“Masculinity is not our Enemy”

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-minds-boys-and-girls/201901/masculinity-is-not-our-enemy

    His specific POV is talking about the American Psychological Association on their view of masculinity and how removing masculinity is the solution (who made them God?..which is the crux of the problem)

    My husband and i constantly point out how specifically commercials (and probably television shows namely sitcoms but we don’t watch them) constantly and almost exclusively portray men, especially dads as inept, not very intelligent, certainly not up on anything, pretty much the only contribution he makes to the family is one of the bread winners and a sperm bank (sorry for being crass).  Even if the commercial isn’t about a dad but has a man and woman in the commercial selling a specific product, it’s always–almost always-i think i saw it only once the other way around-the woman looking superior and the man having the incorrect product or answer.  This has been going on FOR YEARS and is a deliberate undermining of male leadership and masculinity and it is sad…

    Not to mention i now see gays being portrayed in commercials and i’ve seen two commercials now where the woman is proposing marriage to the man. I guess we can argue that there’s nothing wrong with that but it is against tradition.

    Fell out of ... Asked on January 26, 2020 in None of The Above.

    Traditions vary and change with time. Masculinity can be taken to an extreme like it is in the Muslim faith.

    You must have really not liked the commercial with two women getting married.

    on January 28, 2020.
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    6 Answer(s)

      A very good blog post. Glad PT published it. I remember this topic being discussed 5 or 6 years ago on TMB. Specifically the shows were Modern Family and Everbody Loves Raymond. It seems as though the human condition tries to right wrongs by going overboard in the other direction. Maybe we will see these ideas get to a point of equilibrium, where both males and females are treated as intelligent people.

      Speaking of commercials, I’ve been bothered by the Downy Unstopables one because I thought it featured a M to F transgender who is dancing. I finally looked it up and I was wrong; it really is a woman. She sure looks like Mrs Doubtfire to me!

      Fell out of ... Answered on January 26, 2020.

      Yes i’ve seen that commercial, they rarely show it and she looks homosexual, very masculine looking and that dance move at the end, IMO, was extremely inappropriate! It’s a Downy commercial after all

      on January 26, 2020.

      I totally agree. Very inappropriate and just plain weird.

      on January 28, 2020.
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        I agree SOA.  There is a lot against young men these days.  They are now taught from an early age that their nature (masculinity) is bad and needs to be squelched or eliminated.  This isn’t working out very well and is producing a bunch of boy men who disconnect, give up, and never get off the couch or do anything.  They certainly aren’t going to step up and handle the business they are supposed to, resulting in women having to shoulder much more burden themselves.  It is a bad deal for everyone.

        This makes it all the more important to teach young men and young women to become who God made them to be.

        Hammock Answered on January 26, 2020.
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          I can’t say too much about this topic without sacrificing anonymity, but I’m directly involved in being part of the solution in 3 aspects of my life. I guess that you could say helping to remedy this situation *is* my life. There are many of us out there. Pleas such as are found in this article don’t fall on deaf ears.

          I found the portion dedicated to changing the therapist’s office most interesting. I know there has been a high degree of frustration in the psych community over the difficulties surrounding men and mental health treatment. I feel that his hypothesis, that therapy situations are more conducive to women, is probably valid. I hope it can be explored more. More women are diagnosed with mental illness than men, and I know the psych community is fearful that too many men are just hiding it.

          On the floor Answered on January 26, 2020.

          Well I suffer burning curiosity now! Are you famous? You don’t have to answer that; if I were a cat I’d be long dead.

          on January 27, 2020.

          Lol, not famous, just easily findable online. My particular situation between career, hobby, and life experience are a rare combination. I know of zero women who have my experience. I’m sure they’re out there. I just haven’t met any in real life or online.

          on January 29, 2020.
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            Thanks for sharing that article! I’m so glad to see this view embraced in Psychology Today, which can sometimes skew toward humanistic opinions. I firmly believe one of the biggest problems our society faces in its future is the lack of men who know how to be men. It’s great that we are no longer oppressing women, but we definitely seem to be swinging like a pendulum in the extreme opposite direction. I’ve always wondered whenever I would hear a statement about anything that includes special emphasis/attention/treatment of women; when the total group is inherently 50/50, neither can be “more special” than the other, because the remainder is just as large a group as the would-be “special” group. You can’t pick out males or females to be “extra” over the other because in quantity, they are more or less equal.

            Anyway, I am fascinated to learn the idea of the male brain being cerebellum dependent!  For me with a DH who has a terrible time talking about feelings, the idea of helping him have an easier time of that by walking while we talk could possibly be a game changer. I’m certainly going to try it!!

            The only downside to this post is that I am once again reminded what a tragedy it is that my very appropriately masculine DH was not given the opportunity to raise a son. He does influence the young men who come into his life, but it’s not the same. My DH’s son would have been amazing.

            Under the stars Answered on January 27, 2020.
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              My sister has said to me more that once, about our current culture….”Our husbands are in the most hated group right now as white, Christian men.”

              Under the stars Answered on January 28, 2020.
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                I am proudly a testosterone-filled, red blooded Christian male, to which even my 17 y/o bonus daughter admitted it this morning while rolling her eyes because she knows what testosterone does besides put hair on one’s chest and in my case, every part of my body. Yes, I am a human sweater or bear. Go ahead and laugh, I’ve heard it all. 😀

                I will also add that I’ve raised 3 boys to be gentlemen, not be wimps, and to serve women…and I’ve instructed my bonus daughters that any boys come around for a date, they better do 3 things: 1) ask Mom & I to take you out, 2) don’t get in a vehicle until the boy opens & closes your door for you, stand outside the car and wait!!! and 3) if he doesn’t come in and texts you he’s waiting outside, you’re not going out that night. Respect & take pride in yourself and therefore, expect and demand courtesy and respect from a boy. YOU ARE SPECIAL and WORTH IT!!!

                On the floor Answered on January 28, 2020.
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