QOTD-9-28-2020-What does sex mean to you?
This question was inspired by the following post from J at Hot, Holy, and Humorous.
“But what does sex mean to you? That is, when you think about sex, what words or feelings come to mind? Excitement? Pressure? Acceptance? Conflict? Intimacy?“
Intimacy. Total emotional connection. Peace. Satisfaction. Gratitude and happiness. Like absolutely nothing else.
It took me years to realize that while my wife also enjoyed sex, her emotional reactions and feelings were different, and in turn she didn’t understand mine.
Being fully connected, being intimate and doing that one thing together that you can’t do with anyone else. Being close to each other and pushing the ‘world” away and spending some time with your lovely spouse.
My wife doesn’t need or want as much intimate time together, not sure why, I am usually the one that wants it more.
In a way, I wish that my answer was for both of us. Sex is a multi step dance for two willing partners. Each should be fully open to each other emotionally and physically. Each dance partner should be respectful of each other’s likes and dislikes in their marriage bed. An orgasm for each is the ultimate goal, but in the end there is a loving emotional connection between the two dance partners.
I am reminded of the words of Saladin in the movie “Kingdom of Heaven”:
“it is nothing…… but it means everything!”
Sex probably means too much at times. But can anyone decrease its true meaning? God puts it in high esteem, yet warns of its power.
in many ways, it makes us who we are. It defines our very being. I am male because of sex. Yet the sex act should not define me. When you are a young man, sex is what drives you.
For me, the good feelings that come to mind when I think of sex are the emotional connection with my wife, excitement, intimacy, fun, enticing visuals, sensations, etc.
The ”less good” feelings I get when I think about sex are ‘will my DW be able to orgasm’, and how can we keep our marriage bed fresh and exciting?
It certainly means emotional & physical intimacy with my life’s faithful partner. … (even occasionally recapturing the wonder and excitement that I felt in exploring my first girlfriend’s body as a 16 year old and learning for the first time about my own responses to hers) then, remembering the early years of DW giving herself to me in small steps, making each one a highly-treasured gift that was exclusively mine.
And now for me (not so much for DW) it is refusal to surrender a decline in both desire and physical ability to the march of time… A commitment to make the most of what we both still have and aspire to enjoy the best sex in all of its manifestations that we’ve ever had now that our nest is empty and the pressures of work and career are over.
I wish that my DW was not already convinced that 2 to 3X of vanilla sex /week is “much more frequent for our age than normal” and would reach for the stars with me.