Lingerie, what do you do?
So, with VDay coming up, this question came to mind. I bought dear wife some lingerie over the holidays for Cmas & VDay that I wanted to see her in, my idea of sexy (lacy…racy…and some garter belt/hose…and another that doesn’t cover up her upper assets). 😀
Background: wife prefers “cute” and comfortable BUT she knows what my idea and faves are and uses that to her advantage with what she has/got when we married 3 yrs ago. These are my first purchases for her and she’s been good about the choices….and knew what I was considering/looking at certain things, even with her online a few times. Her only comment at that time was, “you do know that I won’t look like that in it, right?” I was like, “you will look spectacular!”
MEN: do you buy sexy lingerie for your wife? Would she wear it? Confidently? Why or why not?
WOMEN: if your husband bought sexy lingerie (his idea of sexy) for you, would you wear it? Confidently? Why or why not? What is important to you to feel from him?
On a side note, I ordered from HONORING INTIMATES which I found through this site. They have nice stuff and their sale stuff is great too.
My husband has ordered something once and it was given to me in a way, that there was an expectation to put it on immediately for the rest of the planned night. I did it, very aware of how it accentuated my flaws. I may have made a comment about me to show awareness of my flaws. The whole time, I had to really work at keeping my mind from going to the place of negativity with shame and wanting to hide. I believe my husband saw some confidence, because I was intentional to not hide and to stand straight and keep my head up, but in reality, when that far out of one’s comfort zone and feeling exposed (naked and ashamed), it’s actually hard to get out of that mental battle and into that sexual groove.
Now, having a piece of lingerie that I feel compliments, and somewhat camouflages the flaws, takes away that mental battle, can actually bolster confidence, and makes it easier to get into the sexual groove.
IMO, it’s actually easier to be completely nude, than to wear a piece(s) of lingerie that seems to accentuate our flaws. At least being nude, he sees me as a whole. Certain pieces can be like neon flashing signs pointing to that stomach that has all kinds of extras from carrying babies, or whatever other flaws we have.
I would wear it, and wear it confidently. He has seen every inch of me, anyway, so what does it matter, which parts are hidden, accented, etc.
DH doesn’t care for lingerie much, so I rarely use it. If he bought me a piece, it would be very special. Our tastes are mostly the same. He does love nightshirts and has bought a couple for me. Lol they aren’t worn to bed though, just before. Plus, I am difficult to fit, so he generally wouldn’t risk ordering or buying something without checking fit. He also wouldn’t be caught in a lingerie store, not even with me!
My wife can be particular when it comes clothing and usually like to get her stuff herself so I’ve only bought her 2 pieces of lingerie during our marriage. One was a white baby doll piece for our first Christmas as newlyweds. I was extremely nervous going into the store to buy it (a locally owned women’s clothing place) but the owner was very understanding and helpful with sizes and such. My wife seemed to enjoy it as it was pretty modest as lingerie goes (not lacey or see-thru, just silky and sensual). The second piece was numerous years later. I wanted to get her something racey and went to one of the adult stores in town (nowadays I’d go online but that wasn’t as popular back then) and bought her a purple lacey, cupless, crotchless teddy. She was very apprehensive about it and it took her several months to work up the courage to wear it. She looks fantastic in it and it turns me own every time she wears it, but it’s still only on rare occasions (probably no more than 5 times total). I’d like to do some online shopping with her and we can compromise on some new stuff. 🙂
Lingerie is something we are working on. I love to wear it, and would absolutely love it if he bought me something.
He prefers nudity to lingerie. However, I have a simple chemise I wear frequently because it’s comfortable. I don’t think of it as sexy, but he said the other night that it’s the thing he loves to see the most on me. That’s so helpful to me. He was trained by an abusive father not to express his opinions, so it’s rare for me to hear just what he likes. It makes it tough to read our relationship at times.
So husbands, I say to discover your wife’s preferences and go for it if you’re into it. We can’t grow our marriages without being a little bold sometimes. If she doesn’t like it, then you’ve just found a new conversation that can help you grow closer.
I would wear it. He very much likes lingerie but has never purchased any for me. That is left for me to do. Though my body is not what it was over 25 years ago I would still feel confident enough to wear it. Knowing he would be pleased is all that matters to me. It would be special for him to take the initiative to order something for me, it would make me feel like he has a interest in our intimacy and it feel less one sided to me.
I don’t. She is not very receptive to me buying any article of clothing for her – I think that goes back to her having a very patriarchal father and the ways he controlled her mother in many ways. I do like lingerie, and she will wear it on special occasions but not typically. I think she prefers to be totally nude and feels more comfortable that way.
I don’t. The first year we were married I bought her a teddie and I thought it would look great on her… she agreed to put it on but quickly took it off (before I even saw her in it) and took it back and exchanged it for a flannel nightgown…. .
She isn’t fat… but is short and busty… and says that it is very hard for her to find stuff off the rack that fits her correctly. And she HATES most of the styles what she finds in the stores today for women her age (65)…. As others have stated, she is more comfortable nude (with very little light… maybe a candle or two) than wearing something sexy that she says doesn’t fit.
(About 30 years ago she surprised me one night wearing a stretchy teddie with 3 snaps in the crotch… Ooo Lala!)
I’ve purchase plenty of sexy lingerie over the years for Mrs. Youngbear/Oldbear. However, sexy is in the eye of the beholder as well as the wearer of the lingerie!
Pushing the edges of sexy, tantalizing, and titillating (in my eyes) lingerie resulted in a candid conversation with Mrs. Youngbear some years ago. With great anticipation, I bought and packaged up a couple of lingerie ensembles that at the time could only be purchased clandestinely. Mrs. Youngbear expressed her reluctance to wear “prostitutes in a brothel” lingerie.
That learning experience and good conversation about sexy lingerie that makes us, ahem, mutually horny has served us well. Mrs, Oldbear and I really get turned on by surplice chamises or gowns that make her feel sexy by the way they cover and fall around her breasts and give me access to her beautiful breasts. We now enjoy lingerie for her that is sexy in the eyes of this beholder and her own bodily response.
I like lingerie, however, my DW not so much. She has some nice panties and teddies that she will wear on occasion, but in general she prefers to be naked. Because our tastes our different I would not try buying something without her approval. We were actually discussing this topic the other day and I suggested maybe we go shopping together. Not sure if that will happen but here is hoping!