing guidelines. 

How has it affected your marriage and marriage bed?  

What are things you are thankful for? What are your struggles?

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28 Answer(s)

    It hasn’t affected it at all. Only huge health issues are 🙁

    On the floor Answered on March 29, 2020.
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      Thankful to be home with family, not struggling so much except that many of the usual things you do you can’t do anymore.  I went for supplies/groceries again this morning thinking it would be good to be able to stay in for awhile as this thing rolls through.  It is nice to have more family time, so that is a plus just to have more time to spend, especially just sitting with DW.

      Fell out of ... Answered on March 29, 2020.
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        My wife said she felt like the Lord wanted her to do an extended fast, 21 days (one meal usually), and she doesn’t like to have sex while fasting.  I didn’t want to hinder her intercessory prayer ministry.  She’ll be praying about stuff going on.

        COVID crisis has not been sexy time for us.

        Hammock Answered on April 4, 2020.
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          I think overall so far it has hurt us….both teenagers are always here and that has made things trickier. We used to have sex pretty regularly on the three times every week both kids were gone.

          Early morning sex is still an option, but it is much harder for me to get in the mood in the morning.

          Also, it seems to be bringing up some tougher sexual topics for us, and while yes, we need to keep working through them to get to a better place, right now we are feeling much more tension.

          Fell out of ... Answered on April 4, 2020.
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            A bit late to this question but I’ve really been struggling. I’m often thinking about at-risk relatives and wondering how all of this is going to pan out. I already homeschool but the kids have still gotten really restless from not being able to leave the house much. My DH on the other hand seems carefree, and working from home seems to have put sex on his mind a lot more, maybe because I’m nearby all day. I’m worried I’m hurting him because I’m not on the same level as him desire-wise. I feel a little overwhelmed by him along with all that’s going on and am not sure what to do about it.

            Queen bed Answered on April 9, 2020.
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              TBH, it’s not been good. At first, we avoided sex to preventing infecting each other in case we were asymptomatic carriers. I’m not as concerned about that now, since it’s been a few weeks and since if either of us was a carrier it’s very unlikely we wouldn’t infect the other, sex or not. But I’ve found my interest in sex has dropped considerably. I want to want it, but I just am not feeling it. I think the main reason I feel this way is because my libido strongly coincides with feeling like I’m generally thriving in life rather than just surviving. I’m the sort of person who likes—actually kind of needs—colorful things and unique things and new experiences. I want to feel like my wife and I have a sexual and romantic relationship, not just having sex because it’s something to do but going on dates and dressing up for each other and being playful with each other. For me, a marriage that is almost exclusively defined by watching movies and TV together at home and eating together at home zaps my sexual energy. Don’t get me wrong—I actually love eating together and watching TV and movies together at home with my wife. But when that is all married life is (well, that and spending lots and lots of time with our wonderful, sweet 7 yr old daughter), I end up feel uninspired. I do think I need to talk this through with my DW soon since I do want her to feel loved and get the best sex I can give her. And I want good sex myself. I think I can overcome the fact that this period of time is so restricting (i.e., no chance for any sort of real date) if only I can gain a sense of hope that when this is all over that my DW will want to actually do things other than eat meals at home and watch things on our TV. She has always been someone much more content than I to do just that. Before sheltering-in-place started, I felt like we had some momentum going where we were thinking outside the box more as a couple and to me it’s felt like all that momentum abruptly stopped.

              Queen bed Answered on April 12, 2020.
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                I was talking to DW this morning about our sex life and relationship and kids and DW said, her hormones are just flatlined right now. It’s not that she can’t have an orgasm (she can) or that we have continued our 21 challenge (which we’ll be extending as this continues to May),  it’s just that she, and therefore, we, can’t expect her to just have complete, “abandon/hang from the chandelier/shout it from the rafters” sex. Is it hormones? Stress from blending a family and her teen girls that are pushing back? Or just the fact that this situation is uncalled for and hurting so many people and that our state took a “chainsaw instead of a scalpel” approach and the fallout of deaths from abuse, addiction and suicide will be greater than what the virus’ official tally is 2-5 yrs from now.

                DW has made a choice to love, honor and serve me (and therefore us) sexually just like I’ve made a choice to do the same for her (and therefore OUR) emotional and spiritual needs as a couple.

                 

                Under the stars Answered on April 13, 2020.
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                  At this point, we have been more hindered. This has actually put more stress and work on my husband, so he has been putting in a lot more hours and even pulling some late nighters or all nighters at the office.

                  We did have a talk this morning, and I shared how it has set me back a little sexually. Because of all the uncertainty around us, it makes me need the security of the tried and true comforting encounters, rather than the more explorative and adventurous types.

                  As an introvert, I actually appreciate the cancellation of things and getting to stay home 🙂 Of course I live with “a small gathering” so I get plenty of interaction with others…so much so, I choose to self-quarantine in my bedroom at times. 😆

                  Under the stars Answered on March 28, 2020.
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                    Not really different. I was still working normally until a couple days ago, then I worked from home. I actually went into work yesterday when an essential person was out ill.

                    Zelda is a homeschooling mom. The way it works out, the only differences for us come on Sundays and Mondays.

                    However, I’ll likely be working from home all week next week. I’m really hoping to have some lunch/afternoon delight during my lunch breaks a couple days. We both love the afternoon and its natural lighting, but weekends just don’t work out for us often.

                    -Scott

                    Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on March 28, 2020.

                    Nap time for the kids!

                    on March 28, 2020.
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                      I’m taking this thing seriously and planning for the worst, so I’m preoccupied. My wife is stressed out of her mind with the kids being home from school. Ultimately God is in control, but this thing is NOT any sort of blessing.

                      Queen bed Answered on March 29, 2020.
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