Hello and Thank You

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    Hello Group!  I just wanted to say HI and say thanks for even having such a place.  I am a 54 year old Momma, married coming on 33 years.  I could probably write about 10 pages of an introduction, but I will try to keep it short-ish.

    Much of my marriage has been spent in putting off my husband’s desires for very frequent sex.  While pre-marriage it was all about hot sex and trying to curb it because we are both believers, after marriage, things went down hill completely!  And I know it is MY fault completely.

    Now, I want to change things.  I only hope and pray that it’s not too late.  My dear dear  husband deserves more!  I am not exactly sure where to start.  I literally have NO libido, so this might be hard.  Part of me would be perfectly happy to never have sex again….but I know that’s wrong for our marriage.

    Can someone point me in a direction to find posts on how to begin this turn-around?

    Thanks!

     

     

    Twin bed Asked on January 25, 2020 in Introduce Yourself.
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      Welcome! I can feel the ache with you and anticipation for you!

      A good resource and a place to start is at The Forgiven Wife. Her whole blog is aimed towards wives like you. That was what God used in my own conviction and change.

      Also, if you have no libido, it might be good to consider seeing a bhrt doctor.  Trust me, having balanced hormones will help living out your heart easier.

      The good thing about here, is it is a place you can get others perspectives, husbands and wives.  Reading and talking about the marriage bed is a good way at keeping sex and your desire for change at the forefront of your mind, which we wives need 🙂  These forums (well, the old TMB forums), and the people from them, were a HUGE part in my transformation, it helped in the renewing of my mind.

      Under the stars Answered on January 25, 2020.
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        Welcome! We’re happy to have you here, and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of resources. I think that coming to the realization that you want to change is already such a powerful step.

        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 25, 2020.
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          Welcome and blessings to you.  I would suggest you sit down with your DH and make a schedule for intimacy.  Write it down on a calendar as a date and time.  Approach your journey one day at a time.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 25, 2020.
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            Welcome! Already, I see that several wise and kind folks have provided you with ideas and advice on your first Question thread. May you be blessed on TMB!

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 25, 2020.
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              Welcome. It’s never too late to start and invest in your marriage.

              There are definitely some people here who’ll you’ll be able to relate to. Also, do a search under refusers/gatekeepers for older threads and comments.

              Under the stars Answered on January 26, 2020.
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                Welcome!  I pray that the change you are looking for will come and you will be blessed by it!

                Fell out of ... Answered on January 26, 2020.
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                  Welcome! And good for you for coming to this place of wanting to change. Prayers for your journey, that you find just the right help that speaks to you most effectively and that your DH would be supportive and tender with you as you do this new thing. Blessings!

                  Under the stars Answered on January 26, 2020.
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                    You no longer enjoy sex since marriage? That seems common but I never understand why it happens.

                    Double bed Answered on January 26, 2020.

                    SecondMarge, In another post, you said women don’t have as much desire as men, they don’t like giving blow jobs, and that men don’t know how to pleasure women. Sounds like you do understand why it happens.

                    on January 26, 2020.

                    Second Marge — I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy sex…I actually DO enjoy it once it gets started.  I have trouble wanting it/desiring it/initiating it.

                    And there have been too many times when I have said “not tonight I have a headache” over the years.

                    ~t~

                    on January 26, 2020.
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