If your spouse asked….
“Can you tell me one thing I can do to become a better lover to you?”
….what would your answer be?
Here’s a challenge: go and ask your spouse this question. How did they respond? Did they give you an answer? Were there any surprises?
My answer would be: to treat my vulva more like an ice cream cone during OS. Delicate licks at the edges to catch the early drips; long swirling licks over and over, that get a little closer to the core each time; eventually he would put his lips over that last little bit and suck until eventually he might nibble gently on the cone. Ice cream cone.
Now who’s going for ice cream today? ;D
If my hubby asked me, I’d first ask if he was ok or planning to die soon. Once he could assure me everything was fine, I would tell him that physically, he does everything right. I just would like him to completely let down his guards and be there for me emotionally.
I asked him. As usual, I knew what his answer would be. It was this – I am stressed to the max right now and can’t even think about that.
I think I found my answer… don’t be in such a rush, come to bed earlier so that we have more time to connect in other ways before jumping to sex.
His answer was not a surprise at all, it was “let me lead us to new (or rarely visited) places/things.”
My answer would be something along the lines of “Show more enthusiasm and desire for being with me, not just sexually, but in everything.”
I asked DW the question, and her response was something along the lines of “If you’d asked me several months ago, I’d have said to not wait until bedtime to initiate. But now, I don’t really have an answer.” Only surprise I had from that is she had an answer for the past. She is deeply responsive drive and probably very low libido currently, so she never thinks about these things…so I was expecting nothing at all!