Refractory Period

    Is there any way to decrease a man’s refractory period?  Does it simply decrease if you O more regularly (daily instead of weekly)?

    Any exercises to minimize it? Do kegels help?

    I believe it gets longer as you get older yes?

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    13 Answer(s)

      I don’t think more frequent O’s will make much of a difference, but you could experiment and find out. 😉

      If you’re getting enough rest and drinking enough fluids, and if you’re in good health, that helps decrease refractory periods. Some of it is also related to genetics and aging, too, which are both unavoidable.

      I have found that kegels help with increasing muscle tone. They mainly help with control, however.

      And yes, it does get longer as you get older. Wait, you were still talking about refractory period, weren’t you? 😉

      Do you have a particular goal in mind?

      California King Answered on October 20, 2019.
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        @Samantha:

        “Does how long it last seem to make a difference to how long the refractory period is?  If a man finishes quickly, should he be able to get erect again quickly?”

        There are a huge number of variables that go into refractory-period length: genetics, age, overall health of the person, hydration, tiredness, intensity of the session, time since the previous session, and probably phase of the moon. Another enormous one is what type of session it is: partnered sex often has much longer refractory periods than solo sex does. Even in my mid 30’s, I could ejaculate a second time within 30 min via masturbation/porn, but I seriously doubt I could do under an hour (and maybe not even 3 hr) with my wife. I believe this has been scientifically measured.

        King bed Answered on October 25, 2019.
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          I’m not sure of this, but it would seem to me that edging or priming the pump might help.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 20, 2019.
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            @Samantha:

            I believe the refractory period is technically the period of time after orgasm when the nerves are not responsive to more sexual stimulation. Basically, that means a person can’t get physically aroused (erect) again until that window is over.

            What you’re describing is rather impressive and I think possible for only a small percentage of men. The only session I’ve had like it was on our honeymoon when DW and I did PIV the first time. We badly botched things so that she wasn’t lubricated at all…the combination of her unlubricated vagina  (which felt odd and didn’t allow for real thrusting) plus my nerves made me do what I can only describe as a “partial” ejaculation. After it, I was able to continue without withdrawing or ever losing my erection.

            King bed Answered on October 25, 2019.
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              @Samantha, what you’re describing is rather unusual. The majority of men, even in their twenties, would be hard pressed (no pun intended) to keep up that kind of regimen every single day. I have been known in my younger years, to make love with my wife three times in one day, but that was the unusual circumstance of an two-night “sexcation” where we had as much sex as we wanted, and could sleep/relax as much as we wanted. I’ve never heard of anyone being able to keep up (again, no pun intended) 3x a day every day. But hey, since you say it’s so, yes, what @Scott says is the definition of refractory period is certainly true.

              @Scott, the only time I’ve ever ejaculated twice in a single sex session was that exact type of situation as you describe for your experience. A partial ejaculation, followed by the rest of it later on, if you will.

              California King Answered on October 25, 2019.

              I didn’t know it was that unusual.  My sister said she and her DH ML every day, and he’s able to go multiple times.  She said he’s even kept going once and was able to ejaculate and not lose his erection.  I wish that was how it worked.   I think I’d prefer 1 long ML session rather than a couple of regular ones.

              Does how long it last seem to make a difference to how long the refractory period is?  If a man finishes quickly, should he be able to get erect again quickly?

              on October 25, 2019.
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                My body is trained to stay erect during the refractory period as long as stimulation continues.  Maybe at 90% or so of full erection (a penis ring could keep it at 100% or close to it.)  It is possible to get that way, but a man has to be able to endure the hyperstimulation feeling through orgasm.  Eventually, for me, it got much less intense until usually I don’t feel the hyperstimulation discomfort anymore. A wife could play with her husband very gently to extend orgasm or to keep going after– either gentile or a bit harder for a more torturous experience if both are into something a little ‘kinky.’

                It’s kind of a wasted talent, though, since my wife wants to quit sometimes when I want to keep going.  When I was younger, sometimes I would have sex with her, and keep going for the second ejaculation.  The thing is, it can take a while to get there.  It’s fun to keep going if she is on top laying on me since I can still enjoy feeling her skin and the affection side.  During this time, sensations are a like a refractory period– it just doesn’t feel good like having sex down there.  It’s not bad.  It’s exhausting if I’m on top and muscles that don’t hurt during arousal may hurt or feel fatigued.  If she’s on top, I don’t feel that sexual pleasure but there usually isn’t anything unpleasant since my muscles aren’t doing much.

                I think it is possible to shorted the refractory period with kegel exercises.  When I was young, I read Extended Sexual Orgasm by Brauer and tried the sets of Kegel exercises.  There are clenching exercises to increase arousal and push exercises to pull back from orgasm.  There are also testicle raises.  Clenching and raising testicles can speed up getting close to that second orgasm quicker.  When I was younger and went for the occasional second orgasm during intercourse, I’d tighten up to get there before I wore my wife out too bad.  It was hard, but I could get back in an aroused zone after several minutes of doing that  It seemed to help bring me out of the refractory period.

                By ‘refractory period’ I meant that feeling of no arousal, though I had an erection or partial erection.

                Queen bed Answered on October 26, 2019.
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                  Having more orgasms will make your refractory period longer, not decrease it.  Refractory period definitely gets longer as you get older. Younger, it might be minutes to an hour, as you get older, it will be hours and even a full day. ED meds can shorten a lot though.

                  King bed Answered on October 20, 2019.

                  I wasn’t clear – sorry.  I updated the question to reflect the intent.  Does it help to O more often – not in 1 day, but day by day.

                  IE Someone who O’s daily or twice a day, can they build up a reduced refractory period?  Instead of someone who O’s only once a week.

                  on October 20, 2019.
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                    What made a huge difference in my husband is getting his testosterone numbers up to his optimal level.

                    Under the stars Answered on October 20, 2019.
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                      O’ing doesn’t reduce ones refractory period…and yes, it increases as one gets older.

                      King bed Answered on October 20, 2019.
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                        To piggyback:  Is there an emotional aspect to the refractory period? I always felt like it would be nice if DH could muster the impression of wanting round two, even if he couldn’t physically manage it. Instead, once he’s done, he’s done and doesn’t seem like he is really interested in sex any more until at least a day later. Is there a connection between the physical arousal of an erection and the desire to engage in activity that stimulates the wife?

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 20, 2019.
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