Making Sex and Foreplay More Visually Stimulating
My DH and I both discovered that we enjoy the visual aspect of sex quite a bit. As I mentioned previously I’m still building my body confidence after having a baby, but I think I can use this as an opportunity.
Sex Positions: What positions would you recommend that are visually stimulating? (We bought a large mirror for the bedroom and that has already had a very positive impact)
Sexting/Nudes: Do you think it would be worth it for me to try to take some sexy photos and send them to my DH? Any advice on poses, outfits, etc?
Watching Your Partner Masturbate: We have done mutual masturbation a few times and have really enjoyed it, but have not tried watching as the other person masturbates.
Pubic Hair Grooming: I was thinking about surprising my DH by fully waxing my pubic hair. I usually just trim or leave some hair at the top. Was thinking this could be a fun change and enhance oral sex and make it more visual.
Sex Toys: Have never really looked into sex toys (dildos, vibrators, etc), but thought that may be a great way for him to watch me or to use them on me. Any recommendations?
Please share any suggestions and thanks so much for your advice.
Also, if you can, shower together. It’s a great time to view and connect. It doesn’t have to be sexual. We love to shower to unwind and connect with each other. It’s relaxing. DW loves when I wash her hair and I love it when she washes my my lower regions, back and she bought special shampoo for my beard which she loves and finishes again with my penis and pubic region again. Sometimes it leads to sex but other times, it doesn’t which makes it a part of our rhythm of life and love and it also communicates to DW that she means more to me than my personal sexual fulfillment, which deepens our connection too.
Positions: Doggy is great. Reverse cow girl or woman on top are nice too! 69 is nice, but a little difficult to watch lol!
Sexting. When it comes to pics, sometimes less isn’t more. Pictures that tease are amazing!
Watching. If you want to include edging, that would be a great way to stretch the enjoyment of watching and feeling.
Grooming. You might try dying your pubes for him. Go for a different color!
Toys. You need a magic wand – very much a multipurpose toy.
Have you tried a striptease for him?
Here are some ideas for you…
- Lay naked on the bed and give him directions about what to do (kiss her…lick there…rub, etc). You direct BUT make it slow.
- Tie him up, even get some bed bucklers so you can sprawl him out on the bed AND more importantly, touch, kiss, suck, rub him BUT he can’t physically involved unless you put yourself where he might get a breast or vulva in his face for a moment. Get naked and get all over him….tease him physically…tease him visually….get him worked up, then back off and let him look at you but be unable to respond because of the ties.
- Tell him he can’t touch, then get naked, and slowly masturbate for him.
POSITIONS: I love doggie (also with a mirror). Standing with me on the edge of the bed. I forget what the position is officially called (something like “garden position #7”?. I and others have written about it before on the forum). I’m kneeling while DW is on her back but kind of on her side (you can use a Liberator wedge or a pillow). I bring one of her legs over my shoulder and because she’s on her back/side, we both can touch everything and it’s a GREAT view with her breasts bouncing to the motion and rhythm and it allows for deep penetration.
PICS: Yes, be smart and safe. That’ said, you can also just tease him with risqué or partially covered pics. I love it when DW starts with something sultry and starts flirting with me, especially when I’m not away on business and in town…’cause that means she’s thinking about me and some activities for when I come home later. 😀 Because of what she may send, I changed my settings so I can preview anything. You may want to come up with some ground rules for the pics. Can he keep them safely or does he need to delete them so other can’t mistakenly find/see.
Sex Positions: Definitely second the suggestion for the Seventh Posture with Liberator wedge and ramp. Very comfortable and relaxing with easy access. Add a toy or two including nipple jewelry. Oral with good eye contact. Use pillows if you’re in bed so you can see the action.
Sexting/Nudes: We find that close ups that don’t really identify ourselves work well in case the wrong people see them.
Watching Your Partner Masturbate: Probably one of the best ways to learn about yourself and share that with your spouse. Include toys.
