Ladies, we often hear from the husbands how
they wish their wives would do this/that, be this/that way, have more enthusiasm, etc., in the marriage bed. What about the wives? What do you wish (being completely honest but respectful) your husbands would do? Be it a position, an attitude, a desire?
As for me and my husband, i would say nothing. He’s a wonderful lover and even though i love it when he takes charge in the MB, he knows what i like and how to please me. My wishes would be FOR HIM (like ED to be resolved, more pleasure, etc.) however i am exceedingly grateful that although our MB has been very vanilla for years (didn’t know any better, really…and due to health) he has been receptive to just about anything i have brought to the MB when it comes to learning what i have on the forum. I only hope he continues as, for me, the biggest turn off in a man is prudishness and selfishness as a lover.
Edit: i did think of one thing, i asked my husband if he was ever interested in finishing ON me and he said NOT. It is something i wouldn’t mind him doing.
I have been thinking about this and struggling with it. Right now, my answer would be around foreplay. He’s never realy honed his skills with it, but I also know I have conditioned him that way.
I might be back with more, after more thought.
From this DW of just bout 30 yrs of marriage…. he loves and enjoys tooooo much fore play! Yes he feels he cums too quickly (true) and wants to make it last longer …. but once excited – I want to cum ( not be edged like he likes)
In thinking , guess the benefits we wives have is ability to orgasm in multiples, which changes our expectations- thus plz let me cum (several times – his hands, his tongue, his erection, out toys etc)!! Then I will tease and edge and slowly please him.
I’ve given a lot of thought to this, and I think for me it’s raising awareness that the female body responds in myriad ways to our hormonal patterns. Sometimes I need foreplay. Other times, the very thought of it is repulsive. Sometimes, touching certain parts of my body will produce fireworks. Other times, the same touch will make me slightly queasy. And sometimes, I don’t know which feeling I’m going to get until it happens. I get instinctively defensive and shy away quickly.
It took me a long time to have the courage to say these things to my husband once I realized what the issue was. It took an even longer time to convince him that it wasn’t a personal slight against him or his skills. I can’t control my body’s reactions.
A beautiful thing about the intricacies of the female body is that it encourages better communication between wife and husband. I wish I had realized that earlier in marriage, instead of just last summer.
First, everything I have ever asked of my DH, he has made an attempt to do for me. Sometimes I think I have fallen into the trap of thinking when I have a lack of response it is all down to his approach, and the truth is that sometimes his approach is a little lacking (nobody’s perfect ALL the time!) and sometimes I just don’t respond (for all the reasons we have discussed frequently here.) That said, at this point in my emotional growth I would really love a lot more emphasis on how he cherishes, adores, is fascinated by and can’t get enough of me. I would like to feel that he ponders all the things he loves about me and feels overwhelming emotion when he looks at me. I would like to see him looking at me, in and out of bed, like he thinks I am a miracle. I want him to tell me I am adorable, I am cute, I am gorgeous, (basically any complimentary word besides his two go-tos, “beautiful” and “sexy” which are fine but have lost much of their meaning and rarely include any serious emotion.) The light-heartedness and humor that makes our home and family so much fun is in this case a bit of a detriment because while playful compliments are great, I occasionally want him to be seriously stunned and awed by me.
It is not a lack of willingness to please me that keeps this from happening; it is simply his personality. He is not wired for overwhelming emotion and has never been prone to pondering. I’m learning to translate his acts of service into the message I long to hear. (But you asked, so I told the truth.)