Does anyone have any good resources regarding perimenopause? I’m approaching that age and am wondering if I’m in the early stages.
It dawned on me this morning that in the year or so leading up to my first period, there were so many available resources. Some good, some bad. But all the girls were talking about it, so there was no aura of mystery or fear. I’m finding that menopause is the opposite. The older women in my life are reluctant to talk about it, like it’s a bad thing. To my way of thinking, this is how God designed my body. I’d rather embrace it than fear it. But there’s no one to talk with about it except my same-age co-worker, and she’s just as lost as I am.
So I’m hoping for some resource suggestions that are body-positive so I know what to expect. I’ll talk with my doctor about this, but I won’t see her until June.
The absolute BEST resource i’ve come across is Menopause Barbie on YT. She has over 100 videos carefully explaining every single aspect of peri and menopause, she’s quite eccentric and it takes a while to wade through the videos but she’s a retired GYN and knows what she is talking about.
Thank you for your perspective, NWNL. I was talking with my husband about this yesterday. I think it’s worthwhile to point out that while our closest “helpers” when we started the fertility process were our mothers, having an understanding husband there by our sides at the close of it is more comforting. My mom, who is otherwise amazing, was too fixated on the strangeness that I could now conceive a child. It was awkward, especially when I still saw boys as mysteries and slightly gross.
This time around, it’s much nicer to have someone whom I feel more at ease speaking with about it all. There an attitude from him that we’ll do this as a team, like we tackle everything else. You husbands are so valued.
DW describes it as an out-of-body experience. Nothing is the same and everything that irritates her is amplified.
I prayed for someone post-menopausal or pre- by at least 5 yrs, and God in His infinite wisdom….or sick sense of humor, gave me an AWESOME wife smack dab in the middle of it. I love her…but it gets a little crazy with the hormones and blending a family with her teen girls (I had 3 boys now out). She is kind and gentle so when the switch flips, I usually just go along for the ride…and if I’m smart I’ll say, “How can I help or serve you?” But if I’m being a smartass, I might ask her if she took her bitchy pills? It usually gets laughter and lightens the mood a little….USUALLY. (LOL) Like I said, I can be insensitive and lack a filter.
The last period I remember was 8 months ago, she was clearly upset over something I did, but it seemed out of balance, and I said, “God forbid if I’m wrong but I’m too stupid to keep my mouth shut right now. Could this be hormones and even maybe you’re gonna start a period?” I left for work shortly after and 5 minutes later I get a txt saying, “ I hate you when you’re right.” She literally started her period after I left. I cried and laughed so hard till my stomach hurt, like I’d done 1000 crunches.
I believe I am in the same boat. I told my sister who is 3.5 years older than me, to take good notes so when I go through it, she can be a help to me. Because like you have noticed, our mother won’t talk about it at all. My sister’s first signs started when she was 40 and she is 48 and very close to being full menopausal. (She was 1-2 weeks of hitting the official no-period year mark, and then she had a period and had to start the countdown again.)
I have always found WebMD to be a reliable source for medical issues. They are not trying to sell anything (like supplements) so I trust the site.
I’m two years out now and I’m not afraid to talk about it. Most of my friends were like me, with relatively few symptoms compared to the horror stories we’ve heard. I have always been in excellent health and weight, so I believe that helped tremendously. However, hormone changes are unavoidable, so don’t be surprised by a lower sex drive.
My DW has been peri- since she was 36. We married at 39. Her doctor tested her and told her, if I didn’t know you and looked at your chart & tests, I’d say you were 55 yrs old. She’s taken herbal supplements to help with the hot flashes, her periods are sporadic, sometimes 5 months or only two weeks in between. (In 32 months of marriage, she’s had less than 10 periods.
She hasn’t had lubrication or low desire issues but as newlyweds her mood swings have been crazy to navigate sometimes. Thankfully, she can laugh LATER at my insensitivity and lack of filter sometimes and I’m learning to take the emotional swings better now.
I did read somewhere that regular sex can help with a woman’s desire, lubrication, and elasticity of tissue during the changes. I hope it’s true!!!
I was working on it when I got dumped into surgical menopause. Still trying to figure out what’s what, but a resource I found for the surgery is hystersisters.com. They have so much information and lots of links (as I recall–I haven’t looked there in a while) that you may find a trail to something very helpful. I think there might even be threads just for peri, but don’t quote me on that.
Adding these links I found through an NPR article:
Curated list of books by Mass. General Hospital: https://www.massgeneral.org/blum-center/health-and-illness-resources/womens-health-pathfinder
US Government Office of Women’s Health: https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause
American College of OB/GYN: https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Perimenopausal-Bleeding-and-Bleeding-After-Menopause?IsMobileSet=false