Kinky Sex

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    Building off the question of the day – since kinky generally refers to something that is sexually unusual, I am curious to know what types of kinky behaviors you and your spouse engage in? Perhaps we can all encourage each other to be less predictable in bed.

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      “Engage in” and desiring it can be two different things 🙂

      “Sexually unusual” is also dependent on the crowd. To the many “vanilla only” couples, normal activity to us, could be unusual to them. To those deeper in the “kinkier” scene, what is kinkier to us, could be very normal and almost vanilla like to them. It’s all relevant to the crowd you are speaking to. Since we are in mixed company, and probably lean more to the conservative, “vanilla” side, I will even share things that are just “normal” for us.

      For us, we have done things that help fill his desire for exhibition….
      • Public, yet private, sex and sexual activity.
      • Keeping blinds &/or windows open during sex (with minimal risk of actually being seen)
      • Going sans panties in public, or removing them while out.

      Other “normal” activity for us, but might be unusual to others…
      • Anal play, with fingers, and I have even had some toes that have been violated 😉 ; with toys for him and her
      • Anal sex
      • Double penetration, him in one and a toy in another, and it can go either way.
      • Fellatio and cunnilingus (although this should be considered “normal” even to those who don’t practice it.)
      • Photos/videos, for our eyes only.

      A little edgier stuff…
      • light bondage
      • limited sensory deprivation (blindfold, earplugs or earbuds)
      • pain/pleasure play (nipple, clitoris clamps and pumps/suction, with the occasional spank)
      • light air restriction

      Interesed in, both have done some reading and research on, but haven’t quite taken that leap….
      • D/s

      Under the stars Answered on October 11, 2019.

      My husband and I are in the same place, though no anal sex. Yet!

      on October 12, 2019.
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        when I said I’d rather have kinky sex, it’s because my DW and I never have… it’s always been very vanilla… the most “kinky” we got is from behind in the shower… but I bet 90% of ppl will agree that doesn’t really qualify. I’d love to get kinky with my DW… but I fear we never will… she is not interested in anything remotely considered kinky.

        Hammock Answered on October 11, 2019.
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          i don’t think either of us are desirous to push the envelope all the time as “normal” sex satisfies us BUT, if i wasn’t probably heading for hip replacement surgery and my leg hurt so much, i would be more adventurous with positions although that’s not really “kinky”.

          AFA “kink” i think maybe anal play with a plug would be interesting to me, i don’t know about full on penetration because of my issues and fears of possible damage, don’t know if it’s worth my effort but i may at some point bring up a plug. Can’t imagine what he would think as he is somewhat vanilla just because he hasn’t watched porn (where a lot of people learn about these things) so he doesn’t know about any of this stuff… i am hoping maybe he is open. Other stuff not really interested just because we don’t really need that and are pretty satisfied except for the physical limitations.

          Hammock Answered on October 11, 2019.
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            SeekingChange listed twelve bullet points (not including the interested but not yet item). We can claim some part or form of each one, though a couple are “barely”. Our “public” does not extend to actual sex but only sexual activity (like a breast grab in the store or a penis “massage” going down the road. We don’t do any anal “play” except actual sex or occasionally to insert a very slim, smooth toy. The “edgier stuff” she lists is pretty rare for us and we’ve only blindfolded for sensory deprivation and a light smack on the butt for “pain”. The only thing we’ve done that she didn’t list is outfits; I’ve left my high heels on (and nothing else) a couple times. Oh and he likes to use cucumbers on me.

            Still hoping to tame the calendar and daily schedule tiger so we can add a different kind of wildlife in the near future but honestly I think it won’t be aiming so much for “kinky” as for “adventurous”. Maybe that’s only a distinction in my own mind, but “kinky” feels like a synonym for “dirty” to me, whereas “adventurous” feels more like just an exuberant expression of our love and desire for each other. Like I said, might be a distinction only in my own mind. 🙂

            On the floor Answered on October 11, 2019.
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              My DH and I are still learning the ropes on getting “normal” sex to work.  Many positions are impossible.

              Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to go to a nudist resort.  I’m not thinking of public sex, but more of just being nude around other couples.  No swinging or orgy or anything like that lol.   I think the public nudity would help me with my body issues, however I also feel like I would be embarrassed if others saw my husbands equipment.

              From what I’ve been reading, it would seem like DH would be ideal for anal sex, but my “curvy” booty would make it difficult at best.

              Oh well, I guess that’s why some things are fantasies.

              Double bed Answered 7 days ago.
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                I echo the statement of ALL_IN…We are very vanilla.

                My BDSM personality is Switch, Brat Tamer, Brat, and Primal.  I have no idea what my wife would be and if I was to ask her to take the test to see what she is, she would either ignore the email or be appalled by it due to her cultural upbringing.

                Fell out of ... Answered on October 11, 2019.
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                  WOW! SC, you get high marks for all of that!

                  We are very much vanilla with a bit of strawberry or chocolate! We incorporate various body parts in sex and also household or kitchen utensils and such. We have had sex in public places and never been caught.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 11, 2019.
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                    Kinky for us has been/is:

                    Anal play (Mrs. Oldbear enjoys)

                    Light bondage

                    ABR (not ANR)

                    Fell out of ... Answered on October 11, 2019.

                    What’s the difference between ABR and ANR?  I have only heard ABR from you, otherwise I have always heard it referred to as ANR.

                    on October 11, 2019.

