Is there a forum etiquette page?
Ok so I’m new to the site and I’m trying to figure out the rules/customs of the site. I’ve never seen a question and answer format like this anywhere before. Do people ever start posts that aren’t exactly questions? Is that frowned upon?
Is there a page or FAQ’s that sort of lay out the culture? I’d hate to inadvertently anger everyone before I ever start even making friends.
Welcome aboard. A forum like this is designed to encourage dialogue so asking a question in a starter post is a natural way to do that.
What is frowned upon? Hmmmm…
- acting like a know-it-all when it’s clear you don’t have your “poop-in-a-group” BUT all the while piously bragging about all your “expertise”, scholarship, etc.
- responding without actually addressing the question
- responding callously and without empathy to someone who is hurting or shared something very personal/painful
- answering a question in the comments rather than responding with an answer, when it was clearly a response that should’ve been an given in an “answer” format, which can’t be voted up or down as helpful…nor will everyone see it unless they click on comments
- being new and creating a new question that seems to be more about “getting ones rocks off” or making a statement about something crass or strongly sexual rather than asking about something you want to really hear & learn about
The closest you can come is to go click on the topic “Guidelines, How Tos, and FAQ”, and you will see what others have asked. PaulB, the creator of TMB, did post some basic info here: https://qna.themarriagebed.com/question/how-to-and-general-information/
Yes, you can start a “question” without it being a formal question.
Moving this from a comment to an answer…. it’s in reply to @Scott bringing up “downvotes”….
Downvotes aren’t always about crossing the line, it can just be people disagree with you. People ‘downvote’ for different reasons. I, personally, don’t downvote just because I disagree with someone. I believe differing perspectives and opinions are a good thing. I save downvotes for when someone gives absolutely horrendous advice or they are obviously here with wrong intentions and I am trying to keep them for building up points to get greater freedoms. I am one who is more likely to state or discuss my disagreement than to just “downvote”.
Both @SC and @NWNL did a good job covering things. Overall, we are largely self policing and the group works to keep people in line on the few rules that are in place (with the “no politics” rule being the biggest one). The self policing really stepped up after a group of trolls/wolves came in last fall and caused a lot of problems.
I’d also agree that a big no-no is posting stuff solely for the purpose of titillation.
If you find yourself getting downvotes, you’ll know you’ve crossed the line (though you might cross the line and not get downvotes).
One question that a lot of people have relates to the “Badge” system. Can read about it here: https://qna.themarriagebed.com/badges-2/ Please note that, at least IMO, all of the current users with fairly high badge ratings are pretty trustworthy people.
Probably the biggest thing to watch for is creepy private messages (PM’s). There has been no shortage of users using the PM system for reasons that many here would disagree with. These “wolves” often seem to target new users and/or users who are struggling with sin or frustrated with their spouse. If you encounter something that upsets you or crosses the line, whether in a PM or not, do not hesitate to contact the board czar–his username is “Dale”. I underline the “do not hesitate” because I tolerated things that made me uncomfortable when I first joined, coming up with any and all excuses not to contact him.
Hope that helps!
Just wanted to echo what Scott said: DO NOT hesitate to PM me if you see something that may be crossing a line. I tend to stay “in the shadows” and don’t post much unless needed, but I am always here and available to take care of problems as they crop up. You can also contact me via email: email@example.com.
I have never read the FAQs, there are some things I cannot figure out. I’ve probably gotten on some nerves because of it. But, hey, trying to be honest, respectful, good natured, fun and most of all biblically correct without being judgmental. I think it works and there are those that I have come to respect that will be honest with me if I venture off line. – Welcome.