Is oral sex OK?


    I’m thinking back to the question that was on my mind when I first discovered TMB, back in 2005. Is it completely acceptable for married Christian couples to engage in oral sex? Are there any biblical reasons for refraining?

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      I think it is acceptable for married Christian couples to enjoy oral sex together. In fact, some verses in Song of Songs seem to refer to oral sex.

      However, I do think there are biblical reasons for specific couples to refrain from oral sex. What is loving and right for one couple may be quite unloving–and, therefore, wrong–for another couple.

      Biblical principles of loving, selflessness, and intimacy might look different in different marriages.

      If a woman was sexually abused as a child in a way that involved oral sex, it is probably best to avoid oral sex (at least until she has sought treatment and worked with a counselor to discuss if and how oral sex could be added). If either spouse has used pornography and as a result sometimes struggles to be fully present and engaged during sex, that couple might find that intimacy requires them to have their faces close together.

      Queen bed Answered on March 28, 2019.
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        I can’t do any better than what SeekingPerspective said, so I will settle for humour.

        “If it’s only okay, your not doing it right!”

        (And this is why we have the ability to downvote answers!)

        Fell out of ... Answered on March 30, 2019.
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          Mu husband and I think that there is nothing that shows trust and vulnerability more than oral sex.  I’m sure not all feel that way but for us it is probably the most intimate thing we do!

          Fell out of ... Answered on April 8, 2019.
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            When we first married, 25 years ago, I was uncomfortable with OS. DH craved for me to do that for him and I often felt disappointed that he seemed to like it better than “real” sex. When he did it for me, I could not let go of my embarrassed discomfort enough to enjoy it.  Out of love for him,  I continued to do it for him and tolerate when he was in the mood to do it for me, saying “I’d rather not” on few occasions when I just really wanted what wanted.  One day I discovered that the more enthusiastic I got about building his pleasure in this way, the more aroused I became. I made a game of seeing how aroused I could get him before he lost control and I began to actually enjoy bringing him completely to release without him ever doing anything much to me. (Allowing him to finish in my mouth, and later, swallowing the ejaculate took a while longer, but the gratification he showed as I kept pushing my boundaries was worth it.) Then one day it occurred to me that he might feel the same way (I think a scene from the Hero’s point of view in a Regency  Romance novel helped me to picture this strange possibility!) Finally I realized that when he did that for me, I liked it very very much!

            This is not to say that one should always just give in and do what the spouse wants, no matter what.  It’s just my experience in reaping the rewards of attempting selfless love.  It is worth trying.

            Under the stars Answered on April 22, 2019.
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              Paul, for that clever response, you deserve an upvote!

              Under the stars Answered on March 30, 2019.
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                Such an intimate and loving act! All good!

                Cot Answered on April 5, 2019.
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                  I couldn’t imagine not having OS. It’s such an important part of intimacy between a married couple and it feels so good, lol.

                  Queen bed Answered on April 16, 2019.
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                    Me too. Cant imagine not having oral sex. It did take some time to start oral sex on marriage bed,.  Wife was hesitant initially in marriage.  Now she loves fellatio.

                    Queen bed Answered on July 15, 2019.
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                      We have never done it in our marriage, but I fully support it as a key aspect of a solid sex life in marriage.

                      Double bed Answered on July 23, 2019.
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                        Not only does the Bible not prohibit OS.  The Song of Solomon seems to encourage it.  Lots of eating and oral enjoyment of the garden going on there.

                        Double bed Answered on July 24, 2019.
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