Prolactin after orgasm in women?
I saw this comment from @Ron in the answers of this question on the number of orgasms a wife has …
“That’s interesting about your wife’s refractory time.
Men after orgasm have a high amount of prolactin, that is what prevents or slows down a male’s ability to orgasm again soon after sex. If you do manage to orgasm a second time, a third one is really difficult because the amount of prolactin goes up more.
In most women, they don’t get near as high prolactin after an orgasm and that is why most can have multiples. Not all women are like that though.”
This is new to me, and I have never really looked much into this or heard much about it, but it got me thinking…… In my experience, I have shared that I seem to be similar to a man with how my body responds after I orgasm. Once I orgasm, I am done…not just mentally, but physically. It’s like all pleasurable sensations leave my body. The same sensations that were pleasurable before, become somewhat neutral (almost numb like) or can even become uncomfortable. It’s like I am on a mountain high, and I immediately plummet to not just the foot of the mountain, but even into a valley….because I am starting further back then I was at before anything started, so I have some “negative” to overcome. I believe this would be considered a “refractory time”?
I did a very small amount of googling after reading that comment, and it appears that men typically produce more prolactin after an orgasm, especially an orgasm during intercourse vs. masturbation (which is one reason why IC is more satisfying than masturbating), than women do (which is one reason they are more capable of multiples.) But I am wondering if there are some of us women, who have a similar effect, by producing more prolactin during an orgasm, and if that could be an answer, or at least in part, why my (and others, because I know I am not the only one) who experience what we do post-orgasm?
Anyone know any more about this? Anyone have more information that my support or refute my thoughts? Any thoughts in general around this idea/topic?
SeekingChange, I am sure there are women that are “one and done”, it is just not as common as it is men. From what I have read, some articles that say only about 15% of women have multiple orgasms, but others say it is more around 50% of women can. There are men that can have multiple orgasms, but it is rare. I saw a study where they tested prolactin levels in a multi-orgasmic male and after each orgasm, his prolactin stayed about the same.
I haven’t read a lot about women and prolactin, but i have read some about men. Avoiding orgasm in males is the idea behind Tantric sex, semen retention etc. For males, after they orgasm, they fall of the cliff so to speak and not desire sex for a while. I think it is the reason men should avoid masturbation as much as possible in their relationship. If they masturbate and orgasm, they will not feel the same about their spouse, pursue her and do things for her as much, their mind will be on doing something else.
I haven’t done the research on post-orgasmic prolactin, but I’m sure there are hormonal differences in individuals that contribute to this variance. And I’m, sure for women, that changes with menopause, like everything else. My DW has always been a one-and-done’er. There was only one time in memory she got a twofer many, many years ago, pre-nuptial. I tried to chase that unicorn for years.
Now, after she comes first, and has a minute to “come down”, she’ll engage in PIV or whatever, and doesn’t NOT enjoy it, but there’s no going for seconds. She just doesn’t want any more. She normally doesn’t seek the first one. Even in the rare occasion that she is really hot and horny, and orgasms rather quick and easily, one’s all for her. I honestly don’t remember the last time she had back to back days with an orgasm. It could be said her refractory period is days or weeks long. But I don’t believe that is a true physical refractory period. It’s mostly a mental one.
I haven’t researched this, SC, but I sure would believe you. I wonder if more women have multiple or single O’s. It was only a couple years ago that someone informed me that once she got into sex, she could O 8 or 10 or 12 times. I won’t say what almost slipped out of my mouth, but that was the first time, in real life, that I had actually heard of it. I was strictly a one and done person and I spent some time wondering how she accomplished it. I don’t even want more than one and it makes sense that it has to do with prolactin.
@Ron, “falling off a cliff” describes me. Because I am a woman, and can still “function” sexually after an orgasm, because a hole is a hole. But, with how it is actually sexually unresponsive, I believe, if I was a male, I would be physically unable to sexually function….it is equivalent to losing an erection.
I do think I have a shorter refractory time then many men would, and @LBD’s wife, because we can have sex later in the day, or even a few times in one day, and am able to orgasm each time.
Prior to this topic coming up, I hadn’t looked into female refractory period’s relationship to prolactin and only looked into it with males. It does appear that it plays a part in both sexes. As with many things, there are lots of biochemical factors (e.g. somatostatin) involved, so there is always at least some danger in trying to boil it down to one factor. Also, and again as with many other things, females generally show a wider distribution of responses than males.
Beyond that, the only thing I have to contribute on this thread is to point out that arousal loss and inability to get a second O are two separate things and should be treated as such. @SC’s physical response appears similar to mine and most men’s. Zelda similarly is limited to just one O many times (though not always). However, her response is different in that she only gets one O because of clitoral hypersensitivity or mental fatigue. Post-O, she is still very much aroused and often enjoys sex more than she did pre-O (she describes it as dropping back to a plateau of 70-90% of O-level arousal). That’s definitely different than what @SC is reporting, and I think I’ve seen both described by women here and elsewhere. Definitely worth the distinction, and I often call “one and done” and the other “one and completely done”.
One final note–I’ve seen on another site (which has way too much questionable content to link to here) that one way to potentially get around this (that works for some) is to make the woman’s O as least-clitoral as possible. This can include using other forms of stimulation as well as just simply stopping clitoral stimulation right before the O or as soon as it begins. I’m sure everyone is different, so of course YMMV.
@Scott, thanks for the distinction. That may be useful for me to clarify in the future.
With the “getting around”….I have been giving this some thought. Before introducing a bullet vibe, a good portion of my orgasms were not what I believe is classified as “clitoral orgasms” (direct clitoral stimulation), they were more vaginal/uterine orgasms with an indirect clitoral stimulation. And I had the same response.
Honestly, I don’t see this as something I need to “fix”, I just like to have a better understanding of myself and how I tick. We have learned what works for us, such as “she comes first” does NOT, and we do more edging or a little of orgasm denial until we are ready for the finale.
Thanks, @Scott, for your research again! I am finding this discussion interesting and I hope to hear more yet!
@SeekingChange, we learned years ago, on our own, that “she comes first”, doesn’t work well for us, either. We changed it to “we come together” and its much better for both!
@Ron and other commenters under his answer (I’m not leaving a comment because I realize it likely wouldn’t be seen.) … I agree that masturbation can keep a man from pursuing his wife and keep him from facing difficult sexual challenges in the marriage head-on. We experienced that first hand in our earlier years of marriage. It’s a regret of my husband’s. But, I also know that some of us wives need a little respite from sexual pursuit 🙂 and masturbation can be a win-win in that.
@SC said: “But, I also know that some of us wives need a little respite from sexual pursuit 😉 and masturbation can be a win-win in that.”
I think that works for many people. One caveat though–at least for me, I would want it to be in Zelda’s presence, even if she’s not directly involved. It’s just too easy for my mind to wander without that anchor. The flesh is weak.
Also, and maybe it’s silly, but something like that (a quick M in her presence) every once in a while is a good reminder just how much better the experience is when it’s a full foreplay/PIV/cuddling in the afterglow session. 🙂