QOTD – Celebrity Crushes
This would be a sore topic for me. I would not like my husband having a celebrity crush. I don’t think it a healthy avenue to start down either. Personally, I am not going to feed ANY attraction to anyone other my spouse. Not even acknowledging it really. Kind of a bounce your eyes thing, but more bounce attraction. It is immediately kicked out of my head and thoughts are redirected to my husband.
It seems to me too complicated and person-dependent to put celebrity crushes into some definitive okay or not-okay box. For some people, it can be just fun, and for others, it could unwittingly be a seed that grows into lust. Obviously, there are limits to one’s crush so that it doesn’t go beyond an “I have observed that this famous person is attractive and we can joke about this” thing. Of course, there will always be other people we find attractive, and since celebrities tend to be pictured everywhere and also are disproportionately attractive relative to the population at large, it’s easy to develop a celebrity crush. But I do think it’s possible for a person to let attraction to a celebrity become lust, and even though there’s no chance of hooking up with that celebrity and even if there are no salacious photos involved, lustful feelings that may cause a person to feel less attracted or connected to one’s own spouse could develop and/or we may develop a skewed idea of what a person ought to look like. And even if we have good reason to feel like we have strong, wise limits on our celebrity crushes, if the spouse has even a slight reason to believe the other isn’t fully attracted to them or there are other problems in the marriage, one’s celebrity crush could be hurtful to the spouse.
I can’t say I am sure how you or others define “celebrity crush”… by my definition I haven’t had one since the beginning of 90210. I find a range of actors and actresses attractive and don’t mind stating so, nor do I mind husband stating so, because I know there’s nothing beyond observation and preferences going on.
Crushes? No one really. We honestly don’t know what most celebrities are like in real life, as we only see their “persona”.
In terms of attractiveness, Zelda certainly appreciates some of the superhero actors–Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Hugh Jackman, Paul Rudd, etc. I certainly find many actresses attractive, though I find the large majority of females to be attractive. I’d say both Natalie Portman and Anne Hathaway would be near the top of the list, though I really don’t know that many celebrities (we don’t follow pop culture.)
ETA: people discussed their childhood crushes in the 04/13/2020 QOTD.
I used to never ever notice actors as anything more than “Oh, he’s probably considered great-looking. I can see it.” At some point, I’m not even sure how or when it happened–maybe as our intimacy and ability to be more fully honest with each other increased or maybe it was actually a change in my–appreciation??–and I started noticing more? I don’t know. Having always felt rather physically unappealing myself, I guess I made a point to not care much about the physical appearance of men. (I’m just really blessed to have ended up with a super handsome hubby, because I fell in love with him for his heart! ;D That’s a joke, but it’s kind of not, either.) At one point I actually held the opinion that the male body just wasn’t that interesting to look at, and maybe even a little gross. Poor hubby! I know now that much have really hurt him to know that! At any rate, I did begin to appreciate, in an objective way, the beauty of the male form, and began to notice specific male forms (including DH’s!) and was completely honest with DH. He claimed to be honest with me about the female actors he found attractive, although the number was and is gratifyingly few, so it’s possible he is just being wise and kind.
When the CW show Arrow started, I was deeply impressed with the fact that Stephen Amell was actually doing so much of the super-hero stuff himself and that he had committed to all that training. It tickled my imagination to think that a person could actually BECOME the fictional character if they really wanted to. The salmon ladder was particularly impressive. We joked about me drooling over him and DH laughed about it. After that, the joke would continue with other actors (egged on by our teenage daughter who has no problem admiring pretty male faces) and eventually I feel like I’ve become this wife who is always leering at actors but I don’t want it to be that way. It’s like one of those jokes that was funny at first, but is now so deeply ingrained in the group consciousness that it won’t go away and it’s really not funny at all any more. I would like to stop being thought of (even in a joking way) as, well call a spade a spade, lusting after other men. I’m not.
I do still notice when an actor is appealing, but I’ve never once desired (or fantasized about) an actual encounter with any of them. Except to highlight in my mind the absurdity of it. Washboard abs look great on tv, sure, but the heart behind them isn’t the one I’m in love with. My DH’s middle may be a little squishier, but his body is the one that keeps me warm at night and holds me close when I’m sad or scared. It’s his eyebrow that has the scar where he dove in front of me to protect me from falling rock. It’s his brain that works hard all week to support his family. It’s his hands that know exactly how to make me feel so good and his head full of 32 years of memories that I wouldn’t trade for any other body.
I completely agree with Wheat48. Like my husband has said to me, i don’t WANT to WANT anyone but you.
However sometimes he will ask me if i think a certain actor is attractive and i will be truthful but it ends there, i am usually pointing out how pretty someone is when we’re watching a show. And i never ever say someone is “hot”. I actually hate that word, to me it implies finding someone sexy. And i don’t go there in my mind and neither does he 🙂
I have numerous models and actresses that I think are incredibly cast. For those who don’t know what that means; they act along with make-up, camera angle and light to create a great effect. Models are the same but they are chosen to be in their profession and being trim and thin (my favorite) they retain their jobs as long as they stay beautiful. Pictures are brushed to smooth out spots, wrinkles and spots on skin but get serious, you gotta have a base look to be in the photo shoot to begin with. Liberal, non christian politically outspoken models and actresses cause me to dislike and avoid them.
Male actor-action hero types I like but again if they are outspoken against Christianity or they use profanity too much in public, I have a certain disdain for them. Also, many actors go on a one year workout with a paid trainer to get certain actors into shape for certain films. Brad Pit is one of them. After the particular film, the actor stops working out. The Rock, as we call him, is always working out and during all this lockdown he is conversing with his fans on Instagram as if we all have elaborate gym equipment in our homes and condos. I call this “out of touch with reality.”
Its enough that I see a movie and I hate a character, love them or think they are drop dead sexy, therefore I was entertained and that’s enough, move on.
Actors live on a different planet and have a different world view as a result. I remind myself this all the time.