Knee high boots, heels in the bedroom?

    Today’s question of the day inspired this post.  

    In colder weather and especially fall he likes when I wear knee high boots in the bedroom.  To be honest, at first, I was fine with going along with it, but it didn’t have much effect on me.  Over time the boots have an association with sex and now I have to admit it is something I enjoy too. Plus of course, the warmth.  Sometimes it’s the heeled leather boots I wear to work (after cleaning them up first) or sometimes flat riding boots with socks peeking out.  

    At first I struggled with the idea of an object causing arousal instead of something emotionally based, and that seemed contradictory to some of my interpretation of love and intimacy in the context of faith.  But I think it’s clear that the associated arousal of me in the boots, not the boots themselves is what’s happening.

    Are there other couples that enjoy this?  Do you ever question whether there is an issue that distracts from emotions?

    Ps sometimes it’s heels in the summer for a similar purpose 

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    7 Answer(s)

      I find very little difference between footwear and lingerie, in the bedroom. It’s all a matter of personal preference, as to what one finds arousing and beneficial to the atmosphere. 🙂 My husband likes sheer negligees, and I happen to adore short skirts and taaaaall boots. We all have our things, but I don’t think that it means our emotions take a backseat to the preference or kink. If someone were indiscriminately sleeping with others, based only on their desire to play out a kink, then I’d see that as a situation that plays directly to your concern. Playing with clothing as a part of your marriage adventure? Your emotions are intrinsically entwined in your interactions with your beloved. I wouldn’t worry that they are being lost along the way, because of high heels and boots. Have fun! ❤

      Queen bed Answered on November 6, 2019.
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        Wren, Thanks for your lovely and thoughtful post.  I’m not bold enough for short skirts, but I do like the way they look w my suits. Sometimes it’s even fun to wear them under jeans or pants, then tease that I have the tall boots underneath… later in the bedroom the pants come off right over the boots, and the boots  on! Haha…You implied really tall boots, I don’t have any that are over the knee and have been thinking about it.  I agree that this can continue in a healthy way and it would be nice to hear from some others on this topic 🙂

        Cot Answered on November 6, 2019.
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          It would be interesting to hear from some of the folks who have been married more than once whether they find the same things a turn-on with the second wife as they did with the first. (Kind of assuming widowhood here, since a divorce seems to imply to me problems that would almost certainly affect sexual intimacy.) But I’m guessing that if, for example, a man found tall boots a big turn on in his first wife, but they didn’t really do it for him in his second wife because he likes her barefoot and in his button-down shirt, then that could be a strong indication that the object that causes horniness is more a symbol of the relationship or a memory signal that causes the subconscious to send out a body-wide alert:  “SEX IS IMMINENT! GET EXCITED!” I feel like that is true regardless, but someone on a second marriage might confirm this for us.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on November 6, 2019.
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            “I think it’s clear that the associated arousal of me in the boots, not the boots themselves is what’s happening.”

            That is an interesting point and likely a helpful concept to learn and duplicate!

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on November 7, 2019.
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              I could see the thrill of this, if I had this style of boots, I would try it.

               

              Do you ever question whether there is an issue that distracts from emotions?”

              I kind of struggle with this question because of the use of the word “emotions”, but if I understand the heart correctly, I start questioning things when I feel my husband starts getting consumed, or even “mastered” by a certain desire.  He has a highly addictive personality, and I have a “radar” within that gives a little signal that says, “This may be moving into an unhealthy area for him.”  (One reason a wife may be a sexual gatekeeper. )  One common denominator in these circumstances is he becomes much more focused on himself and whatever it is he’s wanting at that time, and starts losing his consideration of me.

              We have so many toys we have tried, we have tried different props, positions, times, and places…. as long as I can feel that this is something we are doing together (there’s that emotional connection you are probably speaking of), I have no problem with experimenting with any of it.  The problem will come if he starts getting out of balance and he is focusing on himself and his wants, and in essence, is forgetting me and just using me for his own purposes.

              Under the stars Answered on November 7, 2019.
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                Thanks everyone for your comments, it would be interesting to hear someone chime in on the first marriage, 2nd marriage question. About the “sex is immenent” idea.. wearing the boots is a convenient way to signal when I’m in the mood. I do want to be careful that it doesn’t mean that’s the only time I’m in the mood, that is why it is only an occasional thing for us. It just happens to be peak fall boot weather at the moment! The last couple of weeks have been quite fun:) Some days I can just wear them without it meaning anything, but when I keep them on long after work is over then it’s more obvious. I think the anticipation of wearing them ALL day makes it more exciting. Sending flirty texts about it is better for both of us then me sending a photo of me in them. I dare anyone to try it sometime. Also, when they finally do come off it can feel as almost as good as an O!

                Cot Answered on November 7, 2019.
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                  A huge turn on for me is having sex with my wife while she is still in her high heels. I find that so arousing. Very similar!

                  Double bed Answered 3 days ago.
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