Is sex incomplete if DW does not orgasm?

    As a spin off to a similar question… Mostly for husbands…

    How do you feel after a sex session if DW didn’t get to orgasm? Are you still satisfied or do you feel something is missing?

    It took quite some time after we got married before my DW had her first O. We tried our best, but I felt like a failure every time and I certainly didn’t feel satisfied.

    Now she O 90-95% of the time when we ML and I feel satisfied and complete afterwards. But those rare times she does not O I feel a lot less satisfied, the sex was incomplete and I feel bad. I have bad conscience for “using her” for my own pleasure, although we have had a very nice time and done our best to satisfy each other. I don’t feel as deeply connected to her as if she had O’d. I think she has right to have an O as much as I do.

    Do you have any suggestion how to handle these feelings?

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    15 Answer(s)

      I too feel disappointed if DW does not have an O. It took us MANY years to figure out what worked for my wife. Currently, she can only O from the use of a wand-type of vibrator, although she has on occasion O’d from the use of the eroscillator. Still working on a technique that would allow her to O during PIV sex. Trying to see if she can apply the vibrator while I am inside her, but this is proving difficult since the head of the wand is fairly large.

      California King Answered on August 24, 2019.
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        I feel disappointed and like I didn’t do my job if she doesn’t O during an all out LM session…and I feel like a stud when she goes into a session thinking it’s not gonna happen and in the process for me, she gets turned on and goes for it before or after PIV for me.  Either way, she still likes the closeness and physical oneness.

        I just agree with the title, SHE COMES FIRST and I want to be the gentleman in bed. My wife also came from a previous nearly sexless marriage and when there was an encounter it was all about him so I want to be a generous lover, more than willing to take her to as many O’s as she wants, especially since she is so generous to me.

        Of course, this doesn’t include the hot times when she just wants to be taken and at that point, it’s all about me getting there as hard and fast as I can. 😍🔥😍🔥😍

        On the floor Answered on September 12, 2019.
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          My goal is always to see how many times I can make her orgasm before I have mine, but sometimes it’s a lot, sometimes a few, and sometimes only once. I can’t remember the last time she didn’t orgasm, but I am sure I would feel guilty and not as satisfied because of it.

          Queen bed Answered on September 30, 2019.
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            My wife rarely O’s.  And if she does it through using the vibrator.  Yes, I don’t feel like I fully satisfy her and I feel like a failure sometimes but she constantly confirms that she is just enjoying it and loves the feel of it.  Can’t help the way I feel though, no matter how much she says it doesn’t bother her that she never O’d.   But when she does O I actually am more satisfied knowing she went then if I O’d and I feel like I completed her.

            Double bed Answered on October 21, 2019.
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              My goal is to always make my wife O multiple times before I experience mine and when that doesn’t happen it does somewhat weigh on me that I didn’t didn’t perform correctly or well enough or that my equipment isn’t good enough for her to have full enjoyment.  But she has told me numerous times that sometimes she doesn’t need it and gets enjoyment from making me O.

              I think part of the issue is that my wife needs a vibrator to O and no matter how much I intellectualize it that that’s just how she’s built there’s still that primitive part of my brain that say I’m not fully satisfying her until I can make her O “the proper way” (PIV).  I fight hard against that thought, though, as I know if I dwell on it it’ll do damage to our lovemaking.

              Hammock Answered on October 21, 2019.
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