HUSBANDS, what is the attraction to cunnilingus?

    As I was laying back and thinking (probably when I shouldn’t have been 😳 ), I had multiple questions come to mind…

    What’s the draw or desire to perform cunnilingus?  What drives you to desire it?  What makes you enjoy it?

    What does it do for you emotionally? Mentally?

    If it’s important to you, why is it?

    This is something that I have had a hard time grasping and understanding, which can only hinder us.

    Under the stars Asked on January 26, 2020 in Oral Sex.

    LOL @ “laying back and thinking”… i have to utterly concentrate on the journey alone, you and i have talked about the intense concentration it takes to get there! i think it’s easier for husbands to give us OS than it is typically for the woman because men usually are the pursuers and for some reason they really get immense pleasure from seeing us in the throes of orgasm however it takes to get us there but i guess that they really love all aspects of it (taste, smell, visual) that we can never understand. We tend to be especially prudish about our genitals and it’s too bad.

    on January 27, 2020.

    🙂  First, if anyone realizes, it was a SUNDAY.  We had a good Saturday night, and he was “gifted” some special treats, and I was offering him to enjoy certain things a little more before I returned more to my norm, so this was truly a “for him”, so I really wasn’t working at trying to concentrate to “get me there”, but I was doing my new “thriving” thing and enjoying the experience.  🙂  One thing I can say, at least I didn’t keep it all within my head, which I often do…. I actually asked my husband these questions and more pointed ones (except about what he meant about it being “the most beautiful”.)  I know I am making it sound clinical, which that is more my comfort zone, but it was obvious that he found it erotic to talk about it.

    on January 27, 2020.
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    25 Answer(s)

      I think that Tony the Tiger said it best- ‘It’s GRRREEEAAATTT!’

      Seriously, this gives a man a full sensory delight. To be that close to the core of her physical womanhood is amazing. The sight  can be overwhelming (how much more naked could she appear?)  The scent and taste are intoxicating. Her wetness has a texture that is very pleasing.

      Another aspect is experiencing her intense reactions to the pleasure it brings. It makes a man feel very powerful to be able to bring her to such heights. And, she can O as many times as she wants. There is no definite ending like with PIV.

      I hope this helps your understanding…

      Queen bed Answered on January 27, 2020.

      I appreciate this, thanks!

      on January 27, 2020.
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        I could echo some of what grey said…Closeness is a huge thing…I mean you’re…in there!. You’re as close as a man can be to a woman.

        I think a huge thing for me is how it effects her. We’ve been married going on 23 years, and in all that time, no PIV orgasm has ever (nor will it ever) compare to an oral O. I love how I can feel her hips and pelvis move against my face. I like knowing that at that moment, (if I’m doing it right) she can’t think of anything else because of the intensity of what’s going on.

        There’s also nothing quite like the exploration we get to experience with our tongue. I’m sure it’s different for wives because men are “all out in the open”, but there’s a certain level of “cloakedness” (no, not a real word) that we have to figure out. Maybe a better term is road map. I have to explore for that certain place, and once i find it, we’re there…using that analogy, i think the trip is the majority of the fun for me, and the destination is more for her.

        Why is it important?…Because as grey said, that’s the core of her womanhood, and she’s letting me “be there”. One more reason for me is that it’s selfless. Yes, I’m getting mental and emotional satisfaction out of it, but there’s nothing in it physically for me, except an erection. I NEVER ask her to reciprocate, and she doesn’t usually volunteer to. Probably for two reasons. #1, I don’t think shes a fan of giving OS, but more often #2, she’s so emotionally and physically spent she doesn’t have it in her to do anything afterwards. So, since I know it’s potentially a one-sided activity, I feel better giving it, because it’s not about me; it’s all about her and her pleasure.

        On the floor Answered on January 27, 2020.

        Thanks for sharing, it is helpful!

        on January 27, 2020.
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          @SC – NO!  Don’t be offended. But your question doesn’t surprise me. DW doesn’t understand my desire…she doesn’t “feel clean” (my response is usually, “No problem, I’ll take care of that”.  It’s just this exquisite pleasure palace…ONLY designed BY GOD for pleasure…and the opening for making and birthing babies! WHAT AN AMAZING THING!!!

          I’ve nicked named her intimate place two special names…and just the sight of it drives me crazy. Sometimes I’ll just lay my wife down on the edge of the bed after a shower just to enjoy the sight…and then touch and kiss it because IT IS AMAZING!!!  God made everyone different and I’m the only one who gets to go there for pleasure. It’s such a private and intimate thing….more so than breasts ’cause technically, guys have them too (some are definitely more prominent than others) LOL!.

          On the floor Answered on January 27, 2020.

          Thanks NWNL!

          on January 27, 2020.
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            All of the the descriptions of the senses are true, but I want to share the other side of it. It feels like she’s holding back and not fully sharing herself when she limits it or won’t allow it. This can greatly reduce the level of intimacy. I want her to let go and fully enjoy the marriage bed with me.

            My wife gets little physical enjoyment out of PIV. So our routine is for me to give her a manual O. This works almost every time, and nothing wrong with it but it is routine. I find her lack of enjoyment of PIV a bit of a drag on my confidence level at times so adding in oral allows variety and builds confidence on the rare occasions she allows it.

            Hammock Answered on January 27, 2020.

            Thanks for sharing, the “other side” speaks just as clearly.  We could say, part of the attraction is you desire her to fully open herself up and share herself with you, by not holding back and limiting.

            on January 27, 2020.

