Nugget of wisdom stumbled upon

    Listening to a fiction book today (mystery/thriller with a dash of romance makes housework less of a drudgery 😉 ) a character said something extremely wise that I thought I would share.

    The speaking character’s brother, the hero, was in love with a girl and had just returned from a dangerous rescue mission with her wherein someone had died to save her life, but it could just as easily have been the hero who died and he readily admitted that he would have done so without hesitation had the situation worked out that way. He is also, however, angry with her for having done something that he feels makes their relationship almost untenable. He is torn and unhappy.

    The hero’s brother asks him, “If you love her and are willing to die for her, why is it so hard to forgive her?” (Emphasis mine.)

    Isn’t that what so many marriage problems come down to? We love our spouse so much we would step in front of a bullet to protect them…but find forgiveness hard. It really is rather silly when  you think of it that way.

    The next time I feel like holding a grudge against my DH (or DD!) I will (ATTEMPT TO!!) remember that if his or her life were threatened, I would gladly give my own, so I will not waste a moment of either of them on unforgiveness.

    Add Comment
    8 Answer(s)

      “If you love her and are willing to die for her, why is it so hard to forgive her?”

      Such a nice find Duchess. I absolutely suffer from this with both DW and our kids. It usually takes me some time (always more than it should for sure) to come around to forgiveness.

      Sure paints Christ’s sacrifice in a different light too. Not only did He die for us, but He did to forgive our sins. I wonder which was harder for Him, dying or forgiving?

      -Scott

      Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 3, 2020.
      Add Comment

        I have heard bloggers say something similar, and it’s something about, how many husbands find it easy to die for their wife, but harder to live for them.

        Under the stars Answered on February 3, 2020.
        Add Comment

          Well said, Duchess. I think Jesus wants all of His people to live like that. So unlike what we find so readily around us.

          Under the stars Answered on February 3, 2020.
          Add Comment

            Jesus died to forgive us, so we ought to be dying to forgive others.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 3, 2020.
            Add Comment

              When I as a Christian hold a grudge this can morph into a root of bitterness.  In the long run, this is just not worth it.  God has forgiven me and I need to quickly forgive her.

              Matthew 6:15

              “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

              Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 3, 2020.
              Add Comment

                Forgiveness is an absolute must, i think working around the feelings/emotions that come with conflict are much harder, but knowing that we as Christ followers are commanded to forgive, it should expedite the process!

                On the floor Answered on February 3, 2020.
                Add Comment

                  There was a series of books written by LM Montgomery wherein a young woman is secretly in love with an old friend. The guy is socially inept due to his background, and the girl absolutely rails against him for 3 books for his mistakes. By the end, she is able to admit that her lack of patience with him is because he makes her feel foolish for loving someone who could make mistakes. It’s a completely selfish attitude that she takes, and it is only when she realizes the fault is hers that she can “forgive” him. It is her growth that brings them together, not his.

                  It’s an interesting thought, the idea that we might not be extending grace to others because we might be ashamed of our association with them. I think it’s the vulnerability that we have when we love someone. We don’t want their decisions to make us feel that our love is misplaced.

                  Not that this is the case for all of us, but the story made me think of this other concept.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 3, 2020.

                  Anne of Green Gables? One of my favorites! I never thought of it as her feeling foolish for loving someone who could make mistakes. I always just saw it as her having too much pride to back down and being too wrapped up in fantasy to see real love when it was right in front of her.

                  Your point is very interesting though. I wonder if I am slower to extend grace to my DH when the thing he does makes me feel like something he does is embarrassing? It’s been an awfully long time since I have been embarrassed by my DH and I chalk the times I was up to immaturity, so that may well be the truth.

                  on February 3, 2020.
                  Add Comment

                    I find it hard to fathom how someone would die for me while treating me like trash.  That was my home growing up.  If we are to die for someone we ought to love them as the Lord commands without regard to our own feelings.

                    Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 3, 2020.

                    I agree.  This is why I struggled with believing my husband would protect me, even if it meant to die.

                    on February 3, 2020.
                    Add Comment

                    Your Answer

                    By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.