I made up a couples game…
I’ve been trying to think of a good arousing game that doesn’t play like roll the dice, “do this for 60 seconds”, etc. I think I’ve come up with something.
Either you make up questions as you go, or you make a set of cards with questions. One set of questions for her and one for him. They could be sexy, provocative, scruples based, whatever does it for you.
Agree on a prize in advance.
The idea is you take turns reading the questions to you spouse. They answer the question, but they can either tell the truth, or they can lie. This gives them a chance to answer in a way they otherwise would not.
You then have to decide if they are lying or telling the truth. If you guess correctly, you get the point. If not, they get the point. There would be lots of opportunities to bluff, etc. And, lots of opportunities to talk about things you might not otherwise talk about.
After a predetermined number of questions, or time, the spouse with the greatest number of points wins.
The winner gets their choice of whatever you have agreed to.
I like it and see dangers in it at the same time. If these are intimacy or sexy questions, there is the possibility for hurt feelings. In a healthy relationship where the couple already feels safe to be vulnerable with each other, they probably already have a good sense of the nature of partner’s true answer. If the couple has been reluctant to talk about certain topics, hearing an answer you like only to discover they were bluffing could really kill the mood.
I saw a game once, aimed at wives who feel disconnected during football season. You watch the game together, and place sexual wagers throughout the game. (i.e. My team just scored a touchdown, now I get a quick…fill in the blank.)
ETA – for me personally, any kind of titillating game in the presence of other people outside one’s marriage risks leading someone into temptation.. “I love my wife, but Rob’s wife was SO hot when she was talking about that thing she did the other night, I got so hard. And now I can’t stop visualizing her doing it!” or “I love my husband, but Sherry’s husband is such a man’s man. I wish my husband was more like him in the bedroom.” Even if you know that it is safe for YOU, there’s no way to know that what you’re revealing isn’t causing a problem for someone else.
We were just watching a tv show this evening where they played a game called “Confessions” where each person (this was a group game) “confessed” something and then everyone else had to guess whether it was true or not. If they guessed correctly, the confessor had to drink; if they guessed incorrectly, the guessers had to drink. I thought at the time how much fun that would be in a sexually charged setting (either a couple, or a small group of sex-positive couples who are comfortable sharing with each other) and then after all that sharing and (still sensibly moderate) drinking the couples (if more than one) would go off by themselves to enjoy the intimacy that has been created. I have no point in sharing this related to your idea, other than it was a coincidence that I just saw that a couple hours ago.
Two things. One: You didn’t mention the how, but I’m never a fan of keeping points on paper or any formal way when it is meant to be a flirty, frisky game. I suggest keeping them by awarding from a pot of tokens you set out at the beginning–condoms would make awesome tokens. Or candies of some sort. Or there’s always the strip-_______ variety of whatever you would call your game. That way the winner wins two prizes. Two: Questions could be difficult the longer a couple has been together. Not impossible; just more difficult. After 26 years, you know a heck of a lot about each other’s opinions, tastes, and histories. Maybe make them related to something new to both of you? That’s one thing I would love about playing in a trusted, frisky group: the little shared secrets, inside jokes, us-against-them feeling is a huge turn-on in a sexually charged atmosphere.
Thanks for your idea!
I think it sounds fun but like Duchess said I don’t know what kind of questions we’d ask each other that we don’t already know the answers to.
I’m also a terrible liar or prankster, dh can tell instantly when I’m “up to something” and I can almost never trick him. I’m much more gullible than he is (on the phone with voice or text I often can’t tell if he’s being truthful or teasing me) but if I can see his face I’m pretty good at telling if he’s being truthful or not. So that would be kind of a stalemate in terms of us being able to successfully lie to each other.
Duchess’s idea of playing in a close group of friends sounds fun and very much appeals to me, but I don’t think my dh would ever go for that. He’s a pretty private person when it comes to sex (which I appreciate because he’s the polar opposite of the “locker room bragster” I know that anything we do stays with us and is safe). I also think that in that specific situation knowing intimate details about people you spend lots of time with could end up being a stumbling block for some people, either because you might end up imagining them in those scenarios, or wishing that those scenarios were possible for you when for whatever reason they are not. I do talk about sex, sometimes in detail with close friends but that has a whole different feeling than a group of mixed company sharing specifics and with alcohol involved I think inhibitions might be lowered more than they maybe should.
Just to clarify. I didn’t expect this game to be played in a group setting. I do t think that’s a good idea. And, I’d expect that it would only really appeal to couples who can successfully play balderdash type games. The questions could be overtly sexual, would you rather type questions with equally difficult chooses, morals based, or even none sexual. Or a mix. I’m thinking about turning this into an app.