QOTD – 7-13-2020- Sleep-Sex?
Several times in our marriage I have tried to get frisky with DW while asleep. The farthest I have gotten is removing clothing but by that point DW is awake and gets me to go back to sleep.
Anybody else “sleep-sex” on occasion?
Hahahaa SLS, I can relate to that. DW and I do engage in that kind of games.
A number of times when I wake up in the morning I realize that my penis has been played with, then I would ask DW and she would confess. I would then laugh. I have on a number of occasions played with DW body when she is asleep. Some of the times its ends up in sex. Most of the times she would wake up and continue with it. A few times she would sleep without noticing. (ie when I engage in sex with her just 30 minutes after she has slept). DW have done same to me too.
“but by that point DW is awake and gets me to go back to sleep”
Yeah, I can’t imagine how that went. (sarcasm included) 🤣🤣🤣
To answer your questions, “sleep sex”? While some one is sleeping? I can’t imagine doing that while dear wife was fully asleep. I wouldn’t want that. Do I want to initiate/start something while she’s asleep? That’s a different story. I think I was the one who initiated much of the time when she was asleep. It was early in our marriage when DW wasn’t working some, in school, or sleeping better and she didn’t have time demands the next day. Now I usually don’t want to wake her out of respect because of her menopausal night sweats and if she’d just gotten to sleep before I woke up, I’d feel bad.
Do I get a little frisky now and again? If I do, it’s probably between 4-6 am and she’s stirred some, it may be a long or stressful day without another chance for us and we haven’t made love in at least a couple days. I’ll cuddle up and spoon with her and put my arm around her. If I don’t place my hand on a breast and she’s at least semi-conscious, she’ll move my hand to a breast. From there, a little rubbing and grinding usually communicates my intentions if that’s a big need/desire and she’ll play along. Other times, it’s just a fun little connection time…without sex, and that also may be the start of foreplay and mindplay for the rest of the day.
It is a dream fantasy of mine for her to wake me this way and she’s started the process; of course, I really wake up then. (I can’t imagine sleeping so soundly that I’d missed out on some penis play. Never happen) 😀
It used to be a pretty frequent thing for us. I’d find myself dreaming about sex and then realize I wasn’t dreaming. Usually would happen when we hadn’t connected in a while and DH was feeling an urgent need. I always loved the feeling that he needed me so badly he just couldn’t help himself, but it would get frustrating when that was the only way it happened because I sleep very deeply and just don’t have the muscle tension for a while after I wake to get all the way to O. (Only close enough to get REALLY frustrated!!) So I communicated that I didn’t want that to be the only time he approached me, and it hasn’t happened in ages. We still aren’t up to a satisfactory frequency (for either of us–at least I believe he is also not satisfied with the frequency) but I am working hard on the root causes that I can address. I see evidence that he is making efforts too. We will get there.
Ideally, I would often experience the feeling that he needs me so badly he just can’t help himself when we are both fully awake! ;D
I’ve woken my DW for sex a few times and I think she’s woken me up once or twice. Neither of us has ever had sex with the other while they were asleep though. My SIL, toward the end of her horrible first marriage, woke up to her husband having sex with her. We all agreed it wasn’t consensual (of course they were falling apart at the time so it wouldn’t have been consensual on her end even if she had been awake), so there’s that experience to bias this issue maybe in my mind. While I might do some preliminary “pampering” while she’s asleep, I make sure DW wakes up to consent before I go very far.
We do a lot of sexual touching while we are asleep, particularly me to DH if I happen to wake up, or lay awake. We don’t have sex while asleep or even half asleep. We have always done a lot of touching at night, since married, so neither of us wakes up from it. I am convinced that DH turns toward me on purpose, in his sleep, so that I can admire him and touch him better. When I ask him in the morning, he has no idea.