Refractory Period

    Is there any way to decrease a man’s refractory period?  Does it simply decrease if you O more regularly (daily instead of weekly)?

    Any exercises to minimize it? Do kegels help?

    I believe it gets longer as you get older yes?

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    13 Answer(s)

      @Duchess: what do you mean by “wanting” and second, is H willing to continue with you until you O? Or are you saying he doesn’t care about you if he O’s first?

      I would say that desire/drive is a personal/personality and definitely age thing, that may change from day to day. Personally, when done, I feel close to my wife and we love to lay in each other’s arms but my immediate desire is simply that and rest/sleep and most of the time my physical “drive” for sex is done. HOWEVER, if we’re together for the rest of the day, we might try something again, especially when the kids aren’t around BUT in my 50s, my ability to orgasm again within 1-4 hrs is not usually going to happen. At 6-12 hrs, I can usually do so if DW gives a lot of oral and manual stimulation and we take our time kissing and foreplay with her too. I’m also a HD male and I would say she is too as long as I stay emotionally connected to her.  When we got married a few years ago, we talked about what would be a good amount, she said 4-5x/wk…OK!!!!!! (I was just hoping  for 3-4x and at our ages (early 40’s & 50’s) , I think we’re doing great!)

      I will always try to get my DW to O first because I believe in being a gentlemen and that “ladies first” applies to the bedroom too. I don’t want her to resent me or feel that the sex or her body is just about me “getting off” so I always try to serve her.  There are times when she just knows it’s not gonna happen(hormones/cycle) and it’s about me and there are other times when she says it’s about me and in turning me on, she gets so turned on that O’ing becomes a strong possibility and desire for her.

      On the floor Answered on October 21, 2019.
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        I believe that erectile dysfunction drugs like sildenafil (viagra) can reduce the refractory period.

        As to the emotional aspect of the refractory period, when a man reaches orgasm his body releases oxytocin. This is known as the “cuddle hormone” in women, but tends to make men sleepy.

        California King Answered on October 21, 2019.
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          If refractory period means how long it takes a man to get hard again,  what is a normal time?  DH and I make love every day, and each session usually include 3 erections and ejaculations by him.  Does the refractory period mean how much time between each erection?  Or how much time between each session we have?

          Queen bed Answered on October 25, 2019.

          Sounds a little too good to be true.

          on October 25, 2019.

          Yep. I thought the same.

          on October 25, 2019.

          I’d trade it all for once a week, if it meant i’d get to O :/

          on October 25, 2019.

          Samantha, As I suggested on your “Mismatched Body” thread, make a new thread about that in the “Vagina Problems” category. Assuming, of course, that you have read all the posts about O problems already. What you have described for your situation is very normal. My wife went >12 yr of married life before her first O. Stories like ours are not uncommon. Many people here are willing to chime in to help and have a huge amount of combined experience.

          on October 25, 2019.
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