Husband masturbating during your period, ok or not?

    If the wife is having her period, does your husband masturbate and are you ok with it? Just curious.

    Would you say you encourage it, you are ok with it, but not thrilled or you don’t want him to.

    For me (male) I did for many years, but now, wish I hadn’t all those years. I now realize she didn’t feel well, didn’t want to be sexual during that time. I now look at it as if I was eating a meal in front of someone that was sick at their stomach. Kind of selfish. I could have lived with out it, but went ahead an pleasured myself anyway.

    In our relationship, from very early in our marriage, during my period … no way are we messing around …. but I have always encouraged (initially had to coax him) him to take care of himself: usually as I watched – but I also told him if I fell asleep and he needed it – it was fine to pleasure himself and masterbate next to me as I slept.  Have to say, over the years I have enjoyed watching him (now probs in the 100’s of times).  Additionally I bought him a Flesh light for same reasons – but I prefer to watch him getting close and then PONR by using just his own hand! Hope this helps and happy playing.

    on April 15, 2020.
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      I always offer DH something during my period as I
      like to enjoy it with him! But if I was feeling too rotten, I would suggest he did it himself, with me watching. He has my blessing to take care of himself if he ever needs to, period or not, if I am unavailable.

      Under the stars Answered on April 14, 2020.
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        My husband will try, with my blessing. Trust me, I don’t feel like I am missing out, so I don’t know that you should feel guilty. I would rather him take care of himself than be miserable or to put pressure on me during that time.

        Under the stars Answered on April 14, 2020.
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          My DW has always given me her blessing and encouraged me to do so.  Sometimes she would give me a HJ, other times she encouraged me to take care of myself while she watched.  Sometimes she encouraged PIV even though on her period.  Now she is post-period and at times not up to sex and will give her blessing to masturbate while watching.  No guilt for either of us, nor any condemnation on her part.  While I have given her the freedom to also masturbate when I have been sick she as yet has not.  My drive is higher than hers and she gives her blessing.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on April 14, 2020.
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            @Ron, I appreciate where you’ve landed on this. If you have come to see you weren’t understanding as you could have been and were selfish, good on you! I’d say that will bring healing and health to you and your marriage.

            Going forward, consider the examples of others here. Then have a talk with your DW. Decide together what you two believe is good for you guys.

            Under the stars Answered on April 14, 2020.
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              I’m sure I would have her blessing but it’s never come to that (granted she’s EARLY perimenopausal). She thought before we were married that she’d never want sex on her periods. However, after we got married, many times she’s offered/told me to hop on & in….OR she’s taken care of me on occasion w/OS & MS.

              Under the stars Answered on April 14, 2020.
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                My wife is very understanding, but she’d rather be the one taking care of it.
                Either by hand or some lotion-n-boobs.

                Fell out of ... Answered on April 14, 2020.
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                  Same was true with my wife PPF, back when she had such things.

                  Although, there were also many times, she requested I put on a show for her!

                  Hammock Answered on April 14, 2020.
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                    I guess I wasn’t asking from a biblical point of view, I don’t think masturbation is a sin if you do it with your spouse and with their approval and knowledge.

                     

                    I was asking more out of respect for my wife and her feelings.

                    On the floor Answered on April 15, 2020.

                    I hope I answered in a way that hit the heart of your question. If not, I can clarify or expand.

                    on April 15, 2020.

                    If you really want to know, ask her. It may spur on a much deeper discussion, so be ready.

                    on April 15, 2020.
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                      My wife never had any issues with it; if she was unavailable, she always kindly offered an alternative form of relief if I needed it and she was also happy with me taking care of myself. Similarly, if she needed relief and I was not available (for example away from home), I was more than happy for her to take care of her needs.

                      I don’t see why it would be a problem: you are not cheating on her and I don’t know about you but for me sometimes the sexual tension can be physically painful (testicles very tender), so the alternative of walking around for days with that discomfort can be quite bad. And, if DW wants to watch it, that’s a bonus!

                       

                      Fell out of ... Answered on April 15, 2020.

                      From a couples  point of view – you hit the nail on the head!  Both of us ( me on my period, or he on call and gone for 30+ hours) have always (yes always) when needed encouraged each other  to “take things into their own hands (or toys)”.   After all, we all need it – but frequently our schedules don’t allow it!   There is nothing wrong with self pleasure either next to our spouse  or alone if our spouse encourages and promotes it.

                      It’s real, it happens, embrace the mutual positivity of it!!!   After all, how many couples (we are willing to bet MOST) have  actually enjoyed mutual masterbation in front of each other   …. well take it one step past mutual while still acknowledging each other’s love of each other and our spouses needs.  Good luck as this is such a taboo conversation

                      on April 16, 2020.
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                        My wife is good with it. I don’t think watching is as thrilling for her as some others, but that doesn’t mean it’s a problem to her. We still plan intimacy when she is unavailable. I always give her a nice back rub and she tells me that this is her pleasure, so it’s not like she isn’t receiving anything herself. From my perspective, I find it quite intimate to be completely comfortable to M with DW right there. If I were to do it too often and without giving anything to her, I don’t think she would be as happy about it, and I might feel as you do. As it is, I don’t see any negatives for either of us.

                        I think what you are feeling now may be a result of God’s refining work of sanctification in your life. M is one thing that I believe, like you, is not in itself inherently sinful, but can be very easily. Love is the key. Communication with your wife can settle the matter of conscience for you more than any opinions here. Do all you can to not go against your conscience.

                        Fell out of ... Answered on April 15, 2020.
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