Opinions on going silver/gray…

    This is truly a “chit chat” subject, but I would like some opinions….

    What are your thoughts, opinions &/or feelings, on letting your (or your wife’s) hair go gray?

    Does looking older or more aged bother you?  Is there a certain age span it’s appropriate or not appropriate?

    When you see a youngish (40s) woman with gray hair, what is your first thoughts?

    If you have experience from dyeing, to going to your natural gray, what are some benefits &/or downfalls you faced?

     

    If you share your experiences, can you include the age on which you are speaking of.  There’s a difference between someone nearing 70 deciding to be gray versus 40, IMO.

    Under the stars Asked on February 1, 2020 in Chit Chat, Jokes, and More .
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    23 Answer(s)

      I personally think that grey hair is never unattractive, but many attempts I have seen to color it fail miserably. At 57, mine is well on it’s way towards being fully grey, while my wife has beautiful salt and pepper hair. In natural sunlight, hers is stunning. I can’t say if mine is attractive or not, but a couple of ladies commented on it jist last night, so I if I take them at their word, it looks pretty good

      On the floor Answered on February 1, 2020.
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        I think it can depend upon your original hair color. I have dark hair with about 30% gray (I’m mid-50’s) and it looks like witches hair to me (like the Halloween wigs). I use a root touch up product in a shade lighter than my hair and it looks very natural. Most people are surprised when I tell them it’s not. When people do the full dye hair color, it doesn’t look natural because our natural hair is not just one color.

        On the floor Answered on February 1, 2020.

        Excuse me of my ignorance, but how does that work? Are you just covering the random grays? Is it permanent or temporary? Do people see gray when they look at you? I don’t think this is an option in my case, but if it’s a temporary thing, it might help with the growing out process

        on February 1, 2020.

        It’s permanent in that it doesn’t wash out. I use the brush that comes with the product to ‘paint’ the areas that need it (most people get gray first above ears and temples). I also do my side part, which is how I style my hair, which is shoulder length. I suppose someone might see grays if they pulled a section of my hair and lifted it up, but I’m not too worried about that. I’m happy with the way I look and so is DH, so that’s what’s important to me. I will mention that there’s a woman at my church, maybe 40 YO at most, that has all gray hair and it is gorgeous. It’s very thick and and falls to about her shoulder blades. It’s stunning. I have no idea what her hair color was before. Doesn’t seem to age her at all.

        on February 1, 2020.
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          I see people where the silver seems to make their face glow. If I could be guaranteed that, I would be more tempted. I am afraid it would just age me a good 10-20 years.

          Under the stars Answered on February 1, 2020.
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            I’m on the back side of becoming fully grey, age 61.  My wife is older by a few years and is just beyond starting to go grey. I will accept her in which ever choice she makes, to color or not to color.  She has not colored to this point and I don’t think that she will at this point.  I don’t see the need to personally color but I will continue to keep it cut and clean.  My mother keep her hair a natural black until she was 70 and then stopped coloring.  That was her choice and this one is ours.

            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 1, 2020.
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              I’m in the early 40s and just started getting about 5 grey hairs. Actually, I started a year or 2 ago, but they don’t really seems to be increasing. I asked DH to pull them out, but he gracefully declined. Its neither here nor there, to him, whether my hair is dark or grey!

              When I see a much younger person with grey or white hair, the first thought is that they must have had a lot of stress in life. I know thats not always true, and that it can be genetics.

              One lady my age, told me years ago, that her grey hair came and went, according to her stresses. Once I knew that, it was fairly obvious!

              Under the stars Answered on February 1, 2020.

              I have got the genetics 🙂 Although I always dealt with fear and anxiety, so maybe stress had a role too 😀

              on February 1, 2020.
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                At 54, I’ve been already greying for probably close to 10 years (omggoodness!).  My husband calls it “natural highlights” 🙂   I don’t mind the grey — which I sometimes put purple touches in — what I dislike is the changed texture of my hair.  It has become rather coarse and “raggy looking”.  If I pull it back, my husband doesn’t care for that look.  Currently, I trying to find products to use to tame it a bit  🙂

                ~time~

                 

                Twin bed Answered on February 1, 2020.

                What do you mean by “purple touches”? I have been graying for 20 years and I am 44 🙂

                on February 1, 2020.

                I play with semi-permanent hair dye.  The fun stuff that the teenagers use — I have an 18 year old daughter who does it for me.  The best thing?  My grey just sucks it right up, and it stays and stays 🙂  Typically, we do the ends, and around the frame of my face.

                The products we love most are Splat (it’s called that for a reason – it tends to get everywhere); and there’s one called Fox something or other, sorry I can’t remember the exact name.  I want to try another product, which acts as a conditioner as well, it’s called Overtone.

                on February 2, 2020.
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                  Well… really doesn’t matter what WE think about it. What do YOU think about it? Does it make you feel  old? If so, does that negatively impact your attitude?