Pubic Hair Grooming: Waxing really makes things better for us. I’m so much more sensitive when bare and smooth and DH loves the look and feel. I like that he grooms that area too. Oral is better.
Sex Toys: There are so many choices for the two of you to use together or solo. See Masturbation above. Find something you’d like to try and don’t be afraid to push the envelope a bit. A clitoris vibrator is always a good start. If you find a size and shape you like, I think you’ll find that quality brands are worth the money.
Best of luck on your discovery journey!
Positions: We’ve found that side-of-the-bed positions are great. Getting the bed height right is the tricky part, but once we got it down we were thrilled. Look up “Butterfly”, “Packing the Suitcase”, and “Man on Fire” (rear entry) at Christian-Friendly Sex Positions, and look up their “similar positions”. Also, lighting is a big deal. Try several options, including natural lighting!
Sexting: Just be careful to keep things private.
Toys: Most people here seem to be toy positive. I’m more toy neutral and would add them slowly and only if you feel they would help. (We do use vibrators.) Regardless, make sure to communicate very well with DH on this. As long as you’re on the same page, you should do well. It’s quite easy to hurt a man’s feelings with a dildo that can be seen as a “replacement” of him.
Sexting/Nudes: I can tell you…Men are visual…or is it just me?? Yes take selfies…lots of them…make them teasers that lead up to being nude…make sure you warn him first so he doesn’t open it around other people…ask me how I know!
Pubic Hair Grooming: Again…visual…most men would love this…I would if she decided to go this route…
I think you are on the right page. Here are some thoughts:
Positions – If your DH enjoys the visual of you touching yourself, do it in positions where he can watch and enjoy. Also, and position where y’all can see everything would be good. Incorporating the mirrors is a good start for that. Setup a camera that displays to a TV or computer that allows y’all to watch more. Bonus to record and watch it later as a means of foreplay with each other.
Sexting – Do it. Nothing is more exciting then when I get a photo or short video from the wife. There are quite a few apps that will allow y’all to do it and keep things private and secure.
Masturbation – I think you just have to experiment more with this one. Watch each other a few times and then decide if it a turn on for both or just one. I like watching my wife, but she is 0% visual in that manner. You may find to be the same way.
Pubic hair – Just communicate on this one. What does he want, what do you want?
Toys – Similar to masturbation. But, if you want to really blow his mind, find a type of toy that may be at the edge of your comfort zone and not anything like you have now.
I applaud y’all for being willing to experiment!
Kudos for being willing to step out and try all this!
Sex Positions: What positions would you recommend that are visually stimulating? We like doggy and all its variations. Also, the Seventh Posture position (from the Perfumed Garden) is a great one for visual stimulation. WOT or reverse cowgirl are both great, too, if you can make them work.
Sexting/Nudes: Do you think it would be worth it for me to try to take some sexy photos and send them to my DH? Any advice on poses, outfits, etc? Absolutely. We’re always super careful, using only secure apps (Signal is a great one, but there are lots of others) and secure storage. Let me know if you want some specific tips. Clothing, poses, etc are very individual. Anything that shows off your best assets and also exudes confidence and sensuality is a winner.
Watching Your Partner Masturbate: We have done mutual masturbation a few times and have really enjoyed it, but have not tried watching as the other person masturbates. Agreed. This was a game changer for us!
Pubic Hair Grooming: I was thinking about surprising my DH by fully waxing my pubic hair. I usually just trim or leave some hair at the top. Was thinking this could be a fun change and enhance oral sex and make it more visual. Yep. We’ve never waxed–shaving works just fine for us. So you may want to start there. Less painful and less expensive. But we certainly love the look–both of us shave mostly bare.
Sex Toys: Have never really looked into sex toys (dildos, vibrators, etc), but thought that may be a great way for him to watch me or to use them on me. Any recommendations? This is a matter of personal preference and discussion. We’ve mostly enjoyed her bullet vibe, but we have also enjoy various phallic-shaped vibrators as well.