Women – Is Sucking Pleasurable?

    Thank you so much for your prayers.  My bride and I are very slowly progressing forward.  Last night she wore a costume for me (rare) and it drove me absolutely wild!

    As I was giving OS, I thought I’d try sucking a little.  That didn’t go so well at all.   It ended up turning her off and ending the evening (however, evening was still a success overall).

    So do women generally find a gentle sucking on the clitoris an unpleasant thing?  Or could it be mental because it was unexpected and a new sensation (I’d never done that before) and she didn’t know it was coming? (Maybe I should have better communicated what was coming?)  I know that in normal foreplay I try and ask her what she likes, but do you usually ask those questions in the intense heat of passion?

    Or could it be my technique?  My mouth was external over her whole area – not inside the lips at all.  She had a pillow under her, but the clitoris is so small, is it possible to get your mouth just over it by itself?  Am I supposed to pucker my lips like a kiss?

    Queen bed Asked on October 19, 2019 in Oral Sex.
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    15 Answer(s)

      Good to hear things are improving!

      For Mrs. OWM it is pleasurable.  She enjoys a variety of levels of strength in sucking, as well as other forms of stimulation. In our situation when sucking her, it also involves the clitoral hood in the mix. I have read that for some DWs isolating the clitoris and sucking only on it, may not be pleasurable – for various reasons including over sensitivity.

      As you are probably aware, clitorises vary in size, in the degree to which they are prominent or protrude, etc. All of these factors impact their suckability and of course which techniques are most  suitable. You will need to experiment and explore what works best. I would caution you against feeling discouraged after one try! So, yes, try different things with your lips, levels of strength of sucking, how much of the hood you include, including her lips in the mix, etc.  And as you suggest, communication prior to and during will likely produce better results and greater mutual enjoyment.

      I hope this helps.

      Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 19, 2019.
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        Softly isn’t too bad, but the use of the tongue is better. There was a time my husband was trying to replicate what he enjoys with OS….um no, hard sucking does not feel good to me.

        Will your wife talk about it? I wonder if it made her feel like she was going to pee, and it mortified her.

        Under the stars Answered on October 19, 2019.

        Is that sensation of having to pee a precursor to another pleasure? Or something to be avoided?
        I thought I remembered reading somewhere else (maybe with FE??) that you have to push through that and it gets better? Or am I mixing things up?

        on October 19, 2019.

        And I doubt she’d talk about it. She is very slow to comfort in those conversations. But she’s wonderful and beginning the slow process of talking even though it makes her uncomfortable.

        on October 19, 2019.

        The sensation of having to pee often comes with g-spot stimulation, which is tied to FE, but that wouldn’t be the case here. All I can think is the uretha is right there in the midst of all the action. It’s nestled right between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. When you are sucking, the uretha could be affected.

        Another thing to consider, some women get scared from strong and new sensations. My daughter accidentally ended up bring herself to an orgasm when she was a pre-teen…it terrified her and she thought she was dying, that’s how I know about it, because her fear drove her to me to find comfort. I have heard grown women speak of the anxiety orgasm sensations bring to them, I would guess that could be applicable to anything new, especially if there’s a strong physical response.

        on October 19, 2019.
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          I love it!  It is part of our foreplay and between session he does it.   DH felt weird about it at first though, he said it was like he was sucking on a small penis 😛  But once he saw how much I loved it, he loved it too. 🙂

          Queen bed Answered on October 19, 2019.
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            Like all the other responses, there is a lot of variety in life and marriage.  For me, sucking on my clitoris best when I am extremely aroused, ready to orgasm.  Then, it’s the perfect way to take me over the edge.  Gently, not a hard suck at all, and in rhythm with my contractions, will really intensify and prolong my orgasms.

            As far as position, go with what ever is comfortable for both of you.  We like to use a Liberator Wedge under my hips so that we’re both comfortable and I can hold my legs back and spread so that my husband’s hands are free to ease access.  And sometimes, I can help with that with my fingers too.

