Regarding Christianbuthuman’s question “Any advice”
Sorry for creating a new post, but for some reason this forum will not allow me to participate in the previous post. I tried to post but was not logged in. I copied my response and logged in, but now whenever I go back to that specific post, it believes that I am not logged in. When I go to any other page, I am logged in; when I go back to that post, I am not. This has happened to me once previously with a QOTD.
@Christianbuthuman – I am glad that you saw a glimpse of progress.
I’ve been reading Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages this week, and a hypothesis sprung up. Like I said, we here can only guess, and it’s one hypothesis out of many possible.
Chapman says that what our spouses ask for and what they complain about is often a reflection of their love language. When I first read all your descriptions, I had the sense of your wife as a materialistic money digger. I just finished the book this morning and was thinking about how the love language of receiving gifts is so foreign to me that it actually seems shallow and horrible sometimes – but just because I can’t wrap my head around it doesn’t mean it’s not a valid experience for someone else, and doesn’t make them materialistic.
Then I suddenly remembered that your wife’s complaints center around material things, making me wonder if she is not materialistic but rather has receiving gifts as her love language. Then I remembered that you are concerned about paying for college. This all made me wonder if you might have pulled back on the spending a bit in anticipation of paying for college, after having been somewhat extravagant in the past, and your wife experienced it as a withdrawal of love.
Like I mentioned, it’s just one possibility of many, but it’s not very obvious and I wanted to run it past you in case there could be any truth in there.