Regarding Christianbuthuman’s question “Any advice”

    Sorry for creating a new post, but for some reason this forum will not allow me to participate in the previous post.  I tried to post but was not logged in.  I copied my response and logged in, but now whenever I go back to that specific post, it believes that I am not logged in.  When I go to any other page, I am logged in; when I go back to that post, I am not.  This has happened to me once previously with a QOTD.

    @Christianbuthuman – I am glad that you saw a glimpse of progress.

    I’ve been reading Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages this week, and a hypothesis sprung up. Like I said, we here can only guess, and it’s one hypothesis out of many possible.
    Chapman says that what our spouses ask for and what they complain about is often a reflection of their love language. When I first read all your descriptions, I had the sense of your wife as a materialistic money digger. I just finished the book this morning and was thinking about how the love language of receiving gifts is so foreign to me that it actually seems shallow and horrible sometimes – but just because I can’t wrap my head around it doesn’t mean it’s not a valid experience for someone else, and doesn’t make them materialistic.

    Then I suddenly remembered that your wife’s complaints center around material things, making me wonder if she is not materialistic but rather has receiving gifts as her love language. Then I remembered that you are concerned about paying for college. This all made me wonder if you might have pulled back on the spending a bit in anticipation of paying for college, after having been somewhat extravagant in the past, and your wife experienced it as a withdrawal of love.

    Like I mentioned, it’s just one possibility of many, but it’s not very obvious and I wanted to run it past you in case there could be any truth in there.

    On the floor Asked on October 8, 2019 in Sexually Refused .
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      Your insight is definitely something that should be considered!

      As a Gifts person, I have never been into large displays of gifting, but that doesn’t mean others can’t be.

      Under the stars Answered on October 8, 2019.
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