How do you learn to O with a vibrator?

    Many years ago I visited this site and it was the saving grace of our sex life! I had not been able to climax for seven years of marriage. We tried counseling, I talked to my GYN, tried all kinds of positions to no avail. I was afraid of introducing “accessories”. After 7 years and reading on this site I decided it was worth a shot. I found an article written I think back then by someone named “The Shunnamite” that walked through step by step how she learned to orgasm with a vibrator. So, together with my husband, I followed the steps and we did it! Success! After a short training period, I was able to O anytime I wanted to, even in as little as a couple minutes! 

     

    Fast forward. Now it’s been 7 more years. Sex things are still amazing! We are leading a small group at our church through a marriage ministry. We both feel called to minister to people on this topic but obviously can’t get too graphic or specific. We are pointing people to this site, but where is that article?? 

    I probably should have put this on the testimony section but it started as an orgasm issue for me. 

     

    Thank you to TMB! You saved our sex life!! 

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    9 Answer(s)

      It was Shulamite and she was fabulous. I do remember her article. I think there is a way to access some of the old site, but I don’t know how. Hopefully, someone who does can assist.

      On the floor Answered on January 17, 2020.
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        I think there were two separate blogs that Shulamite started, but I could be wrong.  @Admin, if I’m mistaken, please feel free to correct or remove these links.

        Monoga Bliss

        Christian Nymphos

        Queen bed Answered on January 17, 2020.

        Sadly, neither of those site is updated any longer.

        on January 17, 2020.
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          My wife was the same way, for the first several years we were married, it was not impossible, but difficult for her to orgasm. I bought her one of the “silver bullets” and wow, it made a huge difference. That was almost a guaranteed orgasm if she wanted one.  After that, we kept two in case one broke. Many later years, we tried others, the Hitachi wand is good and the Eroscillator is too.

          On the floor Answered on January 17, 2020.
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            Thanks for coming back and especially for sharing your story! How exciting!! And to know TMB saved your sex life!

            Yes, I remember Shulamite and her story. She was very helpful in many things, as I recall. Perhaps you could write up your testimony here so that it can do the same for other couples.

            DW and I have a similar story, in that reaching an O for DW was something learned and necessitated an vibe.

            Under the stars Answered on January 17, 2020.
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              As I have frequently recounted, my DW experienced her first orgasm through the use of a magic wand after over 20 years of frustration. I wish that someone would have pointed us to this solution earlier in our marriage.

              HappilyMarried, I think the work you are doing is SO vital given how much suffering this kind of problem can bring to a marriage.

              Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 18, 2020.
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                At this point, the access to the old forum is gone. There may or may not be access in the future.

                Under the stars Answered on January 17, 2020.
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                  Sad about the old site. I started on it a couple years before discovering my wife’s affair and subsequent divorce, now almost 15 yrs ago. Then became active again after being engaged and getting remarried. A lot of info and many memories of info and online wisdom, friendship and encouragement.

                  Under the stars Answered on January 17, 2020.
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                    So thankful for vibrators! I don’t know that I ever would have been able to without one!

                    Double bed Answered on January 17, 2020.
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                      I have been married over 25 years and still have not had an O that I did not give myself. Within the last few months I have MB a few times during our LM session. Those were the only times I’d ever had a O with my husband present. That in itself was a huge step forward.  I recently purchased a vibrator and am hoping that will be a help.  I am finding it difficult to move forward because I feel like I’m the one pushing it. I would probably help me if I felt my DH was just as excited about trying to make it happen. This has been such a difficult and disappointing area for me.

                      King bed Answered on January 18, 2020.

                      A thought I have:  I get from what you wrote that it is mostly an attitude problem on his part, but if you can get the slightest hint of enthusiasm (or even just willingness) from him, try to get him to put his hand over yours, or to hold the vibrator while you guide his hand. (With the goal of eventually him learning how to use it to give you pleasure without your guidance.) When you have experienced pleasure–I did not say an O, but pleasure–with his participation, talk to him about how well he used this tool that is available to him to bring you sexual pleasure. Men use tools for all kinds of tasks; the right tool for the right job is practically a mantra with many of them. Show him that he is/can be highly skilled in using this tool and shamelessly stroke his masculine ego. When he eventually does bring you to O with this tool, let him know in every way possible what a fantastic lover he is and that you can’t wait for him to ML to you again.

                      on January 19, 2020.
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