If your spouse asked….
“Can you tell me one thing I can do to become a better lover to you?”
….what would your answer be?
Here’s a challenge: go and ask your spouse this question. How did they respond? Did they give you an answer? Were there any surprises?
My answer would be something along the lines of “Show more enthusiasm and desire for being with me, not just sexually, but in everything.”
I asked DW the question, and her response was something along the lines of “If you’d asked me several months ago, I’d have said to not wait until bedtime to initiate. But now, I don’t really have an answer.” Only surprise I had from that is she had an answer for the past. She is deeply responsive drive and probably very low libido currently, so she never thinks about these things…so I was expecting nothing at all!
I would ask her to be more open to both giving and receiving OS. At present, she does not give OS and has a difficult time receiving.
If I asked her how I could be a better lover, she would probably ask me for more pre-sex cuddling, massages, etc. I will ask her this morning before we ML!