            Suggest you keep exploring to see what works best for both of you and, as suggested, communicate, communicate, communicate!  Don’t practice ’til you get it right.  Practice ’til you can’t get it wrong!!!

            Fell out of ... Answered on October 20, 2019.
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              The first time my DH sucked on mine I didn’t expect it, wasn’t sure what he was doing, and the simple surprise of it made me unable to relax and enjoy it.  At that point, the idea of doing that had never even crossed my mind. Now, I think I would enjoy some gentle sucking after a lot of licking, when I am nearing peak. This is an area where I feel we could definitely use some more practice. 😉

              Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 20, 2019.

              Practice!  Practice!  Practice!!!

              on October 21, 2019.
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                Probably depends on the woman. My wife enjoys some sucking as a way to mix things up during oral, but it is an accent to the tongue, not our main event. She may be too sensitive for sucking, and it may vary during different times in her cycle.

                Queen bed Answered on October 19, 2019.
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                  Having her clitoris sucked us my wife’s favorite element of oral sex. It is the crescendo of the event and much time is spent building up to it. I normally wait until she asks for it at least once to build arousal. Once to it, she wants it aggressively sucked in combination with rubbing my tongue over it.

                  Fell out of ... Answered on October 19, 2019.
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                    Thank you so much for your gracious answers and ideas. Y’all are such a blessing.

                    Queen bed Answered on October 19, 2019.
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                      some women like sucking, and some don’t. it depends on a variety of factors. My wife’s clitoris is large enough that I can easily suck on it by itself, and I draw it all the way into my mouth. However, that tends to make her orgasm too quickly, so we don’t do it often.

                      California King Answered on October 19, 2019.

                      I thought they were all pretty much the same size.  Are there some that CAN’T be sucked on like you do with your wife?

                      on October 19, 2019.

                      You read about clitorises being about the size of a pea.  But my wife’s is about the size of a BB,  +- depending on whether she is aroused or not.

                      on October 19, 2019.

                      a pea?  a single pea?  wow.

                      on October 19, 2019.

                      Talking about pea/BB, I’m assuming he means the clitoral glans, which is comparable to my wife. Having seen plenty of porn (unfortunately), I knew hers was a little on the small size. Seems that 2.5 mm wide and 5 mm long is average from a quick search. What I can’t fathom is the supposedly world-record one…12″…how is that possible!?! Even counting the internal stuff?

                      on October 20, 2019.

                      Right. In our case, I meant just her clitoral head, which is about the size of the first joint of my little finger, once I pull back her clitoral hood, which is a bit larger than that, of course. Pea-size is about average, though we’re talking about a small pea. Chickpea sized would be considered on the larger end, and of course, there are the outliers, as you mentioned. The really large ones are often the result of taking steroids, and appear with female bodybuilders quite often. I’ve never heard of a woman with a 12″ clitoris, but it’s technically possible, but obviously extremely rare. Anyway, I’m aware that my wife’s clitoris is on the larger end, which makes it possible to suck on it fairly easily and I’ve never had trouble “finding it.” However, with one the size you’re describing, you’ll need to work with your wife to determine the oral technique that works best for her.

                      on October 20, 2019.

                      and Samantha, they’re not all the same size. Many can’t be sucked on, since they’re smaller than a small pea. Or they get “lost” under the clitoral hood or between the labial folds when she’s aroused, etc. The female anatomy has wide variation and every woman is different.

                      on October 20, 2019.

                      Wow, I never knew there was so much variety!  I thought mine was normal, but being that it gets as big as about half a baby carrot, I guess I’m more on the unusual side… :/

                      on October 20, 2019.
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                        It depends, mood…timing…arousal. I’d suggest spending some sexploration time, just time to experiment and receive feedback without the goal necessarily of orgasm…or at least for a time period.

                        King bed Answered on October 19, 2019.
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