QOTD – 8-3-2020-What was the first time you experienced deep arousal around your spouse?

    I was thinking back to DW and I’s dating days recently and re-living some fond memories. Some of them are related to my sexual attraction to her. 

    The first memories I have of a unique deep arousal and sexual desire for DW are the following:

    First date:

    The moment I asked her to be my girlfriend was one of the sweetest memories. In high school she had never really been pursued by guys so it was a big emotional moment for her. She gave me the bear hug of the century and I felt her breasts pressed against my chest. I never wanted that hug to end. Lol

    Later on our first date she wore a dress that showed just a hint of cleavage. Nothing scandalous but it was a sign that she wanted to dress in an attractive manner for me. It was the first time I felt a deep and abiding desire to take this woman to bed and make love to her. Fortunately we were able to hold on to our convictions and were virgins on the wedding night.

    So what about y’all? When did you start feeling that um…loving feeling towards your spouse?

    (Note for clarity: This question is about innocent feelings of sexual desire and arousal between your spouse and yourself before you were married, not sex before marriage.)

    On the floor Asked on August 3, 2020 in Question of the Day.

    You asked her to be your girlfriend on your first date?  Wow! That was fast.

    on August 3, 2020.

    My DW and I were gf/bf before we went on a date. Everyone’s approach can be different.

    on August 3, 2020.
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    11 Answer(s)

      Trouble remembering at 15 years, 20 years?? Smh! About 32 years ago, I remember the stretch of road we were on when DH first took my hand and a bolt of lightning shot up my arm and straight to my vagina, which suddenly clenched tight enough to crack walnuts. I was scared to move the rest of the drive because I didn’t want him to think I was pulling away. (I was also terrified he could tell what was happening to me and would be shocked or disgusted.)

      The first time he kissed me I was so transported I don’t even have any actual memories. I think I just sort of blacked out for it because I was so wound tight emotionally. (I made up for it over the next five years and MANY many kisses, though!)

      Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.
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        The first time her soft and smooth fingers intertwined with mine as we held hands for the first time and I felt her soft breast occasionally brush/press lightly against my arm as we walked close together. About 20 minutes later I had declared my love for her and that I wanted us to be a couple and hopefully marry one day. She said “Yes, I would like that very much, too” and then I asked If I could kiss her. She wanted that too, and we kissed for the first time….

        Hammock Answered on August 3, 2020.
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          When we first met, we were quickly great friends. At one point that just as we were negotiating the road from friends to “more”, she was asked to house sit for one of her mom’s friends while they were on vacation. They had a bunch of snakes, tarantulas, etc and she was going to be alone there, and it kind of scared her, so she asked me to stay there to help. That night, after we had gone our separate ways in the house, I was just walking out of the bathroom when motion caught my eye. Across the house, she hadn’t closed the bedroom door completely and I saw her standing in just her bra and underwear (I remember the color and style perfectly) as she changed into pajamas. It was 20 years ago, I was just 21 years old, and she was 18, but it sure seems like yesterday in my mind.

          On the floor Answered on August 3, 2020.

          Thanks for answering with an honest response even though it is a bit illicit (I was curious to see if anyone would be willing to “fess up” to an illicit answer). I’ve gotta ask – does your DW know this story, and if so, when did you tell her?

          -Scott

          on August 3, 2020.

          She knows. I definitely stared way too long and felt bad about that. I don’t remember if I told her before of after we got married. I did confess it and she just laughed and hugged me. She thinks it is funny that I still remember. She actually doesn’t remember the event at all, or even ever owning the green under clothes I saw. She has admitted to intentionally teasing me, knowing that I liked her but not having the same level of feelings, so she says there is every chance that she left the door ajar on purpose. She has apologized over and over for intentionally teasing me back then. Lol
          It is a bit of a scandalous story, but the situation was not really racy at all. There wasn’t anything going on between us, even though I would have liked there to be. It was one friend keeping another company, because her mom volunteered her for something that scared her.

          on August 3, 2020.
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            I remember well our first date and our first kiss. I truly felt after that evening that I had met someone special!! Later that summer while we were swimming at a pool she lost her swimming suit top. We were both 23 at the time and this was embarrassing for her and exciting for me!

            Hammock Answered on August 3, 2020.
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              I smiled when I read this Q – I’m still smiling! When did I experience deep arousal? The moment she captured my attention! We were teenagers (for heavens sake!) and it was instant love. My hormones were very healthy and she was the most beautiful (even more so at age 70!) girl/woman in the world!

               

              Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.

              It is really wonderful to read about your strong desire and attraction to your wife, growing even as she ages.  As women we hear from society that our sexual desirability just plummets as we age and it can be discouraging.  This encourages me to grow as a sexual woman as I grow older

              on August 3, 2020.

              I also love to read the lovely things  you say about your wife. I think we all want to “capture [our husbands’] attention”!

              on August 3, 2020.
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                We had dated for a few months. One day we went swimming together at a pool. Enough said!

                Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.
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                  I remember that first, “What is that? Oh!”, moment.

                  Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.

                  Oops, that was meant as a comment to @Scott’s answer, but I am on my phone. No editing.

                  on August 3, 2020.

                  Me too! I was flabbergasted that he was having that response to me!

                  on August 3, 2020.

                  I think it’s okay as an answer…more likely to hear from other women if this is a common thing. And I’m curious to know if that’s common!

                  -Scott

                  Edit: great to see that @Duchess has already responded with a similar thing! Zelda was flattered too!

                  on August 3, 2020.
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                    As responsive desire, deep arousal didn’t happen until there was something physical to respond to….which I know my first orgasm with him was just from a fully clothed back rub. And my memory doesn’t store that kind of information.

                    I wonder if a woman would really have any awareness of arousal,

                    Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.
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                      Beyond the sight of her, I don’t remember beyond the first kiss(es).  What I clearly remember is always stopping at the gas station by her house to get a pop and use the restroom before the long drive home; and after kissing her goodbye (well, actually, after a lot of kisses) it always seemed to take about 5 minutes to be physically able to go to the bathroom. 😀

                      Under the stars Answered on August 3, 2020.
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                        I think for us it was a Sunday afternoon after church. I was visiting her for the day, it had been a long week and decided to take a nap on the couch together. There was a mutual trust and connection between us that nothing physical would happen as we both drifted off to sleep.

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on August 3, 2020.
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