Nugget of wisdom stumbled upon
Listening to a fiction book today (mystery/thriller with a dash of romance makes housework less of a drudgery 😉 ) a character said something extremely wise that I thought I would share.
The speaking character’s brother, the hero, was in love with a girl and had just returned from a dangerous rescue mission with her wherein someone had died to save her life, but it could just as easily have been the hero who died and he readily admitted that he would have done so without hesitation had the situation worked out that way. He is also, however, angry with her for having done something that he feels makes their relationship almost untenable. He is torn and unhappy.
The hero’s brother asks him, “If you love her and are willing to die for her, why is it so hard to forgive her?” (Emphasis mine.)
Isn’t that what so many marriage problems come down to? We love our spouse so much we would step in front of a bullet to protect them…but find forgiveness hard. It really is rather silly when you think of it that way.
The next time I feel like holding a grudge against my DH (or DD!) I will (ATTEMPT TO!!) remember that if his or her life were threatened, I would gladly give my own, so I will not waste a moment of either of them on unforgiveness.
“If you love her and are willing to die for her, why is it so hard to forgive her?”
Such a nice find Duchess. I absolutely suffer from this with both DW and our kids. It usually takes me some time (always more than it should for sure) to come around to forgiveness.
Sure paints Christ’s sacrifice in a different light too. Not only did He die for us, but He did to forgive our sins. I wonder which was harder for Him, dying or forgiving?
When I as a Christian hold a grudge this can morph into a root of bitterness. In the long run, this is just not worth it. God has forgiven me and I need to quickly forgive her.
“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
There was a series of books written by LM Montgomery wherein a young woman is secretly in love with an old friend. The guy is socially inept due to his background, and the girl absolutely rails against him for 3 books for his mistakes. By the end, she is able to admit that her lack of patience with him is because he makes her feel foolish for loving someone who could make mistakes. It’s a completely selfish attitude that she takes, and it is only when she realizes the fault is hers that she can “forgive” him. It is her growth that brings them together, not his.
It’s an interesting thought, the idea that we might not be extending grace to others because we might be ashamed of our association with them. I think it’s the vulnerability that we have when we love someone. We don’t want their decisions to make us feel that our love is misplaced.
Not that this is the case for all of us, but the story made me think of this other concept.