Ladies – Aroused Activity

    Ladies, once you are aroused, how active are you with your husband? Do you simply lay back and let him pleasure you? Or are you still actively engaged in giving your husband pleasure at the same time?

    Next, once aroused, do you head straight towards orgasm? Or is it a meandering exploration of pleasure towards a a general goal?

    Last, what might help you engage in meandering exploration when all you’ve ever done is a straight path towards orgasm? Or what are some activities that would be mutually pleasurable?

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      I think it should be fairly clear by  now that any ladies who frequent this board understand that “just lie there and think of England” was a very bad bit of advice to be so oft repeated.

      For anyone just joining us, if you have been thinking of England and want to engage more, try telling yourself you aren’t going to O this time (after all, what’s one? You can do without one!*) but are going to focus on, examine, and enjoy every sensation that occurs anyway. You are in a unique position with regard to your husband: you should know him, and that includes his body, better than anyone else. Learn him. Learn his responses. Learn every little thing he likes and then do it. Let your pleasure come from giving him pleasure and knowing you are the ONE woman who does, and that you give him SO MUCH pleasure. There are few things more arousing than having a man who loves you and is committed for life to you panting and eager under your ministrations. The more you focus on how much you love your husband and how much fun it is to play his body like an instrument to give him a symphony of pleasure, the more pleasure YOU will actually experience and you may well O after all.

      You are still chasing your own pleasure, but you are finding pleasure in your husband and his body rather than simply in your own physical response.

      *(CAVEAT: Those ladies who have not been able to O previously might still give this a try, but I answered from the perspective of the questioner implying she is able to routinely reach O.  My comments are NOT meant to make anyone feel they have not loved their husbands generously enough, or that attempting to experience O is an unworthy goal!)

      Under the stars Answered on July 3, 2020.
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        I wonder how prevalent the “just lie there, it will be over soon” still is? In advice and in practice? I wonder how the overwhelming influx of porn has changed that?

        On the floor Answered on July 3, 2020.

        I don’t know. I was never given that advice, but I know it was the common thread for a long time and I’m sure remnants of that thinking have filtered down. There may also be a bit of thinking that says the man is the one who most wants sex, therefore it is his responsibility to make it great, or the old double standard that it’s okay (at least in a wink-wink way, if not specifically stated) for guys to know about sex before marriage, but for a girl to be knowledgeable enough to participate would indicate her low morals and likelihood of being “used goods”. Then again, I have always liked old-fashioned things and could be assuming some out-of-date thinking that I witness vicariously that is not actually still happening. 😉

        on July 4, 2020.
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          When we make love I try my best to see that he has an O. In the process my efforts (positioning, squeezing, etc) usually mean I get more Os, because when he’s doing well, it means more pleasure for me. I try to bring him as much pleasure as possible. I am so grateful for the privilege of being his lover. Thankfully, he enjoys bringing me pleasure, too, so all is good!

          We take turns being the more physically active participant based on position, although 2/3 of the time he is working harder, I think, when it comes to IC.

          Some times we meander but usually we move quickly due to high states of arousal. #newlyweds. I often tease him slowly and occasionally he does the same. Being restrained or told to lie still (with no mutual touching) means you have to just accept the sensations, which if done slowly leads to a beautiful meandering journey, IMO.

          King bed Answered on July 3, 2020.
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