QOTD-6/8/2020- What is the funniest method to avoid PE?
What is the funniest or quirkiest method you and your spouse have used to avoid premature ejaculation?
DW and I play the “animal game”. We start with A and then name an animal whose name starts with the letter A and so on down the alphabet. Let’s just say it takes considerable effort to even think of common animal names. Lol
I have nothing to add to this, all I know is my husband has had to say he has had to disconnect his mind and think about other things as well. And he is at that age and place where he now has to be intentional to think about sexual things to get the proper stimulation for arousal and completion.
Even though this is off-topic, I wanted to say that I really related to @Tim’s words about his wife. I have had those similar feelings and wishes. There’s a side of it that gives a woman a sense of empowerment (maybe a slight sex-goddess if you will) when a man can’t keep control with her. And too much control (long-lasting) can feed into feelings of inadequacy and failure.
Background: as part of working to rekindle our marriage and MB last year, I started working on lasting longer so that Zelda could get more enjoyment out of it. We enjoyed a lot of side-of-the-bed stuff at that time, and one part of that was because I tended to last longer while standing. I have long used mental distraction to try to last longer, and I found that looking left (in the standing position) into my walk-in closet while having sex gave me many distractions, objects to focus on, etc. Not only did it keep me from seeing my wife mating with me, but it far surpassed closing my eyes by providing something else to process.
Eventually, we moved onto our “go to” position for most sessions. There isn’t really anything to the left in that position for me to look at, but I’ve found that I’ve “classically trained” myself to last longer by looking left since I did it a lot there for a while. It now even works in the dark, with my eyes closed, and in most positions. Looking to the right has some benefit, but not nearly as much as looking left.
The things we do for love…
I don’t think it is a funny method, but in addition to what others mentioned about thinking about work or some other mundane thing, I have counted: 1 thousand, 2 thousand, 3 thousand…
Other times holding my breath and not moving has been effective.
Tim, I am the same way. When we first got married and for several years after, typically, I couldn’t last long at all. My wife would tease me about being a minute man and sometimes, she was generous saying that. sometimes, I could last 2 or 3 minutes. Around age 40, I could last a lot longer and could go a long time if I wanted to. My wife was not impressed. She is all for a lots of foreplay etc., but once the actual sex act is started, she will orgasm within 2 or 3 minutes and wants me to finish right after that.
Thanks for the question, SLS. I’m so glad you asked this.
I don’t have anything to add, but wanted to say thanks for the answers. DH hasn’t struggled with this for the most part. However, now that he’s older, its like some of you said. You can now last longer and almost too long. He thinks now that it sometimes takes too long, but I shared this with him, in the hopes that he will now realize (and believe me!!) that he is normal and average!!
Early on, before we learned a lot of the helpful things that have made our LM such a satisfying experience, I would try things like suddenly saying, “Electric bill!” or “Laundry!” and (whether I had said something or not) I could tell he was sitting there concentrating really hard on basically not feeling anything. That was disheartening to me because I wanted him to be engaged and interested. It never occurred to me to think of it as a compliment to my prowess! I did fear that he would worry about his own ability, so I have been very careful to never express any negativity about his longevity. We have worked together to try to help him last longer, but I have always assured him (truthfully!) that I was satisfied with our love life whether he ever lasted long enough for me to orgasm from PIV (which would be a really long time!) or not.
It’s really freeing to realize that a Hubby’s Helper is really the same as the master artist’s brush or the writer’s pen, or the violinist’s bow. It’s the artist wielding the tool that creates the WOW, not the tool itself. 😉
I tried quite a few things over the years that worked to varying degrees. The funniest thing to me is that now that I’ve reached my mid 40s all of a sudden I can pretty much go as long as I want and my wife doesn’t like it. 😕
She actually enjoyed knowing I couldn’t help myself. Now that I can last she often feels like it’s because I’m no longer as excited by her. I always wanted to be able to use multiple positions and be able to go for awhile and now that I can I’m finding it overated. I’m sure our feelings on it would be vastly different if my wife got more that just minimal pleasure from the actual PIV. I’ll just say it’s been terribly disappointing for us.