                  Does your DH have an opinion either way? Would it matter to you if he did? (I ask that because some women could care less what their spouse thinks on such matters. That’s some serious selfishness IMO, but some wives are that way.)

                  Now if you want experiences with hair dyes, then that could be helpful. My DW dyes hers and I’m fine with it. I would not have a problem with some gray, or a lot of gray for that matter. But it is her choice so she doesn’t feel old. I’ve had a grey beard now for a few years. I kinda like it that way myself. Gives me an air of wisdom. 🙂   Not much grey on my head yet, but I won’t fight it when it comes. But we men think differently about such things.

                  About the only thing I have an opinion (strong) about my DW looks is her hair length. I do NOT like her with short hair. She doesn’t pay me much attention and it has been getting shorter and shorter over the years. It’s not as short now as it was at one time, but it’s going back that direction. There is a little incongruency about the whole thing. She absolutely hates it when I shave my beard and has only seen me without a mustache twice in 28 years. Both times she hounded me to grow it back. It is interesting how she can’t see the irony. Somehow her hair style and my facial hair are both her priority.

                  Fell out of ... Answered on February 1, 2020.

                  If I wasn’t wrestling with my thoughts, I wouldn’t be asking about it, now would I. 🙂

                  on February 1, 2020.
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                    My Grandma used to color and set her hair every other Thursday, religiously. She looked pretty much the same my whole life (although as a kid, we don’t notice these things as much). When she went into the nursing home after a major medical event, they no longer colored her hair and the first time I went in to see her after the rinse (that frequent, it couldn’t have been permanent hair color??) and style had been washed out, she had aged 50 years at once. She looked like a stranger.

                    I decided then that I would prefer to age gradually.

                    Also, I am simply not of a personality to be diligent enough to keep it up. I have seen ladies with 2″ roots showing and find that to be just calling attention to not only the gray, but the fact that she feels bad about it. I would struggle with keeping it well-kept and just don’t want the hassle.

                    Also, having lost much of the volume of my hair to PCOS, I can say that at this point I am happy for whatever hair I have, and who cares what color it is!

                    I admit, however, I am blessed to be of that shade of blonde that the greys blend in and make my hair just look more “ashy” than golden, so it’s not the huge contrast that some people have and dislike. (It also means the hair on my legs is super pale and fine and scant (and soft!), so I only shave my legs about once a year! Silver lining!!)

                    ETA:  Age = closer to 50 than 40, but mentally about 33.

                    Under the stars Answered on February 1, 2020.

                    You sound more like my sisters.

                    on February 1, 2020.

                    You made me laugh with your comment on not being diligent enough to keep it up 🙂  That is definitely me, and part of the reason why I never went down the road of coloring.

                    on February 2, 2020.
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                      Grow old gracefully.

                      Point 1: A close friend of ours, sent us some pics on her 90th birthday a while back. With the note, she said, ‘ignore the old wrinkly beat up hands, they are kind of ugly.’

                      I told her, nope, no need.  No shame. No worries. Those are the hands of a working woman. A woman who welded parts for airplanes and helped us win WWII. Those are the hands of a woman, who raised three children. Well. Real well.

                      Point 2:  We have a close friend, who started getting grey when we all went to high school. Started at his sideburns, and worked up. Lots of us gave him a bad time back then. Guess what….we caught up. And, we passed him.

                      Point 3: We have some friends, that have had bad reactions, to hair dyes. A couple, real bad. Why would anyone do that? Foolish in my opinion. The grey….just battle scars no?

                      Ya’ll are gonna get old. We all are. Do it gracefully.

                      And, FYI, my hair is not grey. It’s light blond.  Deal with it.

                      🙂

                      Hammock Answered on February 1, 2020.
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                        Men with gray is something different than women with gray, don’t you all think?  Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a double standard in our society.

                        I always find it a little humorous how those who are barely getting any gray in their 40’s and 50’s are very bold, in their almost pious way, stating how, “They will age gracefully!”  (I am not aiming this at anyone in particular, I just have several people, family and friends, who have stated this to me.)   How much “grace” does it take to live when life is easy? 😉

                        Under the stars Answered on February 1, 2020.

                        There is a double standard, but most often with the younger men making the standard. As I age, it matters less and less.

                        I think the aging gracefully thing is about whether or not one fights it with all the anti-aging efforts one can make these days, up to and including surgeries. I’m not really sure what grace has to do with it, buts that’s the word used. Maybe it is graceful as in a swan on a lake or a smooth dancer. But if that was the case, it would be out of one’s hand really. You either age naturally with slow unperceivable changes, or you don’t. Maybe gracefully would be accepting it as it is.

                        I guess once you have a dance with death, your perception changes about a lot of things….

                        on February 1, 2020.

                        Not just younger men, there is probably a much stronger expectation and judgement among and from women.

                        on February 1, 2020.
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