            Correct! Right or wrong, I already feel somewhat limited by the LD, responsive desire, and her lack of enjoyment of PIV. Those are not necessarily things she can change. However, not allowing oral just kind of piles on.

            on January 27, 2020.
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              What’s the draw or desire to perform cunnilingus?  It is the intimacy of it. Being fully aware that not all wives enjoy/allow this, strengthens the allure! It is evident to me how blessed I am. I love receiving OS, so this is a great way to reciprocate. It is an awesome way to mutually enjoy each other’s genitals. Each time I marvel how God made her vulva so beautiful and her clit so responsive – especially considering it comparatively small size! I feel like I’m piloting a jet or rocket!

              What drives you to desire it?  The knowledge that I’m going where no other man has ever gone! Also,  after years when she didn’t allow it she is very eager and willing to confidently open herself up to this enjoyment, I become very passionate about imbibing deeply and enjoying my personal playground!

              What makes you enjoy it? I know she enjoys it and the great sexual heights she gets to enjoy. In fact, because of how much she enjoys it, if we had to give up one – me receiving or she receiving – I would give up me receiving it. I want to remain between her legs for as  long as possible! To nuzzle her inner thighs, her lips, her mound, her bush, etc. give both a thrill and a sense of peace and comfort.

              What does it do for you emotionally? Mentally? It both sooths and excites my heart! It deepens my connection with her. And mentally, it lingers in my mind – the textures, the experience, the scent, the mild taste, the warmth, etc!

              If it’s important to you, why is it? It feels like our Garden of Eden!

              Under the stars Answered on January 27, 2020.

              Very well stated!

              -Scott

              on January 27, 2020.

              Thanks OWM!

              on January 27, 2020.

              You’re welcome!

              on January 28, 2020.
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                HI – I’m that guy that lurked on the old site and reintroduced himself here by saying he’d try to be more vocal… and promptly stopped talking lol!

                To add to what others have said, I think I prefer giving oral than receiving (which is not to say I do not enjoy receiving!).  My DW doesn’t seem to enjoy, she certainly has never asked for it and she doesn’t really respond iykwim?  I think it’s probably due to low self-esteem/poor body image together with her own feelings about her own genitals/scent, etc…?  She O’d once many years ago, sitting on my face, but complained it was so powerful it was almost sore? and hasn’t ever engaged to that extent since 🙁 I would ask her why not but I don’t want to get a flat ‘please don’t do it’ – because I really love going down on her.  Visually – her vulva is amazing. The sensations on my tongue and lips are fabulous and so entirely different to the sensations from using my hands or from PIV… her smell and taste drive me wild.  In some strange way it is a far more intimate act than PIV because your face is buried in that most private of her places… and those are all the reasons I love giving my wife oral!! 🙂

                Twin bed Answered on January 27, 2020.

                “I’m that guy that lurked on the old site and reintroduced himself here by saying he’d try to be more vocal… and promptly stopped talking lol!”

                This had me literally laughing out loud!  Thanks for sharing!

                on January 27, 2020.
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                  It’s incredibly sensuous and intimate. She is giving herself with abandon and vulnerability to me for our mutual delight. Delight is a two-way experience – hers and mine; hers is the experience of waves of sexual pleasure and mine is soaking-up her physical and emotional response to her pleasure. Additionally, it builds up my own sexual pleasure.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on January 27, 2020.

                  Thanks for sharing!

                  on January 28, 2020.
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                    What the others have said.  The closeness…taste…touch…smell…the positions

                    Giving OS is a very intimate, trusting and vulnerable position for giver.

                    My wife doesn’t understand it either and just the other day when we were talking about it, said that if receiving it were taken off of her buffet options, she wouldn’t miss it…BUT she always enjoys giving it to me and would not want to stop that. Thankfully, she’s not taking it off the table for her either!!! 😀 

                    On the floor Answered on January 27, 2020.

                    That’s kind of been my response to it, but yet, I don’t know if there’s any other act that can make me feel desired and sensuous, when I desire to, like it can.

                    on January 27, 2020.
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                      Grey Hornet explained it really well.  My wife won’t let me give it to her anymore and I miss so much. I have a very strong desire to give her oral sex.  She always seemed to really enjoy it, but since she didn’t give oral back and felt some obligation to do so, she didn’t want me giving it to her anymore. I would do it for her if I never got it. I actually leaves a hole in our relationship. That is how the strong the desire is.

                      Fell out of ... Answered on January 27, 2020.

                      Thanks for sharing!

                      on January 27, 2020.
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                        Hiya, I occasionally posted on the old forum.

                        New name here because I completely forgot what my old one was!

                        DW is mainly a responsive desire type but, praise God, she knows this and understands the importance of sex in Christian marriage. Our typical sex 3x per week is much more frequent than if we waited for her to be in the mood.

                        “What’s the draw or desire to perform cunnilingus? What drives you to desire it? ” – my favourite thing about sex is giving DW pleasure. I love being a selfless lover (I realise that getting off on her pleasure is not entirely selfless!). It’s one of my options for getting her going :)”What makes you enjoy it?” – it’s very intimate. I enjoy her physical response and her pleasure.

                        “What does it do for you emotionally? Mentally?” – if it works it will be part of a very fulfilling encounter, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. It’s never the ‘main event’ though and I just move on to something else if it’s not doing it for her.

                        “If it’s important to you, why is it?” – it’s not that important, but it’s intimate and fun. I would love to get her to O from it but I think it doesn’t quite press the right buttons for that.

                        Twin bed Answered on January 27, 2020.

                        Thanks for coming out of the woodwork to answer this! I hope we “see” you around more!

                        on January 27, 2020.
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