Masturbating together to fill in the gaps…

    Anyone else here have regular side-by-side masturbation sessions with their spouse to “fill in the gaps” between times of full intercourse?

    We have busy lives with a lot of kids and a lot of activities, so we find ourselves desiring sexual intimacy more often than we have the energy or time for.

    We discovered a few years ago that if we agree to masturbate side by side, it still creates intimacy, we both get an orgasm, and it doesn’t take as long as full intercourse (plus there’s no cleanup for her, which she likes). Anyway, I thought I’d see if anyone else does this as a regular part of their marriage bed. It’s been a huge help for us, and sometimes, it even turns into regular PIV intercourse.

    IMO, it’s much better if you manually stimulate each other. I’m sure my wife can do a much better job than I could be able to do on myself.

    on May 1, 2019.
    Add Comment
    16 Answer(s)

      Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

      We don’t do this. Mostly because we don’t have too many gaps or let them get longer than a couple of days. Or the one who has the greater or more imminent need, gets the attention from the other. Also, we haven’t really thought of doing this either lol!

      Under the stars Answered on April 28, 2019.
      Add Comment

        We don’t do this either. If we are going to do something similar to this, we will help each other out with our hands. It can get done pretty quick that way.

        Double bed Answered on April 29, 2019.

        right. We actually do help each other out during in some way. Maybe I didn’t communicate that clearly enough.

        on April 29, 2019.
        Add Comment

          We don’t do this, if we are going to do anything  to “fill in the gaps” so to speak it’s usually a quickie (intercourse less than 5 minutes,  he orgasms I do not).  For me sex where I orgasm, even if I’m stimulating myself is more work than just intercourse.  It takes more effort on my part (mentally and physically) to orgasm even  if I’m the one bringing myself there than just a quickie does.   I’m not saying I don’t want more sex where we both orgasm, I do that’s my preference for sure, but on a night where I’m really tired what you describe would take more of my energy than just a quickie would.

          I’m glad its working for you though.

          On the floor Answered on April 29, 2019.

          I feel the same way and this is my experience. It seems to be a win/win for us because his preference would be PIV over MB.

          on April 29, 2019.

          That makes sense. Because my wife always reaches orgasm so quickly (too quickly, sometimes), it’s best if we always do something that results in orgasms for both of us. Since full-on PIV always takes longer, we prefer to do something quicker sometimes that still results in orgasms for both of us.

          on April 29, 2019.
          Add Comment

            We don’t do this either, but, as has been said, it works for you.  We have scheduled time and it seems the we only break the schedule when either of us is exhausted.  The schedule seems to provide a placebo to what will in the schedule.  If that makes sense to you.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on April 29, 2019.

            Understood. It works for us as an alternative to PIV when we don’t feel we have enough time, but I understand if it might not appeal to some.

            on April 29, 2019.
            Add Comment

              It’s not a regular part of our sex life, but we’ve tried this out a couple times. It’s been a nice option when due to circumstances (recent baby, one of us is sick, etc) we wanted to be intimate, but other options weren’t the best.

              I never felt right about finishing myself, though, so I always asked DW to lend a hand once I got close. I feel great about her reaching orgasm by herself when we’re together though! I feel like I learn a lot watching how and where she touches, and what her body signals are.

              Twin bed Answered on June 25, 2019.
              Add Comment

                Have you considered using condoms during PIV to avoid mess. Is oral sex part of marriage bed?

                Queen bed Answered on April 29, 2019.

                Yes, we used to use condoms to avoid any mess during PIV, but we never found any condom type we really liked, so as soon as we didn’t need them for BC, we gave them up. Oral sex is a fairly frequent part of our marriage bed, but again, it requires a lot of effort, so we might as well have PIV sex, if we’re going to do oral. The point of side-by-side masturbation is orgasms for both with minimal effort.

                on May 8, 2019.
                Add Comment

                Your Answer

                By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.