Masturbating together to fill in the gaps…

    Anyone else here have regular side-by-side masturbation sessions with their spouse to “fill in the gaps” between times of full intercourse?

    We have busy lives with a lot of kids and a lot of activities, so we find ourselves desiring sexual intimacy more often than we have the energy or time for.

    We discovered a few years ago that if we agree to masturbate side by side, it still creates intimacy, we both get an orgasm, and it doesn’t take as long as full intercourse (plus there’s no cleanup for her, which she likes). Anyway, I thought I’d see if anyone else does this as a regular part of their marriage bed. It’s been a huge help for us, and sometimes, it even turns into regular PIV intercourse.

    IMO, it’s much better if you manually stimulate each other. I’m sure my wife can do a much better job than I could be able to do on myself.

    on May 1, 2019.
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    16 Answer(s)

      Been married almost 30 yrs – some nights too exhausted to worry about spouse completing – yet feel the need to release. We have don every the mutual masterbating many a nights: works wonders for both – not to mention it is extremely erotic to watch your spouse do that – and with the mutual thing – much easier to arrive at point of no return at same time together

      Queen bed Answered on April 29, 2019.
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        We don’t. May I ask how often do you do this? What is your typical sexual schedule look like? Is it for the release, or intimacy, you do this rather than just bypass that night?

        Under the stars Answered on April 28, 2019.

        our typical schedule that we got used to is about 2-3 times per week. As our kids have gotten older with more activities, and with her having to start working in order for us to make ends meet, we just don’t have as much time as we used to. We were noticing that our level of intimacy and release was down, so we started doing this to fill in the gaps. It really helps. We have PIV about once a week, sometimes twice, and we “fill in the gaps” with side by side masturbation. We talk to each other during and touch each other and it’s actually quite intimate and fun but goes a lot quicker and is much easier when we’re tired. It’s really helped keep up intimacy levels in our marriage.

        on April 28, 2019.

        Sounds like it’s working for you! I think it is great that you are proactively making an effort to keep up the intimacy in spite of a season of other obligations. Best wishes to you both!

        on April 28, 2019.

        thanks!

        on April 29, 2019.
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          Great idea…My wife has an aversion to masturbating or touching herself.  Still, this is a great idea, GB.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on April 29, 2019.
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            Thanks so much for the idea and sharing how it is working for you.  Honestly, side-by-side masturbating isn’t something we’ve done but, inspired by your post, will likely give it a try soon.

            So we do each masturbate solo and for each other.  For us, it’s a way to continually explore and discover things about ourselves and to then share those things with each other.  Kind of a show-and-tell!  We even call them Lunch-N-Learns though sharing at lunch time isn’t really all that frequent.  Other times of the day are!

             

            Fell out of ... Answered on April 29, 2019.
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              I think it’s a valid option. Certainly better than doing nothing or masturbating privately.

              I’d be tempted to suggest head to toe so each can get a good view of the other. You could also reach over and help a bit if you wanted.

              Of course then one of you have to turn around after.  😉

              Fell out of ... Answered on April 29, 2019.
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                Thanks for the delightful idea. No, we haven’t played that way (yet) but now curious to try! 🙃

                Fell out of ... Answered on April 29, 2019.
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                  Yeah we do this sometimes – for the same reason. Good solution!

                  Twin bed Answered on April 30, 2019.
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                    We engage in lots of side-by-side mutual masturbation. In our older years it’s allowed us to enjoy the pleasure of each other without any performance pressure.

                    Under the stars Answered on May 1, 2019.
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                      We do all the time. We only do full PIV sex about once a month, but masturbate next to each other 2 or 3 times a week. We do not masturbate without the others knowledge.

                      On the floor Answered on May 6, 2019.
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                        We don’t do this but lately I’ve really been thinking about suggesting it for this exact reason.  The other week I wanted to go down on her so bad but knew she probably didn’t want intercourse (she has a sensitivity she’s trying to figure out that makes PIV quickly create soreness and we had just had intercourse one or two days ago).  After I finished bringing her to O I was so aroused I instinctively started masturbating.  She asked what I was doing and I told her pleasuring myself because she was so hot and I couldn’t help myself.  She smiled and then while I was masturbating she was just caressing me and touching me and we were kissing.  I felt so close and connected to her and I was really surprised she wasn’t grossed out or something.  It was so intimate and now I can’t help but think what mutual masturbation together might be like.  You’ve really got the wheels in my head turning!

                        Double bed Answered on July 5, 2019.

                        awesome!

                        on July 8, 2019.

                        Nice!

                        on May 16, 2020.
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