Parental Lessons, sometimes kids have to learn the hard way
Some know that our married son lives in our basement, and he’s a handsy sort… much like his father. Over the past few years, I have really tried to help him see when it’s the time and place for certain types of touch…. basically breast groping/handling, but other PDA as well. And though what he is doing is a good thing in marriage, it’s not something others always want to be a witness to.
A few weeks ago, he was sitting in our communal living room, and he was grabbing his wife breasts, with me and his younger sister in the room. I laugh and tell him that this is not the time and place to do that. He says, “This is my home too. You told me that I shouldn’t do it in public.” There was further discussion (and laughter) around it, but it ended with me saying, “Would you want your dad to do that with me in front of you?” His reply, “I wouldn’t care.” …. okay, we’ll see 😉
A week or so later, he and his wife had just finished their dinner and were sitting at the table. I can’t remember what we all were talking about or doing, but my husband came up behind me to hug me and I think I was kind of wriggling to get out of his arms…. but whatever we were doing it brought that conversation to mind for my lovely dil, she laughed and reminded me of our previous conversation, so I was fully able to enact my threat in front of them…. I grabbed my husband’s hands and told him to grab my boobs, and even helped him fully rub them in enjoyment, and then turned around and told him to grab my butt. Of course my husband had no clue what was going on, but he had no problem jumping in and playing his part! 😀
My son was hiding his face behind his drink, the red was creeping up, and my dil, I and his father got a good laugh. He had to share “how gross” the incident was with his brothers.
A few days later, he was caught groping in the kitchen. I hollered his dad’s name…. he let go, and son #3 said to his brother, “Don’t do that, you are punishing us all!” 😀
PDA etiquette is elusive and subjective. I remember when it was frowned upon for a husband to put his arm behind his wife, resting it on the pew back, in church. Before COVID I draped my arm around Mrs. Oldbear and gave her a shoulder hug before church started and our worship leader (a close friend of Mrs. Oldbear) jokingly let us know that she saw my move – said in a warm, positive manner.
Isn’t it interesting how a PDA between our parents elicits an . . .Oi! Yet, we secretly enjoy a seeing our daughter get a pat on her tush by our son-in-law. However, a brother groping his wife in front of his sister (younger and at home) is awkward. @SC, you handled the situation with grace (a bit of laughter) and appropriate response (think, son, about it!). Hopefully, he’ll consider others when he wants to put the moves on his wife.
My step daughters never saw their dad be affectionate with their mom. We’ve made the choice to make sure they see that loving, God-honoring marriages will include public displays of affection. We’re not going to fondle each other BUT kissing, hugging, and a butt slap or grab? YEP! Do they know I’m sexually attracted to their mom and that we regularly engage in coitus? YEP! They’ve seen the disappointed look on my face and looked a me in disgust at the dinner table when DW removed multiple layers of clothing due to a hot flash but stopping at her last tank shirt. And they’ve seen us go to bed EARLY and heard the box fans turn on high upon entry.
And after the oldest walked out of a bedroom and heard her mom offer up a blowjob for a bet, she knows her mom can put out just as easily as her school friends. 😀 (That’s actually happened twice!)
I say kept it up SC. You taught them well about affection AND about discretion! Way to go!
Our DD gets mad if we do ANYthing–even so much as kiss in her presence! She acts like we are totally inappropriate if we even look at each other and enjoy a joke telepathically. It’s getting really old, too! lol!
But I will totally copy your move if she starts behaving inappropriately, married or not!
To what extreme would they take it? If some heavy petting is okay today in front of you or siblings, would they go further the next day or week by going all the way? For me and my wife, we want our son to see that we are affectionate with each, but there are limits or certain “etiquette when it comes to other special activities. Once when he was much younger he noticed that for several days we didn’t kiss and he asked his mother why and she responded appropriately that she had a bad sore throat and didn’t want to give it to daddy. With discussions he knows we do things, but has never witnessed anything firsthand. I know there are differences of opinions, but for us in view of our son we don’t knowing go beyond first base in his presence and can assuredly say we won’t even after he’s married. Keep teaching your son SC.