“Perfect” intimacy? A question for husbands.
Husbands, I’m curious as to how you would describe a perfect or near perfect intimate encounter with your wife. What are the circumstances, the surroundings, the place, the time? How do the two of you connect? What does she do to you and for you that makes this encounter so special? What do you do to her and for her? Are there special items – clothes, jewelry, furniture, candles, flowers, oils, etc. that increase the intimacy for each of you? Anything else that makes this encounter so special? Maybe this is something you’ve already experienced or maybe it’s still an aspiration.
Thanks for sharing.
hmm. great question! I’d say one in which we had uninterrupted privacy and as much time as we wanted to be naked around each other. An atmosphere in which she felt fully free to relax and to be herself. One in which we could take the time to pleasure each other as much and for as long as we wanted to. So, no specific acts (we would just do whatever we wanted, when we wanted) or clothing, etc. Just the freedom and time to do whatever occurred to our desire and imaginations to do with and to one another.
I speak mostly here out of the place being a parent and both time and privacy being precious things. And I would add–we’ve done this many times before.
What are the circumstances, the surroundings, the place, the time?
Anywhere with complete privacy and the time to do whatever we desired. Could be bedroom at home, on vacation, or even a location deep in the woods with nobody around. lol The best time for sex for us is mid-afternoon.
How do the two of you connect?
An encounter is made much better if we have done something fun beforehand that grows our emotional intimacy. Hanging out at the beach, playing mini-golf, deep conversations, etc. can get the motors primed.
What does she do to you and for you that makes this encounter so special?
She’s involved. She wants to be with me and wants to enjoy intimacy to the fullest. One of ways she shows involvement and interest is by wearing certain lingerie (chemise with short skirt and no panties). She knows it turns me on and she just loves to dress up. Lots of passionate kissing is also major turn on . Another way is for her to climb on top and initiate intercourse. Unfortunately, it excites me so much when she does this that I O too quickly.
What do you do to her and for her?
To her: If she doesn’t initiate WOT I bend her over, hike the chemise, and take her from behind. The act of hiking the skirt just feels so “manly”. Ideally intercourse lasts around 15 mins with a grand finale of passionate thrusting.
For her: My wife doesn’t O during intercourse. She mostly focuses on me but she does really enjoy hard and fast thrusting. After intercourse its her turn. I manually stimulate her clitoris and orally stimulate her breasts till she O’s. I also talk about her body and how she makes me feel. She is absolutely beautiful when she O’s and if she wants more than one I am happy to oblige (although generally we are both quite tired and content after one each).
Are there special items – clothes, jewelry, furniture, candles, flowers, oils, etc. that increase the intimacy for each of you?
Your second question of “how do you connect” is more important to me than the actual encounter. Sure, she could walk up to me at any time and say, “let’s have sex” and we would (not that she’s ever done that)…but you said near perfect; So it would start the instant she wakes up. I leave for work long before she gets up. her first text would be something like “I wish you were still in bed with me…we could start the day off right…maybe later then”
That type of attitude and flirting would continue all day until I got home, then even through dinner until bedtime. The positions, the clothing, atmosphere aren’t really important to me…I just want her to be present…in the now, with me. Not worrying about something that’s happening tomorrow or whether I’m really enjoying myself or whether I’m thinking about her. Just be present in the moment of sex with me…that would be near prefect enough.
May I focus primarily on what she does? The circumstances and situation are at best secondary to me.
Perfection in intimacy comes in how she looks at me, what she whispers in my ears, the way she embraces me, caresses my muscles, grab my package, thrusts her body against mine, presents her breasts to me, splays her legs, moans and groans for more, explodes with orgasms, embraces me, envelopes and absorbs me, etc.
So I (Scott, the DH) had hoped to have Zelda (the DW) and I type these up and post as answers on our respective questions, then read them to each other as part of “warmup” before our next sexual encounter. But instead, we’re just going to come up with them in our heads, keep them to ourselves, and then tell them to each other without the typed script when the “warmup” time comes. That way, no censoring or redaction is required, as we can use exact location names and detailed descriptions of certain things. Hoping it will be a great turn on and learning experience.
So thanks for the inspiration to do this, but sorry, no one gets to hear about our plans! 😈
Wow, this one is a tough one.
Perfect to me would be:
- She initiates. She starts by building the excitement throughout the day.
- She teases and flirts. Until we’re alone, she’s very touchy/feely and a bit handsy.
- She takes all of the knowledge about my likes and dislikes and puts some, more, or all into action.
- She allows me full control over how much pleasure she receives/orgasms she has.
- She’s fully into it. There is passion in what we are doing.
- We do all of this, taking our time, enjoying the moment.
When I think about the sexual encounters we have had in our 18 years of marriage, the ones that stand out to me all fall into these buckets to some extent.