                    @SeekingChange, sorry for the confusion! I used ABR to mean a non-lactating ANR – not very clear. A better term for what we engage in would be an Adult Nurturing Relationship.

                    I found this explanation (slightly edited) on www.christian-anr.blogspot.com

                    “Anytime a man suckles his wife’s breast, the couple is engaged in a form of ANR or Adult Nursing Relationship. Most who are into ANR will have frequent sessions from nightly to as much as every couple hours. Some are now and then or maybe a few times a week. The time on the breast also varies with couples and their intent. Because ANR can be with or without lactation, some people consider ANR as more of a Adult Nurturing Relationship but most call it Adult Nursing Relationship. ABR or Adult Breastfeeding Relationship is the same as ANR. Some people like to say the goal of ABR is to get and keep her milk flowing.”

                    There are times when Mrs. Oldbear will offer her breast to me for suckling with no intent for it to lead to sex. My time on her breast may be a minute or five minutes. We find the experience to be an intimate time of enraptured, nurturing love.

                    on October 11, 2019.

                    I know what ANR is and have looked a little deeper into it several years ago, and I knew that it could be with lactation or without, that’s why I wasn’t sure what the difference was, since you made the distiction.  Actually the first time you mentioned on here, I believe in a question you asked yourself, I just figured you got mixed up with the term….because I interchange “breastfeeding” and “nursing” all the time IRL.  But here, you made it very clear you had a distinction.

                    Thanks for the explanation and clarification!

                    on October 11, 2019.

                    ““Anytime a man suckles his wife’s breast, the couple is engaged in a form of ANR or Adult Nursing Relationship. ”

                    ??? Does this apply to those moments during sex when a husband sucks on his wife’s nipples in order to arouse him/her/both further? And it seriously includes ‘drive-by’ sucking done with the same intent as if I were to caress his penis in passing while making dinner?

                    My DH has always been a breast man and his attention to my breasts has always been of sexual intent, whether he used his hands, his mouth, his penis, or any other body part. We have wondered together before whether he would feel the same sexual response if they ever became primarily the main source of sustenance for our child. (I never had that opportunity, so we will never know.) I tend to separate entirely the idea of him sucking on them with purely sexual intent vs. simply (what I am picturing as) while kicking back relaxing, as one might chew gum or smoke a pipe. Forgive me for sounding insulting; I truly don’t mean to cast aspersions on something that clearly gives you both much joy! That said, I think that if DH were to want to suck on them in that casual, not-directly-sexual way it would make me see him in the role of child, which would undercut his manliness and sexual attractiveness to me. Have I missed something? Am I misinterpreting the practice? Is there a facet of this practice that I have missed that might change my view?

                    Again, please forgive me, since I feel like explaining my negative thoughts about it implies judgement on your practice of it. There is no judgement!

                    on October 12, 2019.
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                      We have fooled around in somewhat public places like the car, but usually well hidden or just in our garage. Backyard a few times, once middle of the day but fenced and clothed (she wears a skirt). Open windows in hotels or on the balcony at night is a favorite. Only once did we do that fully nude.

                      Some anal play here and there with plugs but no anal sex.

                      Not something she participates in much, but I’m into female desperation and wetting (hold it when she needs to pee until she has an “accident”). Something I wish would happen more often but is generally just in fantasy. Very special occasion.

                      She enjoys keeping a short skirt on during sex, like a schoolgirl outfit, so we do that pretty regularly. That’s fun for both of us.

                      Queen bed Answered on October 13, 2019.

                      Short skirts are so much fun. Hiking the skirt and leaving it on during IC adds to the excitement and urgency.

                      3 days ago.
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                        For my list, anything other than standard PIV in missionary in the bedroom I’ll consider kinky.  I realize that for most here some or most of these items will be downright normal and you’ll go “wha, what’s so kinky about that?”.  But it’s a baseline so there you go. 🙂

                        1. Toy use, mainly various types of vibrators and dildos.

                        2. Oral sex, both of us giving and receiving.

                        3. Anal sex.

                        4. Using “food dildos” on her.  Usually cucumbers but a banana has been used a time or 2.

                        5. Finishing on her breasts.  Every once in a while she’ll let me finish on her face, but that’s a rarity and thus a very special treat.

                        6. She likes to video me masturbating for later viewing pleasure.

                        7. I like to take nude pics of her for later viewing pleasure.

                        8. Light bondage, with a hope of expanding it to harder stuff in the future.

                        9. Blindfolding for both of us.

                        10. Some pain play (mainly some smacks here and there).  I’d like to play with nipple clamps on her, but she’s not so sure as when we’ve played around with it outside normal lovemaking (using clothes pins as a stand in) she doesn’t find any pleasure in it.  She is willing to try it during LMing some time though so we’ll see.

                        11. I’ve bought her some kinkier than normal lingerie (cupless and crotchless).  It’s not her favorite (she tends to not like most lingerie) but she’ll wear it for me every once in a while.

                        12. Sex in various non-standard locations around the house (kitchen, stairs, garage).

                        13. Spitroasting her with me from behind and a dildo on the headboard.  This was fun but difficult for me to see the whole presentation.  I may video it the next time for a fuller enjoyment.

                        14. Using her breasts to ejaculate me.

                        Queen bed Answered 7 days ago.
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