Here’s a question for the masses!
What was a successful way to get rid of lust and porn in your life? (Porn/lust that hurt you and that you needed to change).
- Recognize you are not alone in your pursuit of what is right and true in seeking while being required to walk away from pron, (1 Thess. 4:3; Eph. 6:2). We are in this fight together. Our common flesh makes us vulnerable. No man is an island. No man is perfect and powerful in this righteous pursuit without the Lord (Eph. 5:18).
- Recognize that others more significant in many than you or I have fallen in horrid ways (2 Sam. 11). Such may and likely will be our consequence if we will not yield and change to the will of God.
- Teach yourself, convince yourself, then remind yourself hundreds of times in you week that its not real. Teach yourself to live in the reality of God’s presence through sexual expression with your wife. Porn is not real in relation to what God has given. God through marriage has given the real thing to be enjoyed, protected and cherished. The deception of airbrush, silk screen, scripted sexual scenes, perfect lighting, trained and toned bodies, perfect smiles, glimmering eyes, infectious lure of the deadly trap is only meant to kill, (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Thess. 4:3).
- Memorize the promises of God’s word.
- Study those truth’s.
- Meditate on those truths.
- Act on those truths
- Pray for direction and insight to your daily dilemmas.
- Read good books on the subject.
- Seek spiritual support, encouragement, love, respect, fellowship in your pursuit of holiness within your marriage.
I was introduced to porn at a very young age. After 2 decades of porn, masterbation and fantasies, my sexual response was really messed up! I didn’t realize it until I got married. Once I saw that, I went straight to the Father and He took me on the journey of mind renewal – He taught me His intention for sex. I learned so many new things it really astounded me! Porn sucks and has devastating consequences.
God lead me to several Christian sex blogs – thats where I got the new (and mostly correct) info. Putting it into practice has been very uncomfortable and, many times I wanted to say “just forget it, this is to difficult”. After a while I started seeing changes in my sexual response. That was encouraging and kept me going. I also did it because of my patient and understanding husband.
So, my answer to your question would be go to God and ask for help. He is SO faithful and longs for you to be free from porn/last. He will show you where to immerse your mind to get truth – and, that truth will set you free. Wish I had an easier answer for you but, I don’t. It takes work and effort. Do not rely on your own strength and wisdom.
Hang in there and don’t give up. You can be successful.
SMCF’s response is right on. I’m going to add some additional tools God has used to help me.
Find an accountability partner. And a good one. Mine has, in the past texted or called me when I failed to follow up. He’s asked me really tough questions. But sharing this struggle with someone is a vital way God addresses it.
Find ways to “lock and throw away the keys.” I use (or have used) many of the following:
- If you’re tech-savy, put a DNS filter (such as OpenDNS) on your router and give your accountability partner the password. I’ve even used their email address so I can’t do the old “forgot my password” trick.
- If you’re not as tech-savy, you can download programs like ColdTurkey and block Adult websites for a month or something like that (you’ll have to repeat that process to continually block it, but it’s good because it works across multiple browsers and won’t give you any access.)
- xBlock for your iPhone or iPad (not sure if it’s on Android.) Again, password protect it and give it to your accountability partner.
- You can even use something like CovenantEyes (I personally haven’t, but I know it’s good and their program 40 Days to Overcome is excellent.)
Again, hope these help. And as was mentioned above, the only way you can truly defeat this is if you plunge even more in to your love for God. All our hearts are idol factories – porn is a big one, but it can easily be replaced with many other idols. Instead, focus on the root of the problem (our sin) and how the love of God has overcome that.