Nudity in entertainment
I’m interested in hearing from wives especially on how they feel about the nudity issue in media especially since there is FAR more female nudity, i’d estimate it’s probably around 85% of movies and possibly television have some sort of female nudity (i’m not talking about cleavage or immodest dress).
Leaving the “sin” issue out, i have a real problem with it and H and i have down-graded our cable to cut out most of the unedited movie channels (although basic cable is pretty much opening the flood gates, i’m sure it’s just a matter of time) but it used to really bother me as even though i have an absolutely wonderful husband who thinks i’m gorgeous, doesn’t have a problem with porn or active lusting at all, that he could at any time see a naked woman just by turning on the screen (TV or internet).
i’ve since tried to compartmentalize my feelings and not internalize them if that makes sense (because at some point we will see it) as i know my husband doesn’t like to see it anymore than i do. I was pretty happy with myself that in one movie we were watching (i didn’t look it up on IMDB before we watched, i also don’t want to be my husbands “Holy Spirit”) of course…there was a fully naked woman in one scene and i felt nothing which is better than feeling awful inside and angry.
I remember reading one woman’s lament on a message board about the same thing-the overwhelming amount of female nudity and how she didn’t want to be the 3rd or 4th woman her husband has seen naked that day and i completely relate to her but of course she was shot down and belittled, mainly by the men on the forum,
I’ve come a long way in not letting it make me feel bad inside so of that i am grateful….i am not comparing myself to those random actresses but i am coveting my husbands eyes to be only on me (with out condemnation for sure). I would actually rather feel nothing or shrug it off rather than what i used to feel but also i would rather not that we (especially he) see it at all.
(oh, also, i didn’t know exactly where this belonged so i posted it in Lust)
We both like movies and TV (and also reading as well as writing works of fiction). For us, it’s all about the story. We choose TV and movies based on the stories we like and if nudity pops up, usually we just make a joke about it–“Whoa! She should’ve packed a shirt!” or “Whoops! She walked right out of that dress!” We end up looking at each other instead of the screen (the simultaneous turn to each other and make a funny face that usually has a sound effect in a movie.) Hubby always says he would far rather look at me any day.
We don’t avoid movies for language, either, unless it gets really out of hand, nor do I refuse to eat seafood salad because it always has celery in it or take my daughter out of school because some girls dress like hookers in spite of dress codes. We ignore the language, pick around the celery, and teach our daughter that when you wear skirts that short, people think you’re a hooker.
Of course, if the nudity overwhelms the story, the curse words overflow the dialogue, the celery outweighs the imitation crab or my daughter ever became the distinct minority in dressing sensibly, then it’s not worth it and we pass. (Or yank our daughter out of school.)
For those interested my DW and I use kids-in-mind.com to review movies. It’s a great resource for checking out movies before watching them because they do an in depth review on them and tell you exactly what nudity is in the movie, how many times the F bomb is dropped, etc.
I honestly can’t remember the last time we saw a show or movie with female nudity in it….it seems we have seen some comidies with a man’s butt. We haven’t had cable for 16-17 years, we only have DVDs and Netflix, and my husband’s playlist is mostly nature shows and we are working through Parks and Rec together. What I do recall is that I appreciate my husband’s effort to look away. I think I would be more bothered if he didn’t feel any kind of conviction about it.
I don’t like nudity in entertainment; I find it insulting to my intellect (it feels as if they’re saying that my mind is too simple to be entertained by compelling dialogue or an interesting story, so they just throw in nudity to try to appeal to more basic human processes and responses).
My wife is very understanding and always chooses movies she knows I can watch without discomfort. As someone whom God delivered from pornography use (a bad habit I had when I was single), I can testify that those things are very destructive and I would even say, demonic. I try to avoid not only the real thing, but also the softer forms that hint at it. It’s just not worth it, no matter how famous the show or movie. That’s why I’ve never watched an episode of GOT and many other popular programs.
I’ve never watched Game of Thrones either, and I’m sure I never will. TV is horrible these days, that show being one of many that shows not just nudity, but from what I hear, almost soft porn. Most of these series these days have some form of nudity, and ruin it for those of us that choose to abstain from gawking at all that. Then there’s the language, and cramming all the “tolerance” movements down our throats. EyeAboveTheStorm…you said that they throw the nudity in “to try to appeal to more basic human processes and responses“. I think it’s more deliberate than that. They know that the average person wants to see nudity, to think about sex, and not only that, fantasize that the naked characters they are watching are them and that they are having sex with whoever looking that hot. They know sex and nudity will keep them coming back for more sex and nudity…Yes it’s insulting when Hollywood thinks a show HAS to have all that in it to be interesting. We just watch X-files re-runs…
We haven’t watched movies in decades. I’m more disturbed by the violence in most, rather than the nudity. In my mind, sexuality is normal (and good, if it involves married couples). Violence is never normal behavior that should be glorified in any context.
Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I’ve never compared myself to actresses. They are just regular people who happen to have stylists, makeup artists, trainers, Botox, plastic surgery, filters and good lighting. I’m real and available to my husband and they are not.
I don’t like it, it makes me overly self conscious of the parts of me that do not look like a Holywood actress and (probably irrationally) worried that my husband will find them more attractive than he does me. We try not to watch anything with nudity, we actually have polar opposite taste in movies/shows so many times we end up with documentaries, cooking competitions, car shows, or HGTV type shows. Unfortunately it still shows up sometimes and I don’t like it.
I appreciate the stance that John Piper takes. His point is that there is little difference between being flashed on screen and a sicko at the top of an escalator flashing a bunch of people. He also distinguishes between violence and nudity noting that violence is acted/pretend while nudity is not.
We look at the IMDB Parents Guide for almost every movie and will avoid those with nudity. Some such as Schindler:s List seem to us to be valuable enough to turn away/fast-forward, but those are rare. There is enough entertainment out there without nudity, so we choose to avoid it as much as possible.