Have you had sex when you are in grief

    Have you had sex when you are in grief

    This happened few years back. Lost my dad suddenly and had to leave for funeral without wife and kids as he was far away. I came back home after few days , That night all I wanted was to have sex with my wife. We had good PIV sex and oral sex that night, I woke up in the morning with more sex. There was a deep connection when I entered my wife.

    Has anyone experienced this?

    Queen bed Asked on July 24, 2020 in MARRIED SEX.
    Add Comment
    15 Answer(s)

      When we lost our daughter at 21 weeks, we didn’t have sex since DW had just delivered her, but when we got home from the hospital, we both got into the shower together and held each other completely naked while the water ran off our bodies. It was a very emotional time and helped us connect and grieve together.  It communicated our pain to each other without using any words.

      Hammock Answered on July 24, 2020.

      ah… 🙁  this makes me feel that grief with you.

      on July 24, 2020.
      Add Comment

        @TOP:

        I also desire sex in times of stress, but I think the source/need during normal stress vs. grief is different.

        For “normal stress”, sex is for well, stress relief. 🙂 🙄 It’s no different from recess or a trip to the park for my kids. Honestly, masturbation to orgasm would largely fill that need. But with deep grief, there was this longing for oneness and closeness that I don’t believe masturbation would ever achieve. In fact, doing something like what @intrepides96 would be more fulfilling than a masturbation O in those cases. That’s not to say a masturbation O without the intimate connection would not help in a grief situation, but it would be much less effective.

        -Scott

        Under the stars Answered on July 24, 2020.
        Add Comment

          Yes, but my grief hasn’t been a death of a person, but other losses.  There’s something comforting about having the “oneness” you can only get through that becoming one flesh experience.

          Under the stars Answered on July 24, 2020.
          Add Comment

            I have done this after a death in the family, needed to feel close to someone. But for my wife, if the loss were on her side of the family, she would say she felt guilty having sex or something and there would be no sex for a while.

            On the floor Answered on July 25, 2020.
            Add Comment

              Yes, I have found this to be true, exactly my experience!

              Twin bed Answered on July 24, 2020.
              Add Comment

                Absolutely.

                I would go as far as saying that sex while grieving the sudden death of my mother (just a couple days after her death) was the most emotionally intimate and heartfelt sex I have ever had. I had a deep longing for the comfort and closeness of it, and it wasn’t even physically driven. It was further amplified by my DW being pregnant with our first but not having told anyone yet. I don’t remember if I was crying during the act or just afterwards.

                At the time, it really threw me for a loop because I still viewed sex as mostly a physical thing. It took me nearly an extra decade to really get a better understanding of what sex really is.

                -Scott

                Under the stars Answered on July 24, 2020.
                Add Comment

                  . My wife thought my appetite for sex would diminish because of loss.

                  Queen bed Answered on July 24, 2020.

                  That’s probably because that’s her own experience, and we tend to believe others are experiencing what we experience.

                  on July 24, 2020.
                  Add Comment

                    I crave sex when I am stressed or sad for the reasons others have mentioned, the connection is comforting but dh tends to be the opposite, its the last thing on his mind in those times.

                    On the floor Answered on July 24, 2020.
                    Add Comment

                      Yes. And I had feared there was something weird about the fact that it was some of the best we had had up to that time. Thank you for asking this question and for all the answers that reassure me on that.

                      Under the stars Answered on July 24, 2020.
                      Add Comment

                        No. I have really wanted to, though, but my wife is not in the mood at all at such times… So, no such comfort sex, unfortunately, but I believe it’s a very, very good thing if it was possible…

                        Hammock Answered on July 24, 2020.
                        Add Comment

                        Your Answer

                        By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.