Pleasure with pain, or pain free and no pleasure, what would you do?
Here’s the situation, there are certain positions that just do it for us. Things feel good for him and I get stimulated in a way we have not found in any other position. These posititon, one more than the other, end up being our “go to” finishing position, because it has such a high success rate of me climaxing with it.
The problem… I have dealt with lower back pain since jr. high. These positions cock my hips at a funny angle, which ends up irritating my back and causing pain. The pain isn’t typically during the act, it’s the aftermath. It disrupts my sleep. I tend to have to take tylenol or ibuprofen, or both, at nights just to have a chance of sleep. In the past I have chosen pleasure with the pain, but after a few weeks of extreme tension in my back and shoulders, and having to make special trips to a chiropractor (while traveling), I now have a little trepidation of reversing the good the visits have made.
What would you do? How would you work with this?
Thanks for sharing, Sis…
If this was me, I would look at the long term effects. Yes, this position can help in climaxing yet what sort of damage will this do further down the road?
If this were me, I would shelf this position and look at this challenge as an adventure to explore other positions. In all of the positions on CFSP, you and your hubby have a smorgasbord of positions to try…let alone toys to use too. 🙂
Like you stated, ” I now have a little trepidation of reversing the good the visits have made.” I would desire for you to continue to make strides in improvement than going back or damaging yourself more. Besides, you want to be mobile for your grandchildren too. 🙂
It would partly depend on the nature of the pain. Is it muscular or structural (joints, etc.)? Often (and I have experienced this after being told by my doctor to try it) muscles surrounding painful joints can be strengthened to ease pressure, and therefore pain, in joints. You want someone who is knowledgeable about the muscular-skeletal system (like your doctor or a PT) to design exercises specifically for this purpose because they don’t always appear logical to the untrained eye, but once learned, they can be done at home indefinitely. I would give the pain-causing positions a break for a while, explore new positions and see it as an adventure, and look into rehabilitating the parts that hurt. If exercises won’t do it, maybe some sort of brace–some types of corsets function as back support and might help, depending on where exactly you need to bend. 😉 Or use a regular back brace and decorate it to look like one of those westkits that is always buttoned or laced below the boobs over a flowing white blouse or gown. Functional fashion!
Pain is no fun, though–prayers for a good solution to present itself soon!
We (Zelda and I) discussed this some last night. Like most of the other commenters, we both think it best that you at least reduce the use of these positions or eliminate them entirely. Naturally, you’ll want to try various PT or other forms of strengthening to try to remedy the issue, as Duchess said. Taking some significant time off to see if things mend up is also worthwhile…that worked for my achilles tendinitis over the course of several years, but it also included intentional exercise with much care to avoid overuse after the initial few months off. Honestly, seeing a qualified doctor or PT about this is probably the best bet.
But if none of that works, just remember that you may well be married for another 40+ yr and could likely maintain an active sexual lifestyle for 20+ yr. Do you really want to (potentially) permanently damage yourself so that you and DH can currently have a pleasurable position that you both O in easily? I say this coming from a married couple that didn’t have the DW O for >12 yr (but desperately wanted to, so we know what missing out is like)…it’s just not worth the damage to your body if what’s happening could actually lead to irreparable damage. I’m guessing there are plenty of other ways for you both to receive pleasure and O, and those should still be great fun even if they remove the possibility of the much-coveted simultaneous PIV O.
I have a trick hip that likes to hurt me, and muck up my back. Because my hip dislocates so easily, sex is always a concern. Still, I choose the pain. I schedule chiropractic care 3x a week, and massage therapy whenever I can, to mitigate the effects as much as possible. That connection with my husband means a lot to me, and I am willing to pay the price for it. Frankly, my hip and back pain aren’t going away, and I refuse to let it steal my pleasure, along with my mobility. I just jokingly think of it as another aspect of bdsm. Lol Floggers, rope, and…. chiropractic adjustments. 😂
I think I’d fall in the middle too. It would probably depend on how long the pain lasts and what it might potentially interfere with (if it was short lived, a day or less) I’d probably go for it pretty often only refraining when I had something important upcoming that the pain would impede. If it was long lasting and interfering with daily life on a regular basis, it would probably be something saved for more rare special occasions.
i just wouldn’t do it. I may have to have hip surgery and most positions really hurt me although i try to get in the position that hurts the least because i really pay for it down the road and it isn’t worth it in the end, my husband absolutely agrees, he’s not into me feeling that much pain even if an orgasm is guaranteed. You do not know what kind of damage you are doing down the road long term.