Hello, returning , and realized I never introduced myself

    I lurked for a couple of years before ever commenting on TMB. I actually introduced myself the very last day (perhaps the very final post) on the old TMB website. I actually just combed this section thinking I’d find my intro. Now I feel awkward that I posted and responded in the past without ever having given a proper introduction. 

    My bride and I have been married just under 10 years now.  I have the HD and the first few years of our marriage were intensely difficult for me as an affectionate man with a love language of touch. We went a few consecutive years with having sex only 1x every 6-8 weeks. Therefore, when I first joined TMB, I often came around during times of prolonged dry spells.

    I strive to honor my bride in all instances. I will say that I  taken seriously the work of pressing on through rejection and have seen some growth in both me and my wife over the last 2 years. After years of feeling rejected, I now do my best to verbalize and make my expectations known. 

    God’s grace is for us all, and it’s effects and work to heal can be instant, though it may take some of us a lifetime to understand its impact and reach into all areas of life. Marriage is the breeding ground and hot bed in which we get to see the daily practice of grace take shape (puns intended). I feel blessed to be here. 

    Queen bed Asked on September 21, 2020 in Introduce Yourself.
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      PS. Not sure if that pun was a stretch or not 😉 oh well!

      Queen bed Answered on September 21, 2020.
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        I am glad you are back again! I just saw an old post come up and saw your name, and had wondered what had happened to you. Now I know, and what a blessing to get an answer in such a timely manner!

        Also, don’t feel bad about the whole lack of introduction thing…. there are a few regular posters who never did get around to it. 😀

        Under the stars Answered on September 21, 2020.

        You know, those “regular posters” could still surprise you with an Intro some day.

        -Scott

        on September 22, 2020.

        You and Duchess were ones I had in mind…. I didn’t have NWNL in mind, but maybe it’s because he never pointed out that he hadn’t done it, unlike you and Duchess. 🙂  Now his info will forever be there too 😉

        on September 22, 2020.

        I have my doubts whether I ever did an intro. I might have on the old board under a different name.

        on September 22, 2020.

        Is there anything left that you all don’t know about me? Lol! I feel like at one point or another I have laid out my whole entire history here! 😀

        on September 24, 2020.
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          You said you are HD but to go 6 weeks or longer means you have a high toleration to sex-starvation.  To me, you have a high(er) drive than hers. What reason would she have to limit you? Health, kids, job, anger, past trauma or just Low drive? Which means she just doesn’t care for sex. No interest.

          California King Answered on September 21, 2020.

          I don’t know how high my tolerance is, but life must go on. I’m sure I’ve addressed it in threads in the past, but this is where I’m at these days, by the grace of God.

          You may be right that I am not a real HD person, but instead just have the higher drive in my marriage. We discussed sex and intimacy before getting married, including the topic  of frequency. We didn’t have sex or even OS with each other before marriage, but we did allow things to get hot and heavy at times, which led us to believe we were very sexually compatible. I’d still argue that we are sexually compatible, when we get to that point. DW will O the majority of the time. It’s the  emotional ramping up that has proven difficult for her.

          I will say, as the years have increased and our expectations have shifted (not just mine, but my bride’s as well) and the time between has gotten easier. As long as the time doesn’t span beyond 3 weeks. I will say that it has increased over the past year and conversations have gotten much better.

          My DW works FT, we have 2 kids, the topic of sexuality as a young person was suppressed/ignored in her family of origin. And it wasn’t until after we were in our first year of marriage when we discussed for the first time a moment of trauma that happened to her early on in childhood from a trusted peer.

          on September 22, 2020.

          Hmm, brief trauma is still trauma. As I mentioned in another post, Kevin Lehman once said that women who suffer from trauma do not marry to have sex but instead marry so they don’t have to have sex. Its hard to share this so I get it. IF she is affected by this, then you need to discuss it.

          on September 22, 2020.

          I agree, whether it happened 1x or multiple times over the span of years, trauma can and will injure the spirit of the victim.

          We have discussed and will continue to discuss throughout the course of our marriage. Healing can take time and everyone’s journey is different, but we work through it together and strive for oneness in unity.

          on September 23, 2020.
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            Welcome aboard.

            I am probably one of those SC is referring to not posting an intro. I did on the old board but that intro was 15-16 yrs ago under a different name…with a different wife…in a definitely different life and marriage. God’s plan for the family to be a microcosm of the Gospel and an incubator of His Grace, forgiveness and developmental place of holiness is so true!

            Under the stars Answered on September 22, 2020.
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              Welcome! Glad you are with us! May your MB be blessed!

              Under the stars Answered on September 22, 2020.
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                Welcome!

                Under the stars Answered on September 22, 2020.
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                  Welcome friend.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on September 22, 2020.
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                    Welcome! It sounds as though your moniker is well chosen. We have heard many stories of healing and sexual awakening; I pray that your wife will soon be one of them and that you both will both want and choose frequent and passionate lovemaking.

                    Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2020.
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