How do you rate your sex life? I notice that most men have high desire for sex and a number of women refuse to say YES to sex.

    FREQUENCYRELATIONSHIP
    Twice a dayTypical of a very, very happy relationship

    Relaxation/honeymoon escasty

    DailyTypical of a very happy marriage
    Every other dayTypical of harmonious marriage, especially in working couples
    Once a weekTypical of marriage experiencing pressures of life
    Twice a monthTypical of disharmonious marriage, especially life  in-between quarrels/storms
    Once a monthTypical of marriage in co-existence—uninterested in each other
    Once two-three monthsTypical of a marriage in serious disharmony query unfaithfulness, adultery.
    Once every six monthsTypical of a couple in virtual separation and marital breakdown
    Once a yearTypical of total breakdown of marriage and virtual divorce

    How would you rate your sex life?

    Do you observe that the frequency of sex reflects your marital relationship?

    Don’t you think if you work on your relationship you would have a better sex life – Dear Husbands?

    Don’t you think if you work on your sex life you would have a better marital relationship – Dear Wives?

    Please refer to 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. And lets discuss the above. Share your comments please.

    I don’t think your chart is realistic, though I am tempted to show it to my wife so she will strive to have the happiest marriage.  When I was  young, twice a day was very doable.  I could do it now in my late 40’s, I think, but it would be a bit more of a challenge.

    One problem with the chart is that once a day (not counting periods) just seemed normal, just like ‘table stakes’ for wanting to get married when I was in my 20’s.  Why wouldn’t anyone want sex every day?  How could someone stand not having sex once a day without exploding?  🙂  Up into my 30’s it was that way.  But somewhere around my early 40’s, it seemed to physically feel okay to have sex every other day.  Now I don’t start getting really antsy (like going a  night without it after I was married in my 20’s) until I’ve gone two nights with no sex, except on occasion.  I would like it every 24 hours for intimacy and pleasure, but the urgency isn’t as strong.

    I suspect there are couples with strong marriages in their 80’s that may be having sex once a month.

    on October 11, 2019.
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    14 Answer(s)

      Anyone can put together a chart like this. The actual fact is that frequency has very little to do with marital harmony, if both partners like the frequency they’re vibrating at. 🙂

      The problems come when there are large desire discrepancies.

      Queen bed Answered on October 12, 2019.
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        Do you observe that the frequency of sex reflects your marital relationship?

        Nope, it’s not accurate for me.  Our frequency reflects more of what Christ has done in my life, rather than what’s going on in our marriage.

         

        Don’t you think if you work on your relationship you would have a better sex life – Dear Husbands?

        This is how it worked in our marriage, but it still took time.

         

        Don’t you think if you work on your sex life you would have a better marital relationship – Dear Wives?

        It was beneficial for a time, but it doesn’t guarantee lasting results…not when there are other issues also at play.  We hit our lowest of lows after I worked on our sex life.

         

        Under the stars Answered on October 9, 2019.
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          We have sex every night so “daily”. Yes, the frequency of our sex is reflective of our marital relationship.

          Queen bed Answered on October 9, 2019.
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            Hmm. Yeah, none of this works for me. My sex life is pretty much in the tank, but my husband and I get along really well, otherwise. We go out on dates, help each other with tasks around the house or garage, do stuff with one another, etc. We genuinely enjoy one another’s company. We just can’t figure the sex stuff out.

             

            Double bed Answered on October 9, 2019.
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              Seriously? This frequency doesn’t represent us. We have a wonderful love for each other after 38 years and the HARDSHIPS and physical pain and suffering we, especially my husband, has endured. For better or for worse and that does include frequency of sex life.

              I know a marriage that had daily sex but no intimacy. My husband and i went w/o sex for months on end because of serious health issues. While not ideal, i loved him with my whole heart.

              Right now we average about twice a week. Sometimes that’s not enough, sometimes it is and sometimes it’s too much depending on especially health issues. i think sometimes we all elevate sex to the be all end all of the relationship and it is not. Attitude is everything…

              Hammock Answered on October 9, 2019.
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                I’ve seen it said by more than one author that the happy couples in their marriage counseling practices on average tend to be quite content with a frequency of 2 or 3 times a week.  It has also been said that it’s not the frequency that matters, it’s how each person feels about the frequency that matters.

                It’s also not a male/female thing.   One guy I know was lamenting that his partner wanted daily sex, and he preferred it every third day to let the tensions build up.  He really hated the daily thing and it was driving a wedge.  And his partner doesn’t even O…ever!

                I agree, the chart is not valid.  For example, many people having affairs will increase the frequency to avoid suspicion, or because the affair has greatly increased their libido.  And anything that isn’t a healthy frequency (i.e. less than once a month) could be typical of any kind of relationship struggle.

                We have a very happy friendship.  DH just told me a few days ago that I am his safe space, his sense of home.  In the past 3 years, we have had sex less than 5 times.  (Although, I hear than might be changing soon.)

                Fell out of ... Answered on October 12, 2019.
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                  Intriguing…what are these typical results/outcomes based on?   Experience? Observation?  Scientific data?

                  Fell out of ... Answered on October 9, 2019.
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                    The pairing of Frequency and Relationship in the OP table doesn’t correlate for us randy seniors! Mrs. Oldbear and I have a very, very happy relationship and I assure you that we don’t have sex twice a day!

                    Seriously, a health marriage relationship is a barometer for a satisfying sex life. Keep the relationship strong and the quality and quantity of sex will more likely meet expectations of both the husband and the wife.

                    Fell out of ... Answered on October 9, 2019.

                    DW and I didn’t have sex twice a day even while we were on our honeymoon!!  Who made this Chart??  LOL

                    on October 9, 2019.
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                      I agree with Oldbear. My wife and I have very little PIV sex, less than once a month. But we use hands and play together often. I wasn’t as happy when I was younger that I didn’t get the sex I needed, doesn’t bother me as much now.

                      Queen bed Answered on October 10, 2019.
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                        According to this chart, for our sex frequency to match our relationship I guess we “should” be having sex approximately two out of every three days. We are not. Still hoping to improve that situation as fall continues.

                        On the floor Answered on October 10, 2